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2002-05-08
Lisa       previous next
I don't want to miss a thing
I'm having withdrawal. I just talked to you last night, though not nearly long enough. I can close my eyes and I see you. I can think of your words and I feel you. I can read your thoughts and I am with you, but I can't see that light in your eyes as Jazz sleeps in your arms. I can't see the smile spread across your lips when you are happy. I can't hear your laugh when you think something is funny. I can't even tell you I love you. I can type it a thousand times in a thousand ways and I can promise you forever. I can say I would give you the moon but it's beauty would pale when set next to you. I can say I would pick the stars from the sky and string them around your neck but you are the brightest star and their light would fade in yours. But when can I say I love you without the hum of the computer being the only sound in the room?  

I want so much to wake up with you in my arms, to hear your heart beating beneath my ear, to look in your eyes and be forever lost in heaven. I want to know that Jazz is sleeping soundly in the other room and feel her little body in my arms. I don't want to miss another day, another smile, another laugh, another tear in your lives. I don't want to miss a thing and yet I am missing everything. Days are too long. Conversations are too short. Feelings are too strong to not want the world and be sad occassionaly with only having an ocean. If I drop a tear in that ocean would you find it or would it to be missed like everything else?

Sometimes I try not to think about you, to push you to the back of my mind. I try to concentrate on anything but you and us but it doesn't work out so well. Not that I am unhappy to fail at not thinking about you, I embrace the failure but I wish much more that I was embracing you instead. I wish to that I wasn't writing this, that would mean that we were together and the only withdrawal I would be feeling would be for chocolate because you stole the last piece...punishment shall ensue;) 

I don't know when we will be together, but until then I love you Lisa a thousand times in a thousand ways and forever my heart is yours.
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