| 10 ThingZ gurlZ luv about guyZ 1. If we dont say we like u .. we usually do 2. We luv it when u smile at us 3. We luv it when u call us up for no reason 4. We luv it wen u stick up for us in front of ur friends 5. We luv the way u link your fingers wid ours 6. We luv it when u hug us and we feel soo secure 7. we luv it when u tell us u LOVE us, and mean it 8. We luv it wen u kiss us at un expected times 9. We luv it how sum of u think its rude to kiss in front of every1 - it is! 10. but most of we luv it wen u ask us out YOURSELF! 5 Commandments of TeenZ 1. Thou shall not steal (beg ur parents ... eventually they will giv in!) 2. Thou shall not skip class ... take the whole day off 3. Thou shall not think about sex (like Nike says Just Do It) 4. Thou shall not do drugs, alcohol lasts longer! 5. Thou shall do their homework, once in a while Sum ThingZ guyZ shoulD knoW ~*~ we r all crazy ~*~ so u know; a slut is a girl who will sleep wid anyone, a bitch is a girl who will sleep wid any1 but YOU! ~*~ We do want HONEST answers ~*~ We do like compliments ~*~ It's not tha size that matters, itz how he uses it! 10 Good WayZ 2 Tell U'R in LOVE! 1. You hav to see them everyday or talk to them everyday otheriwse u feel like ur gonna die 2. Ur stomach does somersaults when they come up to you and smile 3. You find everyway possible to touch them 4. You start to notice little things about them that u neva noticed before (their eyes) 5. You cant stop thinking about them 6. Woteva flaws they have you dont care about 7. You can be YOURSELF and not feel like your being jusged when your aroud them 8. They can make u smile, if ur upset 9. You dont care what ur friends say about them u still like em 10. You dont care what type of reputation they have I'm adding one more thanks to Lisa - You know your in love when you miss them after you hang up AdvicE 2 HornY guyZ * Cova ya stump b4 ya hump * B4 u attack her, wrap ur whacker * Don't be silly, protect ur willy * Don't be a loner, cova ya boner * If u think she's spunky, wrap ur monkey * If u slip between her thighs be sure to condomize * She wont get sick if u wrap ur dick * No glove, no luv *Wrap it in foil, b4 checking her oil * Right selection, will protect ur erection Top 10 Placez NoT To HavE SeX 1. In the movies 2. In a car ... while your driving! 3. In front of all your friends(some people r so gross!) 4. In a phone booth 5. In your best friends bed 6. At ur grandma's house 7. At school 8. In your dirty garage 9. In the street 10. ON LINE Top 10 SeX SpotZ 1. In your bed 2. In your parents bed 3. In His car 4. On a dryer, while running (can u run and hav sex at the same time? ohh i get it now!) 5. In a hot tob (spa) 6. On a beach (unda da stars) 7. On a comfy couch 8. On a waterbed (what if u get sea sick?) 9. A plane bathroom 10. In the rain Top 3 Things NOT to say Before SeX 1. Is this going to hurt? 2. I've done this thousands of times 3. Are you sure its on there? Top 3 Things to say Before SeX 1. I love you (and mean it) 2. Rock My World 3. Let's get ready to rumble Top 3 Things NOT to say After SeX 1. That was it? 2. Oops the condom broke ... my bad! 3. What was your name i didnt catch it at the start? Top 3 Thingz NOT to say during SeX 1. Is it in yet? 2. Jeez did i tell you, you could take the bag off your head? 3. How much longer? Ok, if your unda 15 stop rite dere. U not louda go down no moor and if ur parents find ouut il b in big trubble even tho i aint the 1 controlling da mouse, but go ok! LOVE SHACK Oral sex- an ode to love Penis breath, a lover's dread Is what you get when you give head, unpleasant as it tends to be Be grateful that he doesn't pee it's times like this, you wonder why you bothered reaching for his fly but it's too late, can't be a tease Accpt the facts, get on your knees you know you've got a job to do So open wide and shove it through Lick the tip and take it all don't drag your teeth or he might bawl Slide up and down, use your tongue and feel the precum start to run so when the fucks he's gonna come just, when you can't take anymore you hear your's lovers mighty roar and when he hits that real high note you feel it oozing down your throat salty, fishy, sticky, yucky stuff Okay, already that's enough lets switch you say, before you gag and whats your revenge, your on the rag. more sex poems Bash me, beat me, bite my bum, Wrip me, strip me, 'til I come, Fuck me suck me lick me out, Pull my nipples 'til I shout A hug turns into a kiss, A kiss turns into a lick, A lick turns into a suck, A suck turns into a Fuck, So come ova ere and give me a hug!!!!!!!! In a garden, Up a tree, Make her wet make her pee, suck her clit, suck her tit, make her swallow never spit, when your done, wipe her bum, take her home & fuck her mum. LoL Corporate Condoms LoL Nike Condoms - Just do it Toyota Condoms - Oh what a feeling Ford Condoms - The ride of your life Microsoft Condoms - Where do you want to go today? Optus Condoms - Yes! KFC Condoms - Finger lickin' Good M&M's Condoms - Melt in your mouth not in your hands Duracell Condoms - Keep going and going and going Pringles Condoms - Once you pop you can't stop Sydney Olympic Condoms - Share the spirit Hyundai Condoms - All day, everyday Tip top Condoms - Good onya mum Panasonic Condoms - Even more than you expected VB Condoms - As a matter of fact, I've got one now Swan lager Condoms - They said you'd never make it... Vegemite Condoms - Puts a rose in every cheek Harn Condoms - How can one man have so much talent Levi Condoms - Do you fit the legend Nescafe Condoms - It brings you together Quicken Condoms - Quicken easy *The following brands probally wont sell as well* Mitsubishi Condoms - Please consider AFL Condoms - I'd like to see that Goodyear Condoms - If it only saves you once a year... Samboy Condoms - The flavour really hits you TAC Condoms - Speed kills Nobby's Condom - Nibble Nobby's Nuts Bolle Condoms - Put them on your face Kahlua Condoms - Drink the rhythm 100% SEX WARNING: If you are under 16, you should not be viewing the following information!!! (well at least we tried! We all know your going to scroll down anyway!) SEX SLANG! (1) Blow job/going down/ head job THE REAL THING: Fellatio WHAT IS IT? Stimulation of the penis by kissing, licking or sucking. (2) Boner / stiffy / hard on / woody THE REAL THING: An erection WHAT IS IT? When the penis becomes hard and enlarged. It happens when a guy is sexually aroused. (3) Cum / spoof / spunk THE REAL THING: Semen WHAT IS IT? Fluid containing sperm that comes out of the penis before, during and after ejaculation. (4) Pussy / vag / snatch / clacker / muff THE REAL THING: Vagina WHAT IS IT? The female genitals. (5) Fingering THE REAL THING: Maturbation. WHAT IS IT? When a guy inserts his finger into a girls vagina. (6) Frigid / tight / prick tease THE REAL THING: Someone (usually a girl) who's scared of sexual intimacy. WHAT IS IT? An unfair assumption. (7) Going down / downtown THE REAL THING: Cunnilingus. WHAT IS IT? Stimulation of the vagina by kissing, licking, or sucking. (8) Norks / hotters / funbags / knockers / jugs / tits THE REAL THING: Breasts. WHAT IS IT? Mammory glands that feed babies and play an important part in sexual arousal. (9) One-eyed snake / knob / love muscle / old fella / donger THE REAL THING: Penis WHAT IS IT? The male genitals. (10) Shag / bonk / root / screw / nail / bone THE REAL THING: Sexual intercourse. WHAT IS IT? When a guy inserts his penis into a girl's vagina. (12) Hand job / spanking the monkey / slapping the salami / wanking / jacking off. THE REAL THING: Masturbation WHAT IS IT? Stimulation of the penis by rubbing or stroking. (13) 69er THE REAL THING: Simultaneous fellatio and cunnilingus. WHAT IS IT? When a couple give each other oral sex at the same time. (14) Skanky ho / slut / tramp THE REAL THING: A trashy girl who sleeps around. WHAT IS IT? An unfair assumption. |
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