The holidays are nearly upon us and I would give anything to spend them with you. Last year, though we had only known each other a month I had wished I was bringing in the new year with you. For once I had someone in my life I wanted to kiss at midnight and start the year off in your arms, instead I was watching movies with friends not even noticing till a few minutes passed that the year had begun. This year I want so much to spend Christmas with you and to hold you to me in a long kiss at midnight, I want 2003 to start in the way I want us to be all year long and for the rest of our lives, together and in love. Instead we will still have an ocean between us. I will be with family thinking constantly about where I wish I was, and you will be alone and maybe with friends on new year's eve. We've been together more than a year and yet two new years will have begun before we even touch each other, before I can hold your hand, look in your eyes, or even sit beside you.
I wish you weren't going to be alone. I should be there to give you a real Christmas. We could go to the shack, just you and me. We could go crazy with decorations and get totally infused in the holiday spirit. We could go to bed excited on Christmas eve and be like little kids in the morning tearing through presents. We could make a big turkey dinner with all the fixin's and fill ourselves with goodies. We could even write santa a wish list and mail it to the north pole, he writes back you know! We could take a late Christmas night walk along the beach or lay on the seashell sand and star gaze while we listen to the water at our feet. We could go to a new Year's Eve party or out for a romantic dinner and bring in the new year with a sweet kiss that lasts forever. We could wake up on January first and know that side by side is where we will wake up every morning to follow. I don't want to be without you this year, I love you so much that going to family gatherings for the holidays without you and starting another year without you in my arms hurts just thinking about it.
I know we have next year and every year after to be together and even if we are apart we are still together in our hearts and I know we will talk but I just want this year to. I want you with me at my cousins on Christmas eve hearing all the ridiculous stories everyone tells about their spouse's sleeping habbits...if you ever tell a story like that about me you are in t.r.o.u.b.l.e, haha. I want you there so I can introduce you to everyone as my gurlfriend and if we are ready for them to know, as my fiance. I want you there so you can laugh at how funny it is when the women in my family all start crying from laughing so much, I, um, I do it to, though usually more from laughing at them laughing so hard. And I want you there to tell your own stories so they can get to know you as a part of the family.
I want to spend every Christmas with you, every New Years, every birthday, every other special occassion and I want to spend every regular, unmentioned day with you to. I want the celebrated and the uncelebrated, the memorable and the day to day, and mostly I want the ordinary, the days that go by without a thought but are special because we are together.
I love you, near or far you will always be my one and only. |
