| (at City Park) isabelle: can i please get some ice cream, laura?? me: no, or else then *everyone* will want to get ice cream. isabelle: please?!? me: *no*. isabelle: aw, man. i wish my *dad* was here. if he was here, he'd definitely let me get ice cream. he would-- wait, is that my dad over there? wait, hold on...that looked just like my dad!!! me: nice try, isabelle. sit down. ----- me (as we're exiting the bus): STOP! girls!! get in a LINE. why are you all acting like animals?!?!? Kevanna (pensively): if i were an animal, i think i'd be...an elephant. ----- danielle: what are we doing when we go to city park? are we riding the paddle boats? i hope we get to ride them. me: we might, i don't know. danielle: wait really? but i'm scared of the paddle boats!! ----- me (walking into the bathroom and almost hitting a little girl in the face with the door): ooo!! you scared me!! little 5 y.o. girl: you?! how do you think i feel?? i am much smaller than you!! ----- Nia: look, Ms. Laura! it's a Louisiana quarter! me (pointing to the pelican): do you know our state bird? Nia: yeah, the brown pelican. me: good! do you know the state flower? Nia: that's easy too. the Mongolia. ----- (the day after tropical storm Bill 7-1) me: so what'd you do with your day off yesterday? isabelle: watched TV...and my house flood. ----- me: how do you know if a boi likes you? bayleigh: if he's mean to you. ::thinks about it:: god, bois are so *stupid*. editor's note: hah, from the mouths of babes. ----- me (watching someone in the pool flailing around and screaming): oh my god, is she okay?!? Nia: it's okay, Ms. Laura. we're just playing "drowing swimmer". ----- Danielle: that's Kendell over there. he likes Raven. Raven call him "peanut-head". ----- Isabelle: why can't we go swimming today? me: because i ate the swimming pool. isabelle: nuh-uh, then why aren't you fat and...shaped like a swimming pool? Danielle: because she's not a *cartoon character* maybe? ----- Kelsi: my mom doesn't want me to have his new CD. i *would* get my grandma to buy it for me and hide it in my room, but my mom searches my room every two weeks. me: searches your room?? what is she looking for? kelsi: ::shrugs:: her stuff. ----- (Friday, me leaving sick.) me: ok, i'm going home because i don't feel good. isabelle:i don't feel good either, can i come with you? me: no, baby. i'm sorry. i'll see you on monday. isabelle: but, uh....it *is* monday!! me: nice try. ----- me (mid-conversation with Teri): i miss my grandmother. she used to make the best homecooked meals. and we'd all sit around the table and she'd serve spaghetti and meatballs and we'd have bread-crumbed colliflower and stuffed artichoke and all kinds of great italian foods and it was so great. and afterwards we'd be too stuffed to move. she was a wonderful cook, i miss her so much. Katherine (staring at me, blankly.): my uncle is allergic to cornsyrup, milk, and cheese. ----- (the day Piper shows up after being gone for like, two weeks.) Angela Trotter: man, we thought Piper fell off th' boat f'real, y'all... ----- Tia: can you tie this skate for me? me: sure. Tia: oh, but first you have to untie the three or four double knots i accidentally got in it. ----- Sarine: you got ten seconds to put my cards down, girl. one...two...thr-- i mean...ten...nine...eight... ----- Kaya: there was this girl in my class who thought 0+0=1. Angela Causey: hah, that's so dumb, jeez, 0+0 is 0, duh. wait, no...::thinks:: no it's...wait...no, yeah, it's 0. ----- me: if i were to babysit for you, what would you want to do? isabelle: ::gasp:: go to PJ's!!! ----- isabelle: my dad lives on Camp Street. i don't know why they call it that though. it's not like anyone ever camps out there. ----- kelsi: can i buy one of your necklaces for five dollars? me: i really don't think it's such a good idea for me to sell you guys these things. coach might not like that. kelsi: alright, that's cool. ::whispers:: meet me on the playground after camp. you bring the necklace, and i'll bring the five dollars. ----- me (sings the little hand game to anna): anna banana, play the piano, do the banana split, one, two. anna: actually, i can't do a split. and i can't play the piano either. and actually, come to think of it, i don't even really like bananas. ----- (a letter i got on the last day of camp.) roses are red violets are blue i will miss yall when camp is over. love, Katherine <3 ----- isabelle: laura's really good at punch-buggy. her eyes must be punch-buggy shaped. ----- danielle: oh my god, i LOVE Aladdin. kevana: ooooo...angela and Aladdin, sittin' on a...majic carpet. k-i-s-s-i-n-g. ----- Daniel (a boi counselor): bois are better than girls. all the girls in my group: NUH-UH- GIRLS ARE SOOO MUCH BETTER THAN BOIS, AND THEY'RE PRETTIER, TOO. AND **SMARTER** AND NICER THAN BOIS, BOIS ARE *STUPID*. etc, etc. Isabelle (to herself, but i happened to overhear): if bois are so much better than girls, then why do you have to wear velcro shoes? ...can't you tie shoe laces? ----- |
| Summer 'o3 i was a camp counsilor for De La Salle. i had thirty 8-10 year old girls in my group and they were super shibby cool. they kept me well entertained. one or two days toward the end i brought a piece of scratch paper to camp to record the things they said. |
| me: hey, shaina, do you remember my name? shaina (allie's little sister): um, uh....uh... Sam (allie's little brother): it's 'Laura'! Shaina: oh, LAURA! allie: ah, now what's her last name? Shaina: oh, um...Dar...pistachio? Me: wow...actually, that's surprisingly close! ----- (Shaina's 4 year old friend): i have to give my dad red hair in school because we don't have a grey crayon. me: oh, wow, i'm sure he appreciates that. ----- Joe (my little cousin): are you still married to that guy? me: ...what guy? Joe (a little quieter): with the glasses...? me: Harry Macaffee?!? |
| Random little kids quotes...::shrugs:: |