Another quote: "It'll take you thirty minutes to part that polyester 'possum you call a wig." ~ from a local tractor dealer's ads on tv.

Latest acquisition:
The Doors of Perception/Heaven and Hell (two books in one) ~ Aldous Huxley. From the cover:"2 complete books in which Aldous Huxley explores the mind's remote frontiers and the unmapped areas of human consciousness."

Still Reading:
Geek Love ~ Katherine Dunn. Maybe I'll get it finished one of these days...maybe. Oh, in case you're wondering what a 'geek' is: it's an old sideshow act where a person would literally bite the heads off of live chickens.

Listening to: nothing really. My CDs are out in the truck and I'm feeling too antisocial to go get them. (Yep. Too antisocial to even go out and be seen by anybody!)

Interesting website of the day:The Z Cluster. Chaos magic site. Two of the more interesting pages are here: The Elements of Sorcery and Chaos Magick

Gee. I didn't realize it had been that long since the last entry. I've been entirely too tired and frazzled to make an entry ~ fifteen credit hours will do that.

Yep. My schedule is kicking my butt at the moment, especially Tuesdays and Thursdays. I really didn't think that physical pain was part and parcel of being an artist ~ an hour and a half of algebra, three hours on my feet (on a concrete floor) in front of an easel, oil painting and another three hours in front of another easel in drawing III. When I leave, I have an interesting array of pain going on. On top of that, sometimes it's all I can do to get home without making a special visit with Lord Morpheus.

Just a little over two weeks into the semester and already this schedule has left me constantly tired and sometimes quite bitchy. I have to keep telling myself: "I wanted this. I voluntarily took this on. This is what I wanted..." Then I wonder if I'm not a victim of "Be careful what you wish for."

Speaking of that...

I rediscovered a...hmm...'fascination' seems to be the best word to use. I was surfing this morning and rediscovered the Z Cluster site. Chaos magic really does fascinate me. It doesn't insist that magic is some great, mysterious external force out there, waiting for the Great Initiated to tap into and cause all sorts of occult mayhem. Magic works on and in the subconscious ~ an act of magic is literally re-programming your mind, which sometimes causes all sorts of personal mayhem. It also emphasizes that belief isn't an end point ~ it's a starting point. You begin with all your beliefs about the world (and beyond) and then you start deconstructing them, finding your own personal brand of truth...or at least preferred variety of illusion.

What I really like about chaos magic is the freedom (hmmm. That seems to be a big thing for me. Looks as I have something to deconstruct and figure out why...) Freedom from false beliefs and the freedom to simply experience. Here's a quote from The Elements of Sorcery:

"I seek to live simply, to touch freely, to influence utterly and so be influenced--and fail miserably, falling into fits of manic laughter. Or succeed, and find myself pulled, called, conjured into a purity of Desire. From this failure I fuse into a bodily need for contact, a rapture of excess seeking, and from the excess, into no- mind. "There is no need for crucifixion", "Does not matter, need not be." Austin Osman Spare"

Alright. That's it for now. I'm tired of sitting here and staring at this damn monitor.