| I want to fly away on the cool spring breeze up above the clouds where only gentle whiteness surrounds me and sit up there letting myself be taken in like a shroud against my pain tears flowing into the rain pelting down on the world below cleansing everything of human stain raising in the air that smell so sweet pure of nature that I would let fill my senses purify my tattered soul dissolve away this constant ache my eyes burn from all the tears I've shed I don't want to cry anymore I want to be just be like I was meant to be with this concrete angel never touching ground because the clouds are where angels belong flying on wings of satin golden halos above their heads shining like the light I see from far away the one my eyes are blind to but my soul can see clear blinded sight its the colour of my tears the taste of my dreams floating away on a crashing ocean wave farther and farther into no where blue around me blue above me it hurts more the closer I get only to pushed back always back and back feeling like Im going to drown salty water covering my face familiar on my tongue as I drink too much I flounder heart racing legs kicking eyes tight shut willing myself not to be pushed anymore my fight growing weak without the certainty of the concrete angel there to pull me back to shore breathing life back into my limp body showing my blinded eyes the light coming closer until its close enough to touch to feel burning against my numbed existence until my eyes open wipe and no sound escapes my gaping mouth shuttling me back to the ocean the clouds the rain drenched streets the tear stained cheeks over and over back and forth until until until no body knows whats it like chasing a dream seen only with blinded sight stumbling daily on the things seen clearly believing what is wanted to be believed thinking strength means truth and protection when it only means more that isn't seen until its been fallen half over and the only option left is of throwing arms out wide hoping to be caught before burying my face ten feet in the ground tossing whatever hopes and feelings I have before me trying to soften the landing not sure if theyre enough or if they will just sink down with me will the concrete angel be there to pull my struggling feet out set me back on the ground dust me off and set me back in the direction of a dream my eyes are blind to hopefully not to be dreaming alone a stumble now surely to be caught by a soft wing and darkness swept away with the haloic glow I know I know I know tis as unsure as it is desired. |
