-
When
getting a beer (or other beverage) for yourself, you must always ask
the others if they are in need
-
Humans are at the top of the food chain
-
All
meat is edible
-
One should never interfere in a species' extinction
and yes, fish evolve feet
-
Beer is a delicacy to be savored
-
We shall
never kill in the name of the Great Ass Monkey
-
When driving...PUT THE
FUCKING CELL PHONE DOWN AND PAY ATTENTION
-
Tom Cruise, Keanu Reeves and
Val Kilmer can never be Ass Monkeys (this list is subject to grow)
-
Cassalamadingdong
is to be revered as the Mother of the Ass Monkey movement
-
Never drive
slow in the left lane
-
We can celebrate Assmonkeyology when and how
we see fit or not at all
-
Never piss off a waiter or waitress unless
you like spit with your food
-
Manatees are the anti-Ass Monkey and stand
for everything that we dislike
- It is acceptable to profit from the
Great Ass Monkey
-
Scarface quotes are acceptable in any situation
-
We
shall never �worship� the Great Ass Monkey, rather �Celebrate� him.
-
When
making a left hand turn and a turn lane is present...get into the
turn lane BEFORE stepping on your brakes
-
Unlike other religions, a
true Assmonkeyologist accepts and embraces all religions - no matter
how stupid they are.
-
The Great Ass Monkey came to us from Mars.
-
Reality
TV sucks and one should never "Dance with a Star"
-
Two dog is the official
halfling of the Ass Monkeys
-
Guinness is the official beer of the Ass
Monkeys but any brand is acceptable
-
Hockey is the official sport of
the Ass Monkeys
-
Smokey J is the official door stop of the Ass Monkeys
-
It
is believed that those who practice a "do as I say, not as I do" lifestyle
should be eaten as appetizers
-
March is designated as the official month
of the Ass Monkeys. It shall be celebrated with food, drink, song and festivals
