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| Gingerbread Willow: Makes me grateful that my mom's not interested in my extra-curricular activities.... Or my *curricular* activities. Giles: I don't know. Ordinarily, I would say let's widen our research. Buffy: Using what? A-a dictionary and 'My Friend Flicka'? Snyder: I love the smell of desperate librarian in the morning. Willow: Mom, I'm not an age group. I'm me. Willow group. Willow: No, Ma, hear this! I'm a rebel! I'm having a rebellion! Sheila: Willow, honey, you don't need to act out like this to prove your specialness. Willow: Mom, I'm not acting out. I'm a witch! I-I can make pencils float. And I can summon the four elements. Okay, two, but four soon. A-and I'm dating a musician. Sheila: Oh, Willow! Willow: I worship Beelzebub. I do his biddings. Do you see any goats around? No, because I sacrificed them. Sheila: Willow, please! Willow: All bow before Satan! Sheila: I'm not listening to this. Willow: Prince of Night, I summon you. Come fill me with your black, naughty evil. Buffy: Is she? Is Sunnydale any better than when I first came here? Okay, so I battle evil. But I don't really win. The bad keeps coming back and getting stronger. Like that kid in the story, the boy that stuck his finger in the duck. Angel: Dike.... It's another word for dam. Buffy: Oh. Okay, that story makes a lot more sense now. Giles: (talking to the computer) Session interrupted? Who said you could interrupt,you stupid, useless fad! No, I said fad. And I'll say it again. Xander: At that point, I will become frightened. Giles: Of course! Well, it makes sense now. Buffy: Yeah, it's all falling into place. Of course that place is nowhere near this place. Giles: Wake up in a... Oh, never mind. We need to save Buffy from Hansel and Gretel. Cordelia: Now, let's be clear. The brain damage happened *before* I hit you. Xander: What's with the grim? We're here to join you guys. No, really. Why should you guys have all the fun? We wanna be part of the hate. Oz: Just so we're clear, you guys know you're nuts, right? Willow: You've seen what we can do! Another step and you will all feel my power! Buffy: What are you gonna do, float a pencil at 'em? Cordelia: This? (holding something) It doesn't look like a toad. Giles: No reason it should. It's from inside the toad. Cordelia: I hate you. Buffy: Mom, dead people are talking to you. Do the math! Cordelia: (watching Giles pick a lock) God, you really were the little youthful offender, weren't you? You must just look back on that and cringe. Helpless Buffy: Satisfied? Angel: I'm not sure that's the word. Buffy: Right, birthday. Um, actually, I, I do have a thing. Angel: Oh, a thing...... A date? Buffy: Nice attempt at casual. Actually, I do have a date. Older man. Very handsome. He likes it when I call him 'Daddy'. Angel: Huh, your father.... It is your father, right? Buffy: Okay, so how do you know if one's aura's dirty? Somebody come by with a finger and write 'wash me' on it? Buffy: I'm way off my game. My game's left the country. It's in Cuernavaca. Xander: An ice show? A show performed on ice. And how old are we again? Willow: I went to Snoopy On Ice when I was little. My dad took me backstage and I got so scared I threw up on Woodstock. Willow: Aha! A curse on Slayers. Oh, no. Wait. I-it's lawyers. Xander: You know, maybe we're on the wrong track with the whole spell, curse and whammy thing. Maybe what we should be looking for is something like, um, Slayer kryptonite. Oz: Faulty metaphor. Kryptonite kills. Xander: You're assuming I meant the green kryptonite. I was referring, of course, to the red kryptonite, which drains Superman of his powers. Oz: Wrong. The gold kryptonite's the power-sucker. The red kryptonite mutates Superman into some sort of weird... Buffy: Guys? Reality? Buffy: Of course I do. It's sweet and thoughtful and... full of neat words to learn and say like 'wilt' and 'henceforth'. Angel: Then why'd you seem more excited last year when you got a severed arm in a box? Buffy: I guess. But what if I can't? I've seen too much. I know what goes bump in the night. Not being able to fight it... What if I just hide under my bed, all scared and helpless? Or what if I just become pathetic? Hanging out at the old Slayer's home, talking people's ears off about my glory days, showing them Mr. Pointy, the stake I had bronzed. Angel: 'Cause I could see your heart.You held it before you for everyone to see. And I worried that it would be bruised or torn. And more than anything in my life I wanted to keep it safe... to warm it with my own. Buffy: That's beautiful... Or taken literally, incredibly gross. Angel: I was just thinking that, too. Cordelia: Oh, God. Is the world ending? I have to research a paper on Bosnia for tomorrow, but if the world's ending, I'm not gonna bother. Buffy: I don't know you. Cordelia: Did something take her memory? He's Giles. Giiillles. He hangs out here a lot. Buffy: If I was at full Slayer power, I'd be punning right about now. Willow: Now, now when you say 'fired', do you mean 'fired'? Xander: You're not cruising past that concept any time soon, are you? Buffy: You know, nothing's really gonna change. The important thing is that I kept up my special birthday tradition of gut-wrenching misery and horror. Oz: Bright side to everything. |
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