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| 101 Super Cool Uses for Paper Barf Bags |
101 super cool uses for paper Barf bags
Bored on that long airplane flight? Would you rather gnaw off your own leg instead of spending another minute bored out of your mind listening to some old lady talk about the perils of having a bathroom without a bath-mat? Or worse trying to get some in-flight entertainment from the incredibly dull Air New Zealand magazine (seriously who writes that crap? NZ's best light houses and so on) while a baby bawls its eyes out? Thought so....Well never fear I am here to rescue you from the clutches of evil and tedious conversations with old ladies and flight attendants. Armed only with my collection of sick bags and incredible brain power I will rid the world of all in-flight boredom and throw in a few catchy and hummable tunes....just kidding about the tunes...You can't have everything.
1. This may be the oldest trick in the book but it is always fun to blow up the bag and pop it in that old ladies ear. N.B. Make sure the bag is EMPTY first as we do not take any responsibility for vomit covered old ladies.
2. Write letters on them and put them back in the seat pocket in-front of you. This way not only will you be entertaining yourself but you will entertain future generations of bored patrons. Or you just get to make more work for the cleaner people when they have to change them round, either way is good. And any way you will always have that fantasy where you meet up with someone who read your barf-bag 20 years ago and you will fall instantly in love. Nope no-one else has that fantasy? Just me? Ok I will just go back to my little corner.
3. Make a pet out of it.
4. Go up to random strangers, give them the barf-bag and a pen and say in a sweet , little kids voice, "Mr" (or Mrs, it doesn't really matter which because it will only add to the entertainment factor if you get it wrong) "can you sign my barf-bag?"
5. Try to give your neighbor paper cuts without them noticing...really difficult.
6. Puke into it dumbass.
7. Drop them on the floor so the air hostess slips over. Banana skin styles. Woohoo.
8. One word: Origami.
9. Make horrible barfing noises then look into your bag and exclaim, "Oh look, corn!"
10. Lecture your neighbor on the importance of barf-bags in everyday life taking care to gesticulate wildly to give the impression of drunkenness.
11. Make more horrible barfing noises then look into the bag with an expression of concern and say, "got enough air in there?"
12. Press the buzzer then when the hostess comes put on a thick Swedish accent and say, "I du nut understund zee cuncept ooff zeese-a berffeeng begs.Pleese-a ixpleeen". Then if he/she laughs or smirks just a little bit exclaim, "Nefer hefe-a I seee sooch insulence-a. Let me-a ooffff thees feheecle-a immedeeetely!
13. Pretend to hyperventilate into the bag then when you get some concerned looks say, "Oh don't worry I do this often when I am going cold-turkey on the human flesh I love so much".
14. Cut holes for eyes and a mouth to make a rather attractive mask. You'll have to rip it as the airplane will not allow scissors for fear of terrorists. They're being mutated into over-protective parents. As if you'd run with scissors on a plane...
15. Put on the mask and look round saying, "No Luke, I am your father". Or for a slightly more entertaining version learn all the air hostess's names and (with the mask) shout, "No (insert name here), I am your father!"
16. Pour your coffee, tea or other hot beverage into the bag and drink it from there.
17. Get up, go to the toilet and fill the bag with water. Then when you come out exclaim loudly, "Yep, gotta take this into the lab for testing." Act as if continuing a conversation with the person next to you.
18. Barf in the bag. Then go up to some random guy and say, "Sir, I think you may have forgotten this." If he says its not his keep insisting on it saying, "Its got your name tag on it, don't deny it".
19. Look at your neighbors bags then yell, "Its not fair why does he/she get the better ones?" Then lapse into a series of incoherent mutterings occasionally throwing in sentences like, "It's not like he knows how to use them properly", and giving your neighbor dirty looks.
20. Look in your bag then exclaim, "Its not fair! Mines been used already."
21. Hold lengthy conversations with your barf-bag. Treat it like a human.
22. Share your in-flight meal with your pet barf-bag. In fact give it the whole thing. It will end up there anyway owing to the fact that it tastes like crap.
23. Or just eat the bag. That way your meal and your bag can be together in heaven. Altogether now Awwwwwwww...
24. Even better, eat the bag then scream, "It's like there is a party in my mouth and everyone's invited." Or some other horrible cliché.
25. Even better, eat the bag, scream, "It's like there is a party in my mouth and everyone's invited." And then go round the plane asking if you can have their bags for a snack.
26. Get the bag and make it into a very fashionable hat.
27. Get the bag and make it into a very fashionable hat. Put it on and sit with your eyes shut tightly chanting, "I am The Pope." If anyone tries to talk to you simply start chanting louder and louder.
28. Always refer to the bag as a person. E.g. Your neighbour- "Why are you talking to that paper bag? Retard!"
You- "The bag does not appreciate you referring to his friends in that manner especially since his friend is way cooler than you and used to be a pro-wrestler."
29. Turn on your reading light. Use a magnifying glass (or your neighbor spectacles) to set your bag on fire.
30. Turn on your reading light. Use a magnifying glass (or your neighbor spectacles) to set your bag on fire. Then roast some marshmallows and sing Kumbaya to your hearts content.
31. Stare at your neighbour until they look back. Then put on a mystical voice and say "you will need this" while handing them a barf bag.
32. Grab as many barf bags as possible from the toilet. Then when you get bored, fashion clothes out of them.
33. Or, if you get really, really bored, fashion clothes out of them for your neigbour while they sleep.
34. See how much free coke a barf bag can hold until it bursts. When it looks on the verge of popping, scream "its gonna blow!!!!!"
35. Strangle someone. We so did not tell you to do that. Don't blame your actions on us when you get sued for every cent you're worth.
36. Paper dolls. They rock. Hehe.
37. Use it to make a sign that states: 'The resident of this seat requests that you do NOT talk to him/her (depending on whether you are male or female... if you can't decide, "transvestite" will work)... under pain of death.' Then sit staring straight ahead for the rest of the flight... stay there even when the plane is ready for landing... when the seatbelt light goes on and when the captain announces that you have landed safely (or crashed and burned, either way)... when everyone has gone stay sitting there for as long as it takes until the get security to escort you off the premises... not only will this be fun, but it will really worry the people waiting for you inside the terminal... unless you have no friends. Shame.
38. While staring blankly, you could have a random seizure or a sudden fit of laughter/screaming/both. Hehe.
40. Paper barf bag mache your neighbour's face while they sleep, so that when they wake up they'll start screaming "ahh, I'm blind" and you'll be all "hahahahaha paper mache!"
41. Put a smoke bomb in the bag and give it to your neighbour whispering "Please pass this to the guy in the green sweater." Time it so that smoke starts appearing as soon as you've let go.
| EDIT [ 7DayCrisis ] --- Haha, shame. I have chocolate cake and you retards don't. In your face, sucker. |
42. Draw on it with the pretty coloured pencils you get in the Kiddy Packs and say "Shame [ 7DayCrisis ] I got a Chocolate Cake TOO!"
43. Light it on fire and laugh evilly when the flights attendants start panicking. You pyromaniac, you.
44. Even better... light it on fire and blame your neighbour...
45. See how many paper bags you can collect... then make a big bonfire. Or you could just put them all back. How crazy are you feeling?
46. Write a hidden message hinting that there is secret treasure somewhere on the plane. Then tear it up and deposit a piece in each paper barf bag on the plane. Some idiot is going to annoy a LOT of people some day in the near future...
47. Make a puzzle. Heh. Running out of time to cut out all those pieces with the plastic fork, aren't ya?!
48. Create a curtain for the plane window. Man... that's not budget...
49. Try and make it into a big circle. Hehe... have fun on that one.
50. Convince your neighbour to fold it in half 9 times.
51. Make it more interesting by offering $50 on completion. No, YOUR $50, not ours! Haha shame, they can't do it.
52. Big towers. Big towers are goooooooooooooooood...
53. Roll it up and hit [ Prototype ] with it.
54. Roll another one up and hit [ Prototype ] back. He shouldn't have hit you back in the first place.
55. Scrunch 'em up and have a big snowball fight. Yeah, okay, so you're having a snowball fight alone. It's not like you'll ever see the people staring at you like you're a crazy maniac ever again.
56. Rip 'em up into confetti and sprinkle them everywhere singing "it's snowing, it's snowing!"
57. Rip 'em up into confetti and colour them in pretty colours. Chuck all the little bits of wrapped up paper at random people on the plane saying "and I bless you and I bless you and I bless you," then when you get to some really ugly/old person screw up your face and say either "ewww, I don't bless you" or "hmm... I suppose you need some extra blessing."
58. Collect a few into a pad and go around to randoms on the plane pretending to be a super sales agent and collect all their personal details.
59. Pick some poor son-of-a-gun of the opposite sex not too far away from you and send them their own very special barf bag love letters. Just pray that they don't have a huge muscular partner who has a tendency to become jealous easily...
60.Write "whoever reads this must marry the male flight attendant" and chuck it behind you yelling "quick! It's urgent!!"
61. Write "I Love You" over and over again on the bag and leave it on your snack tray for the attendant to clean up. Having an attendant of the same sex is particularly funny.
62. Paper Airplanes. Weee...... :)
63. Spit balls! Totally gross and unhygienic... but if you're bored enough to be playing with a paper barf bag... you're bored enough to do anything.
64. Use it as a telescope and press it up against the window claiming, "I see LAND!!!"
65. Collect as many as you can and line the toilet with them. Keep and eye on the bathroom and after someone leaves it, quietly go and check to see how they dealt with it.
66. Even better... line the toilet with the paper barf bags... after you've written random quotes all over them.
67. Write an essay on one completely and utterly dissing whatever country you're travelling to. Then put the barf bag back.
68. Take it as a souvenier for that special person who follows you everywhere and acts like you're friends when actually you think they're an annoying lil bitch.