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| I Only Have Eyes for You Buffy: Impulsive? Do you remember my ex-boyfriend, the vampire? I slept with him, he lost his soul, now my boyfriend's gone forever, and the demon that wears his face is killing my friends. The next impulsive decision I make will involve my choice of dentures. Willow: Xander, what happened? Did Cordelia win another round in the broom closet? Xander: You're just a big bucket of funny, Will. Willow: Oh! I almost forgot. I made us all scapulas. Xander: Okay, so we can flip the ghost over when it turns a nice golden brown? Go Fish Xander: All I'm saying is, it's a stupid idea to have a victory party at the beach. It's officially nippy. So say my nips! Cameron: Beautiful. Isn't it? Buffy: ( staring at the ocean) Yeah. It's just so... Cameron: Eternal. A true mother, giving birth to new life and devouring old. Always adaptable and nurturing... yet...constant... and merciless. Buffy: Boy. I was just gonna go with big and wet. Willow: So, we're looking for a beastie. Giles: That, uh, eats humans whole... except for the skin. Buffy: This doesn't make any sense. Xander: Yeah. The skin's the best part. Buffy: Any demons with high cholesterol? *Giles gives her a look.* Buffy: You're gonna think about that later, mister, and you're gonna laugh. Xander: Well, it was dark! And the thing went through the window so quick, and I was a... little shocked when I saw it, and... Cordelia: Go ahead. Say it. You ran like a woman. Xander: Hey, if you saw this thing, you'd run like a woman, too. Buffy: And raise the possibility that someone brought forth this sea monster from whence it came to exact that revenge. 'From whence it came'? (to Giles) I'm spending *way* too much time around you. Xander: What about me? What can I do? Cordelia: Well, you could go out to the parking lot and practice running like a man. Willow: So... You delved into the black arts and conjured up a hellbeast from the ocean's depths to wreak your vengeance. Jonathon: Huh? Willow: Didn't you? Jonathon: (confused) What? No! I snuck in yesterday and... peed in the pool. Willow: Oh. (disgusted) Eww! Xander: What am I gonna do? Cordelia: You, you, you. What about me? It's one thing to be dating the lame unpopular guy, but it's another to be dating the creature from the Blue Lagoon. Xander: Black Lagoon. The creature from the BlueLagoon was Brooke Shields. And thank you *so* much for your support! Buffy: I think we'd better find the rest of the swim team and lock them up before they get in touch with their inner halibut. Coach Marin: Boy, when they were handin' out school spirit, you didn't even stand in line, did you? Buffy: No. I was in the line for shred of sanity. (The coach points a gun at Buffy) Buffy: Which you obviously skipped. Cordelia: Oh, my God! Xander! (Seeing a fish creature in the pool) Cordelia: It's me, Cordelia? I know you can't answer me,but... God, this is all my fault. You joined the swim team to impress me. You were so courageous. And you looked really hot in those Speedo's. And I want you to know that I still care about you, no matter what you look like. And... and we can still date. Or, or not. I mean... I understand if you wanna see other fish. (crouches by the edge) I'll do everything I can to make your quality of life better. Whether that means little bath toys or whatever. Buffy: Great. This is just what my reputation needs: that I did it with the entire swim team. Becoming, Part 1 Willow: Don't say that! You're gonna pass everything. I will get you through this semester if I have to sweat blood. Xander: Do you think you're likely to? 'Cause I'd like to be elsewhere. Willow: It was only metaphor blood. Oz: I think you'd sweat cute blood. Cordelia: Xander has a point. Xander: You know, just for once, I wish you'd support me, and I realize right now that you were, and I'm embarrassed, so I'm gonna get back to the point, which is that Angel needs to die. Buffy: You know, polite people call before they jump out of the bushes and attack you. Kendra: Just wanted to test your reflexes. Buffy: How about testing my face-punching? 'Cause I think you'll find it's improved. Spike: It's a big rock. I can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big. Spike: Let me guess. Someone pulls out the sword... Angelus: Someone worthy... Spike: Mm. The demon wakes up, and wackiness ensues. Spike: (sing-song) Someone wasn't worthy. Angelus: Damn it! Drusilla: This is so... disappointing! (moans) endra: In case de curse does not succeed, dis is my lucky stake. I have killed many vampires wit it. I call it Mr. Pointy. Buffy: You named your stake? Kendra: Yes. Buffy: Remind me to get you a stuffed animal. |
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