 Personals |
Personals |
Personal to Lieutenant Jamison: Your mother-in-law will visit you week of November 7. Please do not request overseas duty until after she arrives. Your father-in-law.Corpus Christi (Tex.) Caller
I will pay $5 reward to any party who will admit to my wife he threw the empty whiskey bottles in my garden.
Princeton (W. Va.) Observer
We are not responsible for errors in the Clafficied Ads.
Lakewood (Calif.) Tri-Shopper
I wish to thank all the kind ladies of the church who took care of my husband while I was in the hospital.
Goose Creek (Tex.) News-Tribune
We want to thank each and every one who assisted in any way in the loss of Herman Smith.
Benton (Ky.) Tribune Decocrat
I wish to take this means to express my gratitude to my friends for their kindness during my illness. I am going to have major surgery tomorrow. Dr. Caldwell and Dr. Hugman are my doctors. So you see I need your prayers.
Van Buren (Ark.) Courier
Ship and bottle makers, free service! Young man accepts full bottles of Duff-Gordon sherry. Returns them empty, ready for insertion of ship. Prompt and conscientious work guaranteed.
Edinburgh (Scotland) Evening Dispatch
Large whiteface bull has wandered into my pasture, whipped my little bull, torn up six miles of fence and made a nuisance of himself in general with my blackface cattle. Owner can have same by getting him off the premises this weekend, otherwise the general public is hereby invited to a bar-b-que on the following weekend.
Enid (Okla.) News
Notice to car thieves: My tires are puncture-proof. If you try to steal them, you had better be puncture-proof, too.
Austin (Tex.) Tribune
Young man who gets paid on Monday and is broke by Wednesday would like to exchange small loans with a young man who gets paid on Wednesday and is broke by Monday.
New York (N.Y.) Mirror
If the person who stole my coat from the rest room of the Cities Service station on March 6 will look in the inside pocket of the coat and mail my complete income tax return and attached check to the Collector of Internal Revenue, he can come back and I will give him the vest and pants. No questions asked.
Bristol (Va.) Herald-Courier
PERSONAL: Your dog ain't getting much out of my garbage pail, so why don't you feed him?
Palestine (Tex.) Herald
If Wilbur Jenkinson, who deserted his wife and babe 20 years ago, will return, said babe will knock his block off.
Chicago (Ill.) Herald & Examiner
Will the lady who left her laundry in my car please call and explain to my wife?
Norman (Okla.) Transcript
Gentleman who left a dark brown gladstone and light brown zipper bag at small hotel New Year's Eve about 9 P.M. would like to locate said hotel. Reward.
New Orleans (La.) Times-Picayune
Notice to My Chicken Thief: The car blanket thay you stole along with the last consignment of poultry from my chicken coop was an all-wool blanket. If your foresight had not been blinded with poison bootleg liquor, you would have taken my ice machine instead, for where you're going a refrigerator plant would be more appropriate than a wool blanket.
Albion (Pa.) News
WARNING! To person who removed 2 antique gold rings from our gallery: These are Berber Fertility Rings and have been most effective in the past. You are on your own!
San Francisco (Calif.) Chronicle
SPECIAL: Anyone found prowling around my chicken house in the night will be found there the next morning. Lee Richards.
Birmingham (Ala.) Post Herald
Will the party who picked up the black cocker spaniel puppy Saturday on Wendall Road either return him or come back and get the 3-year-old boy he belongs to?
Anderson (Ind.) Daily Bulletin
Will lady who saved $130 on automatic washer I advertised in last week's Journal please call me - it was the dryer that my wife wanted me to sell!
Portland (Ore.) Journal
Send your name and address now to Box 88, Chicago, Illinois. Send no money, pay postman $1.98 upon delivery. Or pay $1.98, send postman, keep your name, to Box 88, Chicago, Illinois. Or keep box, send your name to Postman, Chicago, Illinois. Or send box, get postman, spend money, change name. Visit Chicago sometime - it's wonderful.
Chicago (Ill.) American
IMPORTANT NOTICE: Positively no more baptizing in my pasture. Twice here in the last two months my gate has been left open by Christian people, and before I chase my heifers all over the country again, all the sinners can go to hell.
Wilmington (Del.) Star
PERSONAL: If the young man who was seen Sunday evening kissing his best girl while standing at the front gate will subscribe for The Observer before next press-day, no further mention will be made of the matter.
Hartford (Ark.) Observer
PERSONAL: My advertisement of Jan. 24 was an error. I will be responsible for my wife's debts and will pay them as soon as I get out of the hospital.
Ely (Nev.) Daily Times
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: Will the party who stole my tools out of the back of my car last fall please send a notarized statement to that effect. I need this proof to support a deduction on my income tax.
Libby (Mont.) Western News
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