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<Cue overly dramatic music>

The Conspiracy behind the Easter Bunny, Santa and the Tooth Fairy.

You know that character that gives you things?  The one with the big ears (and no, I’m not talking about a certain boy from my Science Class last year).  I’m talking about the Easter Bunny dammit (hence, the title:  The conspiracy behind the Easter Bunny, Santa and the Tooth Fairy).  You may think he look cute, cuddly and how could there be a conspiracy behind those big bunny eyes?  However!  This ‘cuddly bunny’ is actually Michael Jackson’s partner in crime!  That’s right boys and girls – the Easter Bunny is after YOU!  My theory is, Michael goes after the boys and the Easter Bunny is after the girls.  Why else would he be such a girly colour?  It’s all about the image baby!  So don’t eat anything from the Easter Bunny!  Or Michael Jackson for that matter… because it may be drugged… Or even worse… it may make you FAT!

He may look like a cute little bunny

You may even think he’s funny

But I know something you all don’t

And I wont (yes I will) tell you…

HEEEES Michael Jackson’s partner in crime

Can’t someone tell him it’s not the time?

So watch out kids!  Hold on to your panties boys!

Can anyone here make some noise?

Be wary of big plastic men who offer you toys!

If a guy has no nose

Don’t be one of his hoes

Or u might have to act in one of his "shows"

He’s spent all his money

Wrecking his face

His nose ran away

And you'll take its place!

He used to be black

And now he’s white

He’s the sort of guy

That would give you the biggest fright

(In the middle of the night)

The Easter bunny isn’t to different

He’s just as queer

If he don’t hold onto his pants

You’ll run away in fear

Don’t be fooled by his disguise

Never trust those bunny eyes

Watch out! Your egg! It may be spiked!

A chocolate egg you may have liked!

They’re out to get you,

Bunny and MJ

They want you, bad,

Coz MJ’s gay!

And if u were caught alone

With the weird couple

You might find yourself

In a lot of trouble

Threesomes can be fun...

But not in this case, you better run!

Santa.  We all know the one.  Big… fat… jolly.  Have you ever wondered how he could be so fat, yet still fit down everyone’s chimneys?  Here at DOTD we have the answer!  Santa is, in fact, an ex-convict of the Louisiana State Prison (can’t trust those bloody Americans!) who was done for robbery of turnips and Louisiana State Prison soap bars.  When he escaped he was the skinniest little nobody in the prison.  So, as a disguise, he started bought a fat sumo wrestling suit from Japan, however, the only thing he could find big enough to cover it was these massive red robes that had been sent over from The Warehouse.  So it was either that or his fat suit hanging out for the whole of Japan and the Louisiana State to see.

Obviously, he picked the suit.

Since he cannot afford to waste time dwaddling (hehe I said dwaddling) around taking his suit off before entering a chimney and then putting it back on again, he simply uses his previous breaking and entering skills to break in and enter your house.  So next time you see Santa in a mall… shoot the bastard!

You know how you put a tooth under your pillow and then when you wake up it’s a 50c piece?  Well, have you ever wondered what the hell the Tooth Fairy does with them???  Yet again… DOTD have the answers.  You see, you’re helping the Tooth Fairy in her master plan… to have the whole world under her Voodoo Spell.  Every tooth you give her lets her control the tooth that grows back, but she needs all the teeth for it to work.  This is why when you get old, your teeth fall out… because she has collected every single one of your baby teeth and is in her lair underneath the Louisiana State Prison (her and Santa are tight!).  So don’t be fooled!  Let your teeth rot in a special case in your knickers drawer!  If she still manages to find your molars… for some of you, the smell well repel her anyway.