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--Crazyshadowz--

~Give me all your attention~

~Get into my thoughts~

[[.:.Something Inspiring.:.]]

"Bombing for peace is like
f***ing for virginity"
cilvar=haras

"Birds, and the bees, and the ass kicking PORTUGUESE!"

[[You know..]]

Currently my writtings taken off... if you'd like to read some things i've written in the past and recently... just ask i'll gladly send :)



	Lurking in the shadows, A fate that can be chosen when well aware, Dangers lead you forward, Reality is unspoken theory, Gravity and all things alike are non-existent, No thought, no words, no sounds, Can�t describe the time passing, Desire, lust, infatuation all but for a moment, Crave, want, taken under a spell, Decent, lies, mislead all of which describe you well, Trust? I gave to you, You threw it away first chance you received, Locked on you and everything you do, Can�t think, or breathe, Without your name holding my head captive, The agony of your resounding presence, Well aware you�ll think this is about you, Your ignorance is no shock, The abundancy within, Which I hold firmly to, You will never know, Along with many others, With held for pure satisfaction, A conspiracy I devised, Loathing the masses of pure exteriors, Rising above the rest, All for it just but concealed, Unlike demand for reveal... ----june'04--- Wouldn�t it be nice, Im not afraid of much, Pleading from others for advice, Fantacizing about affection and such, I am young and vunerable? Or is those around me, Who are the vunerable, Am I the one encouraging their prejudice, By simply fading into their view Of thee ignorant one they picture, Go to school, fun, friends, What a horrible life to lead? No worries no cares, No travesties, ----june'04--- Whats happened to my life, I�ve floated away to congruity, Someone stole my glasses, Im oblivious to my surroundings, The bliss of this unconscience state, Leads me to believe, peace at last, Then I�m remindned the uncertainty, Of the good and the bad, The love and the shame, The emotions that cannot illustrate, My lust for verification, That I am living plentiful I should be far off in a dream world like all the rest, They climb under the warmth of sheets get undressed, The flesh once hidden is revealed, The mind once occupied now healed, Ignore the beauty of the darkness and sky, Ignore the tranquility of comfort of the cry, The plea of silence as all things quietly take hush, The leap from reality to darkness to a dream the rush, Eyes once happily open slowly close, To a land of rest or so they soppose�. I dreamt that you died; I was alone to perish on my own, I dreamt that I died; You were fine and alone. You weren't there and I had nothing, I surrounded myself by the content of your presence, When you weren't there, I found no happiness, When I wasn't there, you didn't take note. Attracting all the wrong attention, Yet you notice nothing of the above, Falling for you wasn't my intention, I only decide and choose who I love. You weren't in my plan but now you are, Can I make you see past my invisibility? Can you look past all my previous scars? You weren't there to take responsibility. Don't you know that you're everything I want? Everyday your presence haunts, By now you should have figured how I am, Too bad there's nothing but I that I can condemn�. As the sunrises above the hills, It sent sudden chills, Throughout my body this sensation, Caused by the remarkable premonition, Life begging at dawns break, As the reds, orange and yellows awake, So silent, so peaceful this morning begun, Across the world a war is amidsts that will never be won, Although we never see b'cuz we're blinded by this light, This very same, sunrise sight. (monologue) I was minding my own, When suddenly you spoke to me, Your eyes said it all, Gloriously blue like I've never seen before, I never noticed how beautiful they were, Until this very day, You looked straight at me as if there was something to see, I looked at you ashamed turning away, I should have listened when you said you needed help, But instead I brushed you off, listened to myself� You looked straight at me as if there was something to see; I looked back at you ashamed turning away. My past haunts me even as I try to forget thee; Praying at night to a God to make the bliss stay. The four cornered room I'm enclosed, In a safety of a concrete cage, Waking up each and every morning in disgust, Of the person staring at me, Her nature of appearance dull and dead, Eyes of emptiness a face that haunts, A body of distortion and broken, The living dead, but her scars bled, Insertions of pain to free the blame, Her escape she found to leave on her corpse, As evidence to the sins man made, Her face stares straight back at me, A familiarity I find in her likeness, Suddenly I realize the lifeless eyes I stared into, Were all but lies, Purely since they were mine� Your a bona fide rarity, Your my comfort and stability, You look down at me, As if theres something to see, I turn away in shame, As if i were playing some shy game, Waking up beside you, Is all i ever dreamt to do, Being in your grasp, Being your last, (inspired by "Northen girl"... (southern girl- incubus) ~No Longer Anxious~ >The steam surrounds me as a presence of someone I once lost, Outside is frozen, isolated and cold much like my heart, the frost, Warmth of the water, cleanse me, unite with my tears, The chemicals in my head a mixture of pain, spears. >Too much to handle collisions constantly with reality and the unknown, 3 years of this bullshit, mentally id figure by now I've grown, My world is becoming too heavy to hold up as precious, As everyday the craving to end it I then become anxious. >There's no one who knows my secret just the voice in my head, The nights as I cried holding myself up as I bled, My pillow that encases my tears keeping it classified, Waiting until I can finally be pacified. >Let the warm water that once embraced me take my life, Much easier then using pills, gun or even a knife, I'll die in this pure elements embrace-full suffocation, Slowly sinking into my rest, time to ignition, >Now it begins my life in the unknown, Finally I know that I've left, I've grown, No more lies of a life that was supposedly precious, And no longer am I anxious�. I can't stand this Cause its you that I miss It's a cold and lonely night Just yesterday you held me tight What the hell went wrong? I don't know that's why im writing this song one is the loneliest number that you'll ever find so please will you stay with me for one more night Chorus: I can't stand this Cause its you that I miss It's a cold and lonely night Just yesterday you held me tight What the hell went wrong? I don't know that's why im writing this song one is the loneliest number that you'll ever find so please will you stay with me for one more night (G's song) .:. [[Here I stand�.]] .:. Here I stand in my white dress, The color of purity, I am no less, I stand here proud to be, The times I was confused and amazingly, I went on believing what was true, My soul, life, and I grew, As I stand here we exchange 'love's faithful vow', From here on out you are mine now, This is the beginning of our life, Starting here and now me as your wife�.. The times I struggled to keep my chastity, The times I felt lost and couldn't find my identity, Now I know I made the right decision, That our 2 lives would come together, a collision, Here I stand, face held high, The color of pride as I say goodbye, To the purity I once held in esteem, Now will be yours like in my fairy tale dream�. (heh i watched a wedding movie thus this) It doesn't have to be this way, Even though the night fades to day, I really must confess, That you're simply the best, And as I lie here dreaming, I am screaming, Out your name, Hold me, Only you can see, You saw me when I was invisible, And now with you im no longer divisble, Lost in the moment, Its ten past nine, Feels like im running out of time, No stars in the sky, Why do I fall for the bad guy? You say you wont hurt me, I trust you completely, 2 months down the line, I'm still ignoring all the signs, It aint funny how Im finding out now All the times you played, Wishing that you would have Stayed The thoughts never seem to end.... Living in a corpse that isn't mine, While I stare into a reflection I seem to loathe, Vines of spiraled water unwinds, The thoughts never seem to end, A message of secretcy to unravel for me, Life enters through the windows of the soul, Life leaves through the same windows it entered, It grazes against my skin, The sense I can feel us to feel to be whole? To be real? The sense of touch, that which I crave the most, Am I supposed to love? Yet feel nothing? Those embraces, the simple sign that remains stagnant to me, To live is to feel, although emotions contradict, The struggle between touch, to feel and emotion, In silence I acknowledge my pulse, It vibrantly shakes me; by this I know I'm alive, I'm alive, or am I? To feel, to taste, to touch,to see, to dream? They say we live for one another, Who is it that lives for me? Or who should I live for? They tell me to rest assured that you died for me, But how will I know? When I'm still failing to understand, Upstairs an entire new revelation I have yet to explore ready to unfold, But as the heavens darken out and leave me, I shall take my rest and cease to dream, And then when all is well, awaken into the same world I left behind. When I sleep, I dream at night, That everything will be alright, I dream of fields more than before, I wake in a desert more then I can ignore, Then I dreamed of love that resembled a river, Full of shimmering silver, Dreaming of a passion that could never be true, Until I finally found you, Days we spent gazing under the sun, I live for that moment we had so much fun, I tried to dazzle you with my charms, as I held you tightly in my arms.

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