The Scratches- The little unknown band from rural Sweden has made its comeback under its new name. Their new single “Oh gosh I scratched and now blood is pouring all over the place”, is simply awesome showing a new blend of harmonics played only on asthma inhalers. Under their old name ‘The Scratches’ the band had only one hit* single ‘Our lead singer has eczema’.

*10 copies sold worldwide.

George’s happy band of 3-legged Spanish goats-Contrary to unpopular belief* 3 legged Spanish goats can not play musical instruments, you know, with their little hoofs and all.. Yea, so their debut single ‘Silence of the goats’ was kinda boring....Wonder why....

*George’s

The Kitchen implements- Trying to remake the classic song ‘Whip it’ has definitely not worked out well for this band of aging daytime television stars. Their interpretation of the lyrics has left audiences stunned.

“When a pancake comes along, you must FLIP IT

*flipping noise*

With a spatula.”

We hope the ‘Days of their lives ‘are numbered because their promised new single ‘Potato Mash’ would be better staying as a graveyard smash.

Annoying Pathetic Teenage Girls- This stupid little trio smells like teen spirit but not in a cool Nirvana kinda way. This is the kind of teen spirit that hangs around in stores that only girls under 7 should really shop at. And it stinks. Their new single ‘Haha, she said puberty’ promises to deliver all the high-pitched squawking and giggling that has nauseated non-clonish audiences world-wide for decades. With their 7th cd ‘I still play with barbies’ hitting the shelves this week one thing can be certain, this cd will not contain any controversial lyrics for fear of people actually developing their own opinion on a subject.

Hey look, a moose!- Has released their new cd titled ‘Sorry, this is a blank cd, too busy looking at a moose to write music. For some reason it is strangely reminiscent of George’s band of 3 legged Spanish Goats minus the bleating.

The Optometrists – This classic group is making a comeback this season with ‘I can see clearly now, my prescription lenses have been replaced.’ This song- an optimistic remake of the original, looks set to make a spectacle of this dull eyed band.

Rating 10/20

Aubergine 7.5- Yes that’s right, yet another crappy (all male) band named after a colour that really only females know about and the number of people in the said band. How very original. Their new single ‘This Dove’ has extremely touchng lyrics such as,

“This dove is making a toll call,

She said goodbye, but they talked for another freakin hour...”