Still Reading:
Where Bigfoot Walks ~ Robert Michael Pyle
Listening to:
NPR
It's happening again. The old systems are being shattered. Long unused wheels are shuddering in effort to start turning. My mind is working.
I mentioned in the last entry that I sat in on an illuminating chat. It covered many topics ~ whether Jedi could be 'real,' spiritual paths we've walked in the past, whether ETs are real, reality, god and where the concept of god 'fits' into reality.
This chat brought up something that had been wriggling in the back of my mind for a while now. Just where does god fit into all this? Does god fit into this? The disturbing thing is that the answer that keeps coming up is 'not much of anywhere' and 'I don't think so.'
I'm going to have to explain this, if only to myself. Most of my childhood, I had the image of god that my parents had: a male being, existing in a remote place but because he saw and knew all, he kept tabs on us. This being was supposed to be all loving, but had a mean streak. Despite that fact that everyone was supposed to be created in his image, I guess he didn't like what he saw in some of those images because they were condemned forever because they were gay, or some other nonsensical thing. He didn't make a lot sense because he seemed more capricious than even most Greek deities.
I started reading Egyptian mythology when I was in my teens. I loved the concept of a goddess ~ here was an alternative to the vengeful thing that I had grown up with and I could choose who I wanted to follow. For many years, it was just the 'goddess' in general and then it seemed natural to choose Epona, patron of horses, riders and dreams and later, Artemis, patron of the wild things. For a few years, this worked. I even had a few experiences where I 'met' them.
Then the questions began. Were this things real? Did they really happen or were they really a function of my own mind, great as it was? I could answer that something had happened, therefore they were 'real,' but as for the other questions, I couldn't answer.
Of course, this brings up a host of other questions: if there's no god, then who created the universe? I've said in another post that I didn't know if it had been created and that I don't really know if I care either way. The only thing I have to say about it is isn't it a bit egotistical to think that just because we're here that the place had to be created solely to be our own playground? Why couldn't it simply be here, cycling over and over like a wonderful Mendlebrot set? Besides, does it really matter? The important thing is that it's here now, or else we wouldn't have anything holding our corpulent asses down.
Another question is this: well, if there's no god, then who decides whether you go to heaven or hell? This one is easy. First of all, I don't believe in hell ~ in the conventional sense, anyway. The closest thing to a hell is right here on earth ~ it's the lowest of the planes and of course it seems like hell to be a ethereal spirit temporarily trapped in all this dense and finite matter. Even our minds are so finite: there is only so much room in there to store all our experiences here on this planet ~ not much is left over for what we truly are, although there seems to be enough for a clue. So hell is really only a trip back here for yet another lesson in whatever it is we need to learn.
So, to answer the original question: we do. We get to see everything we've done in this life ~ the good, the bad, the polyester leisure suits (I missed that one, thank me! :::snicker:::) and we either say, "hey, I did pretty well" or forgive ourselves for the bad and the leisure suits and move on. Otherwise, we cycle back.
One question is: well, if there's no god, who is watching over us? Why does anyone have to be watching over us? Aren't you grown up enough to be able to watch out for yourself? For good or ill, sooner or later we have to leave Mommy and Daddy and make our own way.
You know, I've lived with the idea of god for most of my life. It's a little scary to let go. There's new territory being covered here. It is my own way ~ I guess we get to see if I've got what it takes to make it.
I don't have all the answers ~ I wouldn't be here if I did. I'd be basking on one of the upper planes if I did. Strange and wonderful stuff still happens ~ last night with the hummingbird, for example. I can't explain what happened a few weeks ago with the crystal. I'm working on it though. We'll see how it turns out.
Page Copyright 2002 D. Firewolf
