And she's so special she gets her own colour scheme
What if the day becomes night, light becomes dark, eyes close and morning never comes? What if my last thoughts of you tonight as I drift off to sleep will be the last thoughts I ever think? I can't bare the thought. The time we have spent waiting and wanting, making plans for the future could all be swept away in one quick swoop, in one blink of an eye it could all be gone. I know the love between us is strong enough and true enough to keep us going long after we are together but what if something happens that is beyond our control and our future is taken from us? I need to hold you in my arms, to feel your breathe on my cheek and your lips against mine. I need to look in your eyes, feel your body pressed against mine, and your fingers tracing burning trails on my skin. I need to see you smile, hear you laugh, and tell you I love you. Tomorrow has to come because I can't live without you but I can't die without you either.
I procrastinate. I procrastinate with everything, even somethings that have to do with you. I put off things till the last minute and always push myself in the end to get it done. I'm wasting time, loosing days of my life, and plummetting towards an inevitable end that could come any day, any second. I'm loosing time, and we're loosing time together and yet I sit here writing this instead of doing something to help us reach our future faster. This could be my last day on earth, my last breath could me mere minutes away, and I will loose my one chance to be truly, utterly happy as I lay content in your arms. What am I doing still sitting here? If I could I would jump on a plane tomorrow. Why wait till tomorrow? If I could I would jump on a plane today, this second but I can't. There's excuses, there's obstacles, there's the hope of tomorrows to come taking the urgency out of my desire. And I don't know what to do. I want to be with you more than anything in this world. I love you more than anything in this world. And I would die if I couldn't be with you. But in waiting patiently for our time to come, in all possibility I could die without being with you. And still I don't know what to do to ensure our future, to convince myself that when I go to my bed tonight thinking of you it wont be for the last time. I'm scared that something will happen to one or the other of us before we are together and our correspondence will end without a word of explanation, without a word of farewell, without a final I love you. If at some point time passes and I seem to be gone from your life, it will not be by choice and I will always be with you watching over you and someone will know to tell you what has happened.
I know life is unpredictable, that some things are beyond our control, but my love is something you can always count on whether near or far, body or soul. And if tomorrow never comes I will still die happy because I have met you and I know love. You are my everything, you have given me more joy then I ever dreamed of. I love you Lisa, today, tomorrow, and everday in this life and beyond...Tomorrow must come, the world can't be so cruel as to keep this distance between us only to have what we do have taken away on a last breath. And to prove it, I am off to bed to dream of you so I can wake up in the morning and hope for the day to bring you to me. Goodnight babygurl.