information

The pushing force behind Firefest is none other than Sounds Better Drunk. From what I hear, many fans from Whitewater, or the Eighth Circle of Hell, have been begging for a reunion concert. And thus, Firefest was born. At least it's given me something to do...
-Herv

Apparently a comedy band infamous for changing their name every show and improvising lyrics each play list, Sounds Better Drunk, or SBD (thanks James), have been a force in the Whitewater comedy rock band scene since early 94(?). Their talent for completely upstaging the other local Rockomedy bands has spring boarded them straight into the hearts of 17 people. How can we forget classics like, "The Hawk Song," or, "Roses." It seems the only thing that SBD doesn't have going for them is puberty...

Vocals: Bill Hoekman 
a.k.a. Billy Bew (like Jew) Rye (sp?) a.k.a. Billy Blue Eyes a.k.a. 38 Special a.k.a. Walking Tragedy

Born in 1983 from the coupling of a man and Tom Petty, the third child, second son, is loved by all he touches. Seeing as how his brother got the intelligence and his sisters the charisma, Bill didn't have a whole lot to work with. Problems were spilling out of the boy at a rate far too frequent. From bricks to ankles this poor boy turned to a life of crime at a very young age. Miraculously surviving the brutal initiation rites of "Alma de Rosado," a Whitewater gang, little Billy "ran" drugs for roughly 4 years before a bullet wound left him even more stupid. 
We begin to ask God for mercy as our lovable cripple entered high school looking like an autistic kangaroo dressed him. The awkward years were many but perseverance and large quantities of pity shaped Bill into the man he is today. As a morally sound man of God, Bill strives to enhance the lives of all of his friends. Whether it be an impromptu song about his penis, or a stupid face with a weird sound, it is safe to say Earth's daughters are safe. 

Guitar: James Haygood
(I don't think James has any nicknames...maybe Haygo?)

A legend before his time, James Haygood is a real estate mogul of Whitewater. You'll often see him arrange multi-million dollar deals much the way you and I buy an extra value meal. I would even go so far as to guess that he could easily arrange the purchase of a human. With a tongue of gold and a palm of silver, there isn't much the James can't do. 
Although he leads a very private social life, I was able to view a few photos that offer a glimpse into the life of Haygood. Unfortunately I cannot post the photos on the internet, but suffice to say that he looks good oiled and flexing...

Bass: Matthew Bennet Harris
a.k.a. Cracked Walls and a Cigarette

Lover of chocolate and all things furry, Matt has been an advocate for all things holy for many years. Little is known about his childhood but much is speculated. One professor hypothesizes that Mr. Harris is the direct result of cold fusion. Others just think that two extremely ugly people had a kid. But like many mysteries of the universe, this will probably never be worthy of discussing. 
Truth be told, I haven't met a single person that hasn't like Matt Harris although most turn and run once Lockwood starts playing. At least Hootie has some competition now... watch the fuck out Darius Rucker... seriously...

Drums: Paul Christian Johanson
a.k.a. Paul Johandsome (thanks Mach)

Paul is in a world of trouble these days. With his father's shoes too big to fill and his pointless major, the future is growing dimmer by the minute. Luckily he is in a wonderful band full of wonderful emo. If you ever see them, you'll be able to tell which one Paul is because he has a different hair cut. 
Weaned in the same town as the rest of SBD, at an early age Paul found himself in the spotlight with his striking performance as Jubei in "Basketball, Money, Dead." (Note: I apologize if that is the wrong movie, they were all garbage anyway. Thank you...) Building on the foundations of a solid acting background, Paul ventured to Madison where he is currently exploring his Asian heritage.  

MC: Matt Bughman
a.k.a. Fucking Mick

Our own Matt Bughman will be hosting the ceremonies on the night of the 21st. For those of you that don't know him, he is Irish as hell. So Irish, that it is nauseating for those around him. At least, he'll get a crack at Anna Bascik...

Author: Matt Harper
a.k.a. Harvey a.k.a. The Herv a.k.a. "That dick on the phone"

What do I say about myself? Perhaps just the simple truth... it is actually not that big of a secret.
I've never met a person that liked me the first time we spoke. Many of you may have experienced my abrasion in the past. I assure you that you've done nothing wrong and that I am actually just an asshole. Old, bitter, and wounded I often disagree with the way I treat myself so stop crying on my shoulder and toughen up. John Ritter understands...
Those of you from Whitewater may also remember me as the guy that may have dated Molly Gunter for a time. In fact, I'm still trying to figure out why that one went sour... I must have done something wrong... but at least I'm inspired...
Besides all that I really don't do anything interesting, I like simple things like eggs and tits. I have a knack for being unmotivated and I'm not much to look at but I can keep you talking. At least long enough to walk away from you mid sentence. 
It is hard to speak of such things since I've doused my pride with strong drinks and faceless women.

Oh, my parents didn't love me and my dog died, thanks for bringing it up...