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| Click Here to Return the Almighty "How It Really Happened" Page | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| How It Really Happened | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Christmas | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| And so it came to pass that William Howard Taft lost his noggin. He was furious that he had been ridiculed all his life, and in his blind fury he lost all sense and released his terrible weapon upon the land. The diameter of the land destroyed in that moment by his stomach was approximately four miles, and it did not go unheard. Immediately upon the feel of the shock hundreds of Sevle tribesmen were awake and on the alert. As soon as they smelled Taft's B.O., they knew this was no earthquake. The alarm was sounded, and all the village sprung into action. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| A Sevle tribe on the alert is dangerous. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Well, the alarm had been sounded, and the short Sevle tribesmen quickly sprang out of bed and made for the mountains and Helmet's Deep. However, they were not fast enough. Although Taft was much too large to run, he could still roll, and a rolling fat giant is a frightful sight indeed. He quickly overcame a small band of Sevle tribesmen, and the look they gave that rolling best was like to the look of a deer to an oncoming semi. The poor little men didn't even stand a chance. It was Taft's first kill. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Sevle tribespeople, in the flesh!! | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Now the Sevle tribe was beginning to despair. Taft killed many blank-faced tribesmen, and all hope seemed lost. Suddenly, a cry came up from the snow of the Siberian mountains. "Flipendo!" Could it be? the Sevle tribesmen wondered. Yes! It was Harry Plotter, come to rescue them in a puff of smoke! Cheers came up from every corner of the village. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Harry showed off his owl, yelled "Flipendo!" and disappeared again in another puff of smoke. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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