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Chinese, Japanese tensions lead to arms buildup
Chinese workers during their coffee break like to make fictional animals and look like old American cafeteria workers.
YOUR E-MAIL ALERTS(JOFUS) -- As the tension builds between the neighboring Asian nations, Chinese factories see their production triple as warships are churned out by the thousands. For what seems like the ten-thousandth time, the Chinese people are angry at the Japanese for World War II events. Japan and its corporate sponsor Sony have denied that Japan was ever involved in WWII. JOFUS correspondents have since determined that the real reason for the surge in aggression is penis envy. As a result the world's largest communist nation and chief exporter of Ninja Turtles has shifted production facilities to war-time levels. Millions of factories that would otherwise be producing dollar store water guns are now at work on the largest naval fleet since the cold war. Pentagon officials told JOFUS reporters that they are not alarmed as satelite imagery has revealed that Taiwan is also amassing a fleet of its own to close the growing power gap. Since then the flow of cheap electronics from Taiwan has slowed to a crawl as South Korea and Vietnam aim to pick up the slack. Not to be outdone, North Korea has begun producing G.I. Joes complete with radiation suits. JOFUS Asian correspondant Gary Colechin has reported that although the warships are being produced by the thousands a day, they are small, even for Chinese people. Speculation is that the factories forgot to scale up from their original production of RC boats. Colechin also reports that he is the only black person in China and he is taller than 50% of the population. One a related note, China continues to define itself as a superpower by adopting non-international standards similar to the United States. They have since developed their own method of breathing. Visitors will be required to purchase an adapter upon entering customs.
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