| Fun Poetry 7 |
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| SANTA IS A DRUNKARD Santa is so jolly, with a belly full of beer Driving his sleigh around with 8 drunken deer . Landing on the roof tops, falling in the snow A fat man in a red suit, saying ho-ho-ho ! For Santa is a drunkard, I tell you no lies Squashing in his big red suit, ho-hoing as he flies. With the reins in one hand, a beer tightly gripped I swear this story's true, for Santa he was ripped! Dasher and Dancer never touched a drop Prancer and Vixen wished they could stop. Comet and Cupid were strung out on drugs Donner and Blitzen are reformed thugs . Rudolph tried to keep everyone in line Prancing around with his girlish whine. Santa would point at Rudolph and say Shut-up d**n deer and pull my sleigh ! I want this night to hurry up and end The elves and I have a function to attend! We got a keg waiting back at the pole And donner and blitzen have to check in with parole! So on Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen Comet and Cupid you do the mixen! Donner and Blitzen keep Rudolph on track I'm having a nap on my big red sack.. Santa and his sleigh they flew out of sight The reindeer as drunk as the fat man that night. Knocking over mailboxes, packages in the sink Santa and the deers had to much to drink! Now this is my Christmas poem for the year My story is as true as my cold beer . So enjoy the holidays and dont eat yellow snow Merry Christmas to all, time for me to go! Carrie |
| A CHRISTMAS TALE This time of year it is patently clear That the males are the ones who are blest. Thoughts like "goodwill to men" we hear time and again And we find them quite hard to digest. As we women all know, men think they run the show, And sometimes we allow them this pause. But it gets on our nerves, like too many hors d'oeuvres When we want to get at the main course. Many times out of mind the same problem we find, Leaving plans to the menfolk is risky. Christmas spirit they think is some kind of a drink, Such as vodka, Baccardi, or whiskey. Since we carry the load, men keep out of our road, We are ready and willing and able. For it's perfectly clear, that the stuffed turkeys here Are not always confined to the table. The traditional way is now rather passe, Lets give credit, where credit is due. Then you'll see, man or boy, in return you'll enjoy The fruits of OUR goodwill to you. Roni |