It was the year of the Ass Monkey, 2008 that Wahoo the Druid first realized that if Assmonkeyology was to thrive, then a new location must be realized. He searched the world over and finally settled on a new location for the Official Site of Assmonkeyology. It was to be Deland. As Wahoo The Druid gathered the Assmonkeys and led them over rugged roads and through treacherous valleys, they knew that there was a higher power at work. The Assmonkeys struggled during the trip, as they were almost out of beer and they kept wondering if they would ever reach their final destination � the Promised Land of Assmonkeyology. As the Assmonkeys were beginning to get restless, and some, even began to question Wahoo The Druid, they finally reached their destination. As they approached the new land, their eyes were filled with awe and wonder as they surveyed the surroundings. Finally, Ex-Ass Monkey Bob was the first to speak; �How do you get a beer around this place?� he said. Krakah quickly replied; �get it out of the fucking cooler that you brought.� Ex-Ass Monkey Bob retrieved a round of the sacred beers from the cooler and the Ass Monkeys moved to the back yard of the Promised Land and immediately designated the pool deck as the official gathering place. Krakah, Ex-Ass Monkey Bob, Cassalamadingdong and Death Metal Marc all worked tirelessly over the next few weeks, alongside Wahoo The Druid as they prepared the grounds and the house in order to bring it up to the standards that any Ass Monkey would expect. Over the next few arduous months, during rain, snow, sleet and hail, the Assmonkeys toiled in the blazing sun, rainy skies and snowy grounds. Trees were planted, grass was sown, bushes were trimmed and the new land, soon to be known as Assmonkeyville began to take shape. A great feast was planned and Ass Monkeys came from all over the land, young and old alike to celebrate Assmonkeyville. Manatees were slaughtered, and feasted upon, bonfires roared in the darkness and the night was filled with general debauchery as Wahoo The Druid, Krakah, Death Metal Marc, Cassalamadingdong and Ex-Ass Monkey Bob celebrated with the drinking of the sacred beer. The grounds were filled with current Ass Monkeys, Brand New Ass Monkeys and many, many potential Ass Monkeys. The celebration lasted well into the night as the Ass Monkeys reveled in the excitement of the first party in the Promised Land � Assmonkeyville.

The Jihad

The Assmonkeys have called for a Jihad on Sidney Crosby of the Pittsburgh Penguins and any other faggoty skater who pretends to be an NHL player. Sid The Ball Licker does nothing but complain and if ever had to play an actual game where the refs weren't giving him every call, would be unable to do so. He sucks ass, licks balls and should be thrown out of hockey!