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January 1st, 2006

Leap second met with worldwide street riots

When in the last few days people began to discover that one minute this year will be 61 seconds long (that's a whole second longer than usual) looting began in every single major city in the world.

"It's horrible! They're being slaughtered as we speak! Living creatures, murdered by the dozens! Meat and Flesh and Blood all over the...no wait that's just the local fast-food branch" said bob as his stomach began to growl and he went to get himself a burger. Broken windows, stolen furniture, homeless people with wallets, kids with flat-screen TV's and football players with computers were just a small part of a typical scene this new year's eve.


This highly graphic photograph captures the street violence

Shocked spectators at times square watched as the famous crystal ball was stormed, deconstructed, and taken to local hardware stores for retail. At the end of the countdown millions of viewers at home were greeted by the lit-up digits "006". There are currently no reports as to exactly what happened to the missing "2". Back in California, There have been reports of stolen breast implants, carved straight out of their owners. Current death toll: 1019, now it's 1024, now it's 1033. It can only be said that when you warp people's perception of time, expect chaos.


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