TO
ERIC'S WORLD
"A pessimist can always see the bright side of beating the bejesus out of an optimist."
- Me
Hello everyone. Welcome to my web page. Come in and enjoy yourselves, but behave because I don't tolerate any shenanigans. If you are a shenanigan, you will have to leave.
I've recently redesigned the page so for my loyal visitors, check out the new design. For those of you who are new to this site, feel free to look around and be sure to see it all. Just like Disney theme parks, you may not be able to see it all in one visit, but keep coming back until you do.
DIXIE
1995-2006
A true friend is gone.
PICTURES
I have lots of pictures to share. Many are of me (my favorite subject) and then I have pics of my kids, pets, and friends. Feel free to comment on any you find objectionable. I tried to limit the nudes as much as possible. What can I say? I'm too sexy for my website. Click on a pic below and it will take you to my albums.
Retirement (June 2006) - An era has come to an end. After 21 years, 6 months, and 25 days, I retired from active duty with the United States Air Force.
Florida Trip (June 2006) - We took a trip down the ol' homestead so Michele could meet the rest of the Goolsby clan. There were three generations of my family at this event not to mention all the kids. Oh my stars and garters! There was an empty Walmart in Florida on that day.
Las Vegas (February 2006) - Went to Las Vegas to get married. Wow. That place is really happening! They say the city never sleeps, but that is not entirely true. The buffets close at 11 P.M. Had a wonderful time and while I am glad to be home, a part of me will always remain in Vegas. Which part? Probably my wallet.
Christmas (December 2005) - We had a really nice Christmas at home and Santa was good to all of us. Robert got his MP3 player so he can play a "shitload of music". Michele got seasons two and three of "Charmed", and I got a great set of poker chips. (poker? I don't even know her) Hope everyone's holiday season was good to them. Happy New Year!
Rolling Hills Animal Refuge (November 2005) - Michele and I went to this refuge (okay, face it, its a zoo) located near Salina, Kansas. They had a large array of animals (the wolves were outstanding), but they were in cages with lots of bars so it was hard to get good photos. It was a bad time of year to go though since the chill made a lot of the wimpier animals go inside. Michele almost got us thrown out of the place when she threw a stick at the wolves (who were sleeping) and it actually hit one of the wolves. The wolf bolted awake and I could see him contemplating ways to get through the bars and eat us. I told Michele to start running and she pointed out that I could never outrun a wolf. I reminded her I just had to outrun her.
Telephony Museum (November 2005) - Following our trip to the "refuge", we stopped by this museum. It had every conceivable type of phone you could imagine. Some I remember from my childhood and some were before my time. It really is amazing how our technology has advance so much in just a little over 100 years. Imagine going back in time and giving Alexander Bell a cell phone. Simply amazing.
Household Renovations (September & November 2005) - Been doing some renovations around the house. Tiled the walls in the kitchen and replaced the coutertops. The original countertops were piss yellow formica. As a stopgap measure I had covered them in white contact paper (trashy, I know), but have now replaced them. I still need to replace the sink, sink counter and tile the wall behind the sink, but that will happen soon enough. The concrete retaining wall was put in Thanksgiving week to replace the one made of rotted out railroad ties. It was falling over and in dire need of replacement. Think it turned out quite nice.
Field Training (October 2005) - At least twice a year we got to Smoky Hill Air National Gar Range near Salina, Kansas to practice field skills like hygiene, terrain navigation, field-stripping your bedmate, and how to start wildfires. We were learning how to fire off smoke flares, when one of them landed in the dry grass and set it on fire. Hilarity and fun ensued as everyone pitched in to put out the fire.
Joplin, MO (July 2005) - Over Fourth of July weekend we went to Joplin, MO for the Region 8 Track and Field Championships. Robert took first place in both the discus and shot put events. Afterwards, we visited the site of the real first battle of the Civil War (take that Fort Sumter!).
Change of Command (Jun 2005) - Here are some photos from my squadron's change of command. Lt Col Iversen assumed command from Lt Col Bednarek. I got to MC the event and as usual, I looked spiffy in my blues. Okay, I look like a sausage squeezed into that uniform. Apparently it has shrunk since I bought it 6 years ago. LOL.
Graduation Day (May/Jun 2005) - Whew! My offspring have finally stopped tormenting the school boards of Florida and Kansas. No truth to the rumor that the aforementioned school boards sent me a note asking me not to have any more kids.
Christmas (Dec 2004) - Very merry holidays. Not exactly the Brady Bunch, but we are melding together quite well, me thinks.
Kansas City (July 2004) - Met up with my friends Mike D. and Mike P. Their last names are being withheld pending notification of their next of kin.
Thanksgiving (2003) - Three generations of my family in one place. There must be a Walmart empty somewhere.
Kuwait (Jun 2002) Its amazing how much you appreciate air conditioning when its 120 freaking degrees all the time!
Gettysburg (May 2002) While on my way to Kuwait, I stopped in Baltimore for a few days. I decided to visit the Mecca of Civil War battlefields.
STRAIGHT THOUGHTS FROM A BENT MIND
"Man's greatest creation is god."
- Me
Sometimes my mind wanders and I come up with some really crazy ideas. My psychiatrist suggested I put them down on paper. I call them "Straight Thoughts from a Bent Mind." Please peruse some of my latest musings by clicking on the link below. Then send me an email with your thoughts by clicking the inkwell.
Straight Thoughts 115, (Coming Soon) Straight Thoughts 114, 30 Jun 06
Straight Thoughts 113, 30 Apr 06 Straight Thoughts 112, 31 Mar 06
Straight Thoughts 111, 31 Jan 06 Straight Thoughts 110, 31 Dec 05
Straight Thoughts 109, 30 Nov 05 Straight Thoughts 108, 31 Oct 05
Straight Thoughts 107, 30 Sep 05 Straight Thoughts 106, 31 Aug 05
Straight Thoughts 105, 31 Jul 05 Straight Thoughts 104, 30 Jun 05
Straight Thoughts 103, 31 May 05 Straight Thoughts 102, 30 Apr 05
Straight Thoughts 101, 31 Mar 05 Straight Thoughts 100, 28 Feb 05
Straight Thoughts 99, 31 Jan 05 Straight Thoughts 98, 31 Dec 04
Straight Thoughts 97, 30 Nov 04 Straight Thoughts 96, 31 Aug 04
Straight Thoughts 95, 30 Sep 04 Straight Thoughts 94, 31 Aug 04
Straight Thoughts 93, 30 Apr 04 Straight Thoughts 92, 31 Mar 04
Straight Thoughts 91, 29 Feb 04 Straight Thoughts 90, 31 Jan 04
Straight Thoughts 89, 31 Dec 03 Straight Thoughts 88, 31 Oct 03
Straight Thoughts 87, 30 Sep 03 Straight Thoughts 86, 31 Aug 03
Straight Thoughts 85, 28 Jul 03 Straight Thoughts 84, 28 Feb 03
Straight Thoughts 83, 31 Jan 03 Straight Thoughts 82, 31 Dec 02
JOURNAL
Since men do not keep "diaries", I will update this "journal" periodically.
11 Jul 06 - I graduated from college at the end of May with a degree in Public Administration and a minor in Business. Then in June, I retired from the Air Force. Its been a long strange ride. I have met some really great people and seen some far flung areas of the world that I will always treasure. How do you sum up 21 1/2 years of your life in a few sentences? I can do it in one word: AWESOME! To paraphrase the Walrus, "the time has come to talk of other things."...Michele, Robert, and I are moving to Atlanta, Georgia in a month or so. I have two childhood friends there and its closer to my family and children. I am excited to be starting a new life and a new job. Hopefully, it will be as bright and as fulfilling as the last 21 years have been. To all who have touched me, I say thank you. To all I have touched, I say, "don't tell anyone and I will buy you candy."
8 May 06 - Dixie had to be one of the best pets in the history of pets. Or at least in the history of me. She was a stray that the neighbor of a friend found back in 1995. She was only a couple months old and adorable. The neighbor had named her Bagel and it took us nearly a month to get her to answer to Dixie. The kids and I would sit at opposite ends of the room and call out "Bagel" and "Dixie" and watch the confused look on her face. She used to steal biscuits from the table and bury them in the backyard. When we had a fenced in yard, she always managed to find a way to get out no matter what ideas I came up with. When I got divorced, she stayed by my side every waking moment and seemed to sense I was upset. She always insisted on sleeping in the bed with me. She would curl up against my chest and then after a few minutes insist on getting under the covers where she would curl up to me again so we were spooning. (Yes, I know it sounds odd, but she was more human than animal). Her favorite thing was to go for rides in the car. ALL the windows had to be down so she could dart from one to the other. Her Sunday trips to the park were special too. She liked to run around and then roll in the grass. Our final trip to the park on 30 Apr 06, we just lay in the grass and enjoyed the sun. The end came rather quickly. She had developed cancer and by Friday night, she was too weak to stand and appeared to be having trouble breathing. When she started whimpering, I knew it was time. All the times she had taken care of me and watched over me, it was time for me to return the favor. The ultimate test of love is knowing when to let go. I held her in my arms as the vet put her to sleep and I cried like a baby. We had 11 great years together and now she is gone. I am sad, I miss her, but I am not depressed. I have wonderful memories of her and it would not do her justice to mourn. So long Dix, hope they have squeaky toys where you are.
4 Apr 06 - Eighty-seven days and counting left in the military. Hard to believe I have spent over half my life in the Air Force...Baseball season is upon us and for those of you who follow it, it looks like the steroid investigation may last as long as the season. Bud "Head in the Sand" Selig is the worst commissioner in sports. Only after congress threaten legal action and a book came out detailing Barry Bonds' steroid use has he finally decided to launch an investigation. I could really care less who took what or how much. Those guys could be on fish tranquilizers or bull semen for all I care. I mean most people follow the sport to be entertained. This whole "purity of the game" b.s. is so sanctimonious. I just dislike Barry Bonds because he left the Pirates back in 1993 and I would love to see his arrogant ass suspended...Every time I think I am getting old, I remember that my brother, Mark, is older. He turns 43 today.
1 Mar 06 - If engagements are funny things, then weddings are hilarious. Our day started at 0300 in Kansas as we needed to make our flight at Kansas City International Airport (a 2.5 hour drive from Manhattan). Our fight was delayed and we almost missed our connecting flight in Phoenix. Our flight into Vegas was delayed and we finally arrived in Vegas around 6 local. Michele's best friend, Jason, had secured us a room at the Las Vegas Country Club, but the gate guard did not have us on the list. After several phone calls back and forth we got it straightened out just in time to head back to the airport and pick up Jason. HIS flight was delayed as well so we didn't get back to the room until late. Michele and I then head back out to find the clerk to apply for our marriage license. Both the clerk and Michele were obviously tired and I had to keep them from coming to blows. Haha. We finally got our license and made it back to the room around 1 AM local. So in essence, we had a 22 hour day. We spent Saturday morning running around like idiots trying to find Michele panty hose and then could not find the stupid chapel. We arrived 10 minutes late, but the wedding went off without a hitch (no pun intended). The rest of the afternoon was spent walking around the Strip and trying to get acclimated to the hustle and bustle that is Vegas. Saturday night we went to one of the high end clubs but I was not permitted to go in because I was wearing sneakers. Hey, I live in the midwest. Applebees is fine dining to me. Michele and I tried to find an open buffet at 1 AM. Funny, supposedly Vegas is the town that never sleeps, but apparently the buffets do. Sunday we took a tour of the Marriott's newest resort and listened to a spiel about timesharing. There is a tram that takes you along the strip and we got off where we thought was the halfway point. It may have been "halfway" but it was actually about 5 miles back to where we parked. My feet have never hurt so much. After a quick nap back at the room, Michele and I went to a show. Lesbian vampires on ice! Just kidding. They weren't on ice. Topless lesbian vampires are kickass! While small on production values, the show was still pretty fun. Our table was right up near the stage. I think I even got booby sweat on me. Monday, we rode around the area and then had dinner at the Venetian Resort. We closed the night by visiting the Titanic exhibit which was pretty amazing. The sheer intimacy of the exhibit made me breathless. Finally, we had to leave and saying goodbye to Vegas was sad. I am sure I will see her again very soon. The old expression about "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" is only true if you didn't bring your wife with you.
6 Jan 06 - Engagements are such funny things. There never seems to be a right time to do it. No matter how well you plan or how convinced you are of the answer, there is always some trepidation involved. On New Year's Eve, Michele and I got engaged. When she hesitated with her answer for just a second, I panicked. LOL. It was more of a split second, but it felt like eternity. Anyhow, we are thinking of an April wedding and hopefully the rest of the year will go just as smooth. I graduate in June, retire in August, and then have to figure out what to do with the rest of my life.
16 Nov 05 - Kids, Part II. Is there a reason I didn't just leave my kids in a tissue on a park bench? In May, my daughter returned to live with me. By October, she was back in Florida at her mom's along with my son. Both kids seem to think I am too hard on them. I guess enforcing rules and asking them to make something of themselves is asking too much. Plus, I got the added bonus of getting cussed out by my ex-wife because I asked her, politely, to force the kids to accept responsibility. Guess I should have consider who I was asking. Sort of like asking the blind to lead the blind. Oh, I really do love my ex-wife...and for $25, you can too.
28 Sep 05 - Kids. Can't live with 'em, can't bury 'em in the backyard, dog keeps digging them up. My son is in Florida visiting his mother (he returns tomorrow) and he hates me. I guess I am not the first parent who ever had a child say that to them, but it still hurts. If you cut me, do I not bleed? I remember how much I hated my parents for being strict with me, but it helped me become the wonderful person I am today. Stop laughing. I used to think the purpose of children was to continue the family name, but I was wrong. The only purpose of children is so your parents can laugh at you when you complain about how misbehaved your own kids are. I can't tell my dad anything about my son without him saying, "ha, just like his father." How is this helpful? My son punched a hole in the wall in a fit of anger and my dad's response to this was, "remember the time you..." Where is the compassion? Where is the sympathy? I hope my dad's butt crack grows together...On the lighter side, I am only 5 classes from graduation. By 1 June 06, I will have my bachelor's degree and by 1 August I will be a civilian again. Yea! No more bullshit military horsepucky. I really loathe people having no ability to think beyond the moment and performing crisis management rather than preventive maintenance. I am sure its that way in the civilian world too, but at least I can seek management positions so stupid people are not in charge just because they have more rank than me. I don't know how many times I've wanted to tell superiors, "Put down the decision and step away from the process." In the military rank does not equate to common sense...Only 276 days until I depart this popsicle stand!
14 Jun 05 - Hello all. Sorry I have not posted anything in a while. Been rather busy with school, love, and softball...not necessarily in that order. Once again, my daughter has seen fit to make me gray and/or bald. As you loyal vistors remember, she wanted to come back to Kansas, then changed her mind and decided to attend college in Florida. Wellllllll, now she is back in Kansas and will be attending college in podunk Great Bend. Yes, I decided to find the most remote, out of the way, small-town college in Kansas (which was not really that hard) for her to attend. The campus is surrounded by cow pastures ("the smell of money," as my girlfriend likes to tell me.) I am hoping being locked up in this remote location will settle her down. Then again, when there is nothing to do, that is when teens get in the most trouble. As John Steinbeck once wrote, "the best laid plans of mice and men will sometimes go asunder." My luck she comes home pregnant after the first semester.
20 Apr 05 - Sometimes I wonder why I had children. My daughter, who has twice flown the coop, had asked to come back. A week later, she calls me to tell me she has decided to attend college in North Florida instead. Jeez. Her mind is like the weather: it changes from hour to hour. Don't give me any of this crap about its a woman's right to change her mind. That is total B.S. Women just can't EVER make up their minds about ANYthing. That is why a woman will never be president. You have to be decisive and assured. Imagine, if you will, an attack by the Marauding Mexicans from down south. They have crossed the border en masse and a decisive retaliation is in order. President Martha Stewart sits before the red phone and can't decide whether to make the call to launch our missiles and turn Mexico into one big steamy enchilada, to wait and see if the Mexicans are just looking for jobs, or request the red phone be replaced with something more aesthetically pleasing. Meanwhile, Pedro and 1,000 of his friends make like Pancho Villa and take over the entire Southwest...Okay, I admit I have some female-directed anger issues to work out. I wiped out my computer's hard drive the other night and lost all my files. I am constantly amazed at how much we rely on technology. On the lighter side, I received an 87% on my Business Law test and 100% on two law briefs I wrote.
6 Feb 05 - Another birthday come and gone. I find it hard to believe I just turned 39. I don't feel middle aged, but then again who ever does. Since people are living longer than they used to, shouldn't middle age be officially moved up to 45 or something? We have no idea when we are going to die so its silly to worry about being "over the hill." I think the only true measure of when you are "over the hill" is when your testicles are touching water while you sit on the toilet. At that point, it might be time to pack it in.
5 Jan 05 - The end of 2004 was a bittersweet one. My son gets suspended from school for writing a certain four-letter word on his jeans, my car breaks down, and then my puppy, Token, gets hit by a car. Its amazing how attached you get to something as dumb and lovable as a dog. She ate everything in the house from the kitchen linoleum to the carpets to my shoes. However, for some reason, I couldn't help but love that adorable little face when she rested it on my chest at night. As if to say, "Aren't I cute?" I went in with her as they euthanized her and it was one of the most gut wrenching experiences I have ever had. I only had 10 months with her, but she found a way into my heart. I have no clue how devastated I will be when I have to put Dixie down. She has been with me for 10 years now and she is like a third child. Too bad you can't euthanize ex's. However, on the bright side, I did get to spend Xmas and New Year's with my new girlfriend, Michele. She is so lovely and sweet. She made up for the bad week I was having. Two thousand and five started out with a bang.
6 Oct 04 - Watched the vice presidential debates last night. I don't know about you, but it sure seemed to me that the Democrats avoid questions like Mary Kate avoids an all-you-can-eat buffet. Senator Edwards was asked twice if the Democrats would have left Saddam in power and both times he ignored the question and went back to bitching about the US not finding weapons of mass destruction. Let me say this yet again, Saddam HAD biological weapons. He used them on the Kurds in Northern Iraq back in the late 1980s. Just because we can't find them, does not mean he hasn't had them or won't try to get them again...for those who are curious, I finished 5th in fantasy baseball. I made the playoffs but lost in the first round. Oh well. Football season has started and I am already 4-0. Thank god I didn't draft Ricky Williams.
30 Aug 04 - Hi ya'll. Its been almost 4 months since I wrote. Don't have much to say, but figured I would update everyone. I am struggling in my fantasy baseball league, but making a late push for the playoffs. I am in 7th place, but I am only 1/2 game out of 6th place and the playoffs. I was 14 games out of 6th place two weeks ago, but I have been on fire since, winning 21 of 26 games since then. I know that sounds like a geeky thing to be excited about, but that's the life of a single dad. LOL. I saw a sign on a gas pump the other day that said, "Pay at the pump 24 hours a day. Pay cashier after dark." Am I missing something?...I have a question for the Democrats, "How many Americans have died on American soil due to terrorism since the start of the war? It stars with a "Z" and ends in "ero".
8 May 04 - Haven't written in a while so I thought I would update everyone. Despite my greatest efforts to keep her secure in the castle tower, my daughter has managed to escape the Stalag I was running. (You should start humming the theme from the Great Escape for the rest of this narrative) Utilizing a spoon and her nail clippers, she tunneled out through her closet and into the duct work. She slathered herself in Bath & Body Works' vanilla-scented body lotion and slithered her way along inside the duct work until she was over the garage. She then used her car keys to cut a whole in the duct work and slip down into the garage. After removing a pane of glass from the garage door with her diamond earrings, she slid through and was gone. I have notified Colonel Klink and Sergeant Schultz. We will track her down and find her. I am part German, we are good at this. As Colonel Klink would say, "Hoooogan!"
31 Mar 04 - My reputation at work is growing. Apparently, the rumor is out that I am dating a stripper. Hmmm. What do they know that I don't? Not much else is happening so I guess have a rumored social life is better than none at all. LOL...Once again back in school. Why do I do this to myself?
13 Mar 04 - Just completed my Statistics class with an A. I hate math but I love classes like Accounting and Statistics. Bumped up my GPA to 3.73, whoohoo!...Just got a new cell phone. Is there a bigger scam than cell phone accessories? If I buy a new phone, I have to buy all the accessories to go with it (i.e., car charger, ear phone, belt clip). Shouldn't a company like Sprint have universal accessories for all their phones?...John Kerry has won the Democratic bid for president. Damn, I'll bet Saddam is wishing he had stayed hidden for just a few more months so the Dems would pull out of Iraq and let him go back to killing. By the way Mr. Kerry, Bin Laden is already in US hands. He will be "captured" just before the November elections. So I suggest you either find Jimmy Hoffa's body or start asking Al Gore for career tips.
7 Feb 04 - Wow, I turned 38 on Monday and it feels just like when I was 37. Not sure if I am just trying to convince myself I am not getting older, but I seem to be busier now than ever before. I am going to school, studying, playing basketball, and working. Perhaps I am having a mid-life crisis. The only thing missing is a girlfriend who is the same age as my daughter. Any 18-year olds looking for a sugar daddy, drop me a line...snow officially sucks in my book. Over 12 inches of that white crap. At least I have kids to shovel the driveway for me. They may have outlawed slavery, but having children is still legal.
24 Jan 04 - We have a new member of the family arrive today. Token is a miniature lab puppy. She is four months old and adorable as hell. She will make a nice addition to the family. She is very shy as I had to chase her all over the house just to get the one pic of her above. Unlike her sister Dixie, she does not seem to enjoy the limelight yet. Everyone seems to be accepting her just fine except Universe. Universe is a very discerning kitty and does not give her affections easily. It will take time for Token to win her over. Stay tuned.
9 Jan 04 - Happy New Year everyone! I cannot believe its already 2004...My daughter has moved back home to live with me again. She is such a joy (cough, cough) and I missed her terribly. She has already started draining my bank account. I thought I solved that problem when I got divorced. Haha...My 20-year high school reunion is in June. Have I really been out of school that long? I doubt I am going to the reunion. I mean what's the point? If you didn't keep in contact with these people for the last 20 years, why do you want to see them now? If you DID keep in contact with them, then you don't need to reunite with them. Seems about as pointless as funerals to me. Funerals are for the people who are still alive, not the person who is dead. So why do we bother with ornate coffins and caskets? You are going to throw dirt on it anyway. You think the deceased person cares if their coffin is lined with silk or cotton?
30 Oct 03 - Lost two jobs today. First I get voted out as booster club treasurer and then I have to hand over the Resource Manager's job for my office. Ungrateful weasels got tired of my bulldog techniques for guarding unit resources. I fixed both programs when they were in shambles and now I am shown the door. I feel like Wyatt Earp cleaning up the town and then being fired for being too pugnacious once the threat is missing. All great heroes are not appreciated in their time. In 50 years, movies, plays, and songs will be written about me. Yippee ki yea!
23 Oct 03 - I have just created this webpage. I know its simplistic and corny but its my first try so cut me some slack...I also began an Astronomy class this week and I am fascinated by the stars now. We are not alone...I finally finished the poker table I was building. Looks awesome. Only took a month. I might actually have a talent for this kind of thing...Children: can't live with them, can't flush them down the toilet.
