Photos of Terror Suspects Released

CIA released yesterday pictures of six individuals connected with the Al-Qaeda Crunch Cereal group

The six suspected terrorists.

Attorney General John Asscroft briefs the press on the latest terror threat.

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(JOFUS) -- In light of recent intelligence, the FBI and CIA have issued an alert concerning six terrorists operating in the U.S.

The news was released during a press conference today led by Attorney General John Asscroft.

This follows on the heals of an announcement yesterday that Al Qaeda has increased its numbers and is still growing.

FBI and CIA officials have documented evidence of six terrorists operating here in the U.S. under the guise of Al-Qaeda Crunch.

Trix Rabbit, StayPuff, Lucky, Mr. P-nuts, Ernie and Uncle Pennybanks are rumored to be top players. They are now among the FBI's "Most Wanted".

Pennybanks is financing the terrorist operation codenamed "Silly Rabbit" and is believed to be operating from a hotel on Boardwalk.

The FBI believes the key to preventing "Silly Rabbit" is getting all of the "lucky charms" or biological weapons. Asked where these weapons were coming from, Asscroft said "Ernie Elf is responsible for turning the beloved Kebbler tree into a hell hole for the festering boil that is terrorism."

Breaking tradition, the FBI gave the identity of the source as one Captain Crunch who will be presented with a new ship this afternoon. Crunch noticed something suspicious in his former friends when Rabbit ate bowl of Trix and Snap, Crackle, and Pop did not appear in his bowl of Rice Crispies after the liberal addition of milk.

Asscroft also stated that the "propaganda laden commercials will be banned." He then followed up stating that saying "poopy" is now a criminal offense and the term "peers" in the Constitution really refers to hard line conservatives who lost family members to terrorists.