First poem on this page is about a guy at my school who I just can't get over, but he never looks at me...he just looks right through me, and that hurts.
By the way...I've nicknamed him "Duck" for some reason...I honestly don't know why, but that's my name for him. lol (Don't ask)
"My ode to Ducks"
In my eyes
You are the greatest man alive
In your eyes
I'm just a harmless girl
I wish I could really know what you think when you glance at me
Probably nothing much
Just about video games and sports stuff
I'd run away with you
Leave everything I know just to be with you
My friends are sick of me talking about you
I sometimes just want to get over you
It would make my life so much easier
If I weren't in love with you
I know I said "you" a lot in that poem ;p
"My ode to Ducks part 2: The obsession continues"
I'm in love with this guy
And I know for a fact
That he'd rather die
Than too ever go out with me
But still I try
I find myself staring
Giggling
Dreaming
A little school girl
With a big crush
On a guy that I could never have
Just because of who I am
And the way I am
Maybe the way I look
Or the way I walk
Or just because of the way I talk
No matter what it is
He'll never have me
Because he'll never want me
I'd give up everything for him
Except, I wouldn't change who I am
I'd leave behind everything
Just to live with him
To have him hold me, and touch me
To have him want to be with me
To be alone with no one there
Just me and him
The boy I'm in love with
A boy who may never grow up
To see a broken girl
On the floor
Begging and crying for him
To open the door
And let me in
Ok, that one was kind of pathetic on my part. This guy either completly ignores me, or treats me like s***, so I don't know why I like him. I just can't get over him!
Ok, the next poem was inspired by an ex-boyfriend. He's still my friend and everything, but I wrote this poem. I read it to him and he said it was very "informative and honest" lol He claimed to like it!
"******" <----- His name, I won't type it for confindentiality reasons...(I spelled that wrong. lol)
So long ago
You were like my best friend
Way back when you still spoke English
Way before this ebonics thing
Now it's so hard to understand you
Now you don't seem to care
It's like you're a different person now
Nothing like who you were before
You dumped me on my birthday
And called me two years later
You said you called to say you were sorry
But then on the phone
You asked if our friendship would lead to sex
At first I was disgusted
Kindda sad
To be just another booty call
For a guy who didn't give a damn at all
But maybe you are different
Or maybe you're the same
As you were the day we met
So sweet and kind
Kinda makes me wanna make you mine
But in the end
I know it would just happen again
And I'll be alone
And your voice won't be on my phone
So maybe would should just stay friends
Like you said
On my birthday
So long ago.
Ok, next poem isn't based on my own personal experience...I just started writing and kept going until it was done. It's still under the "guy" catagory...Sad really...Like having the perfect person in your life, and they die on you.
"Always Together"
For the last time I held your hand
And felt you kiss mine so softly like you always did
You told me not to be afraid when you saw a tear roll down my cheek
You wiped it away and layed down so slow
You told me that you were not in pain
And that you will love me always
I dreamed that you died last night
I got to hold you in my arms for the last time
I watched you take your last breath
And the light go out of your eyes
I looked away and felt overwhelmed with fear, sadness, and pain
I thought we'd live forever
Happy and always together
But now you've left me here all alone
To go on living by myself
I feel so confused now
So awkward
I'm not used to not seeing your smiling face
And hearing your deep voice, your laugh
I miss the way you would look at me and grin so smoothly
Make me feel embarrassed but so good at the same time
I just want to hold you again and feel you breathing next to me
I want to hold your hand and walk with you
I want to laugh, to cry, to scream, and to live with you
Without you here to comfort me when I am sad
What will I do?!
I don't know what to do, or how to act anymore
All I know is
You where my angel in life, and will be my angel in death
Happy forever cause we're always together
Ok, this next poem I wrote today (March 21st 2001)
I'm gonna change the name cause the guy that this poem was inspired by will get pissed if he sees his name here...
"John" made me feel"
Today, "John" made me feel like S***
I was telling the class my dreams, my desires
And the second he thought they included him...
He flipped
I wasn't referring to him when I said that I wanted to marry a guitarist from a band
I wasn't referring to just any band
And I definatly wasn't referring to his band
But still
I took his cruel words to heart
For someone who is, "so in touch with his emotions"
He doesn't seem to give a damn about anybody else's
I don't know why I even bother to listen to him
But I find that I can't help it
I just get sucked in
Maybe I'm just f***ed up
Cause it's like I need to be hurt
And when someone starts it
I can't end it
I have to let it torture me
And live with me
Until the day I'm dead
Memories, thoughts, images, and voices
They just don't leave my head
Cruel words stay around forever
Nice words just float around and get pushed out by all the hate and sadness
That lives inside of me
Caused by the words of others'
I find myself crying on the inside
And bleeding on the outside
Where everyone can see
I hear the whispers
I know what they must be thinking
I know what they must think of me
A girl who can't see
Anything but sadness and cruelty
I don't even like me
Why do I expect others to want to help?
To even care?
I hurt myself
I hide my emotions
I push kindness away
I'm so not used to it. I'm afraid of it.
It all just feels so fake
Maybe I'll just go to sleep
And never reawake
Make everyone happy
Stop being such a burden to everyone
Leave this world as quickly as I came
No one will know my name
No one will ever look up to me
Not in a good way
So maybe I should just end it all
Right here
Before it goes any further
And I hurt someone else besides myself
With my sensitive and defensive ways
No one will miss me
No one will know I'm gone
No one will care
If I'm not there
Never again will I see the sun
Or hear a familiar voice
I will never take another breath
If I let the words of others' take me over
I can't let them win
Maybe I'll stick around
And see what this whole 'living' thing is all about
Maybe it will get better
Maybe it'll never change
But I'll never know
If I decide to go...
Ok, that was a very LONG poem i think. I don't think many people will actually read it becasue of how long it is...But that's ok
More poems coming later
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Thanks :)