[ Dwelling Of The Doorknobs ]
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| The First Ever DOTD Competition |
And you, Yes you the reader at home can enter! Woot!
All you have to do is take photos of you completing as many of these activities as you can and send them here along with $1,000,000 (just kidding) and a story on why you should win this competition.
Conditions of Entry:
1. If anyone sends us porn we will not only delete it instantly but we will hunt you down and kill you with our bare hands and then drop you off in Czechoslovakia. Yes, we can spell it correctly.
2. Owing to the fact that we have no freakin idea what your prize will be you will accept it graciously and will not complain when/ if you win.
3. If you do complain we will once again hunt you down and kill you with our bare hands. And that will not be a pleasant experience for any of the parties involved. Except for us.
4. We take no responsibility for deaths, murders, arrestations, loss of money or friends that may result from the completion of these tasks. It’s your own stupid fault dumbass.
5. Points will only be given once for the same task and we will choose the funniest one to score. However if all of them are very funny we shall give out bonus points.
N.B. Please let us know when sending in your entries if we have permission to show the pictures on the site. We will not put your name up (sorry, you aren’t special enough to be famous), but we want to show the winning photos for everyone to laugh at. If you do not want your photos on the website, this will not decrease your chance of winning… maybe.
Tasks
Complete as many of these as you can in the next two weeks. Points will be awarded for the difficulty of the task and the staff of DOTD will also give a score out of 10 for creativity to be added onto your total. The number in the brackets indicates the score (excluding bonus points) you will get for completing this task.
1. Sleeping on a roundabout (2). Bonus points for sleeping bags, tents and campfires.
2. Tackling someone (2). Bonus points are given if they are wearing a uniform or pushing a pram. We advise asking permission before undertaking this task.
3. Swimming in a fountain (4). Bonus points if the swimmer is wearing a wet suit and snorkel and/ or if they are bathing in the fountain (clothes please) rubber duckies, shower cap, soap and all.
4. Hugging someone (1).
5. Hugging a security guard (2).
6. Hugging one of those lame people in the big animal suits (7).
7. Cleaning the toilet (6). Bonus points if the toilet shows signs of recent use.
8. A P.G. PDA* (5). Bonus points if it is with a lame animal suit person or a security guard.
9. PG PDA* with a pet (8). Bonus points if the pet looks like you. (PG = Nothing dodgy and inappropriate, refer to cond. of entry #1)
10. Eating a book (4). Bonus points depending on how much of the book has already been gnawed off. More bonus points will be given if the title of the book is funny or you are the author.
11. One word: Man-Nappy, interpret it as you wish (4 if you are wearing it, 8 if you are wearing it in public, 15 if you get a whole group of people are wearing one each, 25 if a whole big group is wearing the same GIANT man-nappy in public, other ’s however we decide it is worth).
12. Sitting inside a chest freezer wearing only your underwear (7.5). Bonus if the freezer is still full of meat and ice-cream.
13. Riding a bicycle along the road with at least three people on it (6). 2 bonus points for every additional person. More bonus points if you are all in costume. Negative points if it is one of those silly tandem bicycles. Even more bonus points if you are going down a hill at breakneck speeds.
14. Bird-watching (2). Bonus if you are in camouflage with the whole bird watching outfit.
15. Wearing a dress made out of paper in public (6).
16. Making friends with a hobo (5).
17. Painting a fence (3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067, No that wasn’t nerdy....of course that wasn’t the first hundred and two digits of pi...).
18. Eating paint (8).
19. Setting a body part (excluding genitals) on fire (15). Bonus if you are in a public place.
20. Having a picnic (2). Bonus if there are lots of teddy bears.
*P.D.A = Public Display of Affection