You know those three horns I was talking about in yesterday's entry, well I think I feel them starting to sprout. The homophobic woman I had been having a little arguement with through letters in the paper has apparently nothing left to say in responce to my thoughts, however she has now started up another arguement with another writer on the issue of gays being able to marry. She, of course, is against it, what homophobe like her wouldn't be. As she says "We should not allow homosexuals to make a mockery of marriage by legalizing their relationships and call them marriage." Funny, I didn't know loving someone and wanting to spend your life with them would make a mockery of something designed for people who love each other and want to be together forever. Sounds rather hypocritical to me. She goes on to say that allowing gay people to marry would cause more harm to us (gays) then it would do us good. In countries that are actually openminded about such relations, there is a higher divorce rate and death rate among gays than straights. Maybe it is true that gays have a lower success rate at staying together and maybe it is true that our death rate is higher because of AIDS and unprotected sex, but should we still not be able to enter into a union for these reasons as divorce and disease happen often among straight couples as well.
I believe it should be our choice to marry. Straight people commit to each other knowing the risks of divorce and disease, so shouldn't we also be allowed knowing the same risks? People, gay and straight, begin relationships hoping that this is the one and as they fall deeper in love they truly believe that they have found their soulmate and pray that what they share will never end. This is what marriage is. People don't get married with the belief that they will be divorced within a year, they set their sights on forever, but if they happen to divorce then well, sometimes it just happens. But that doesn't mean any couple that is like them will also end in divorce and it should be no reason to keep everyone like them from marrying.
When I get married, and believe me I will be married somewhere, someday and it will be legal in everyone's eyes, I will enter into it proudly with thoughts of forever in everyword of our vows. And I know we will work to stay together and keep our love flourishing, but if for some reason we end in divorce I will never regret having been given the chance to share a life together, and I won't feel as if I am now just a statistic in some woman's letters. I will be broken hearted, same as straight divorced couples, I will have lost my love, same as straight divorced couples, and I will have amazing memories of the love of my life, same as straight divorced couples, how does that make a mockery of marriage? Just because some loves end doesn't mean they all will. For some reason gay couple's do have a lower success rate, probably because of all the stress society places on our unions. When someone is stressed all the time, tempers are short and arguements ensue resulting in a lack of communication and in couples it could mean divorce. I admit that society and what other's think plays a big role in our lives, though it shouldn't. I have said many times I am self conscious because I worry what others will think of me. But what I do in my bedroom and with who should be my business and no one else's. (This of course does not mean I condone assault, unconsented sex, child pornography, beastiality, or others along that line) And what I do in public with my gurlfriend, kiss, hug, cuddle should also be my business and no one else's. I'm a grown up, I know what I am doing when I say I love a woman, I know what I'm doing when I get married, and I know I am not wrong for how I live.
Back in the old days when divorce was frowned upon people stayed together for the sake of society. Love was gone but the fear of what society would think of the divorcees kept rings on fingers and an illusion of happiness masked on people's faces. Now this has flipped. People in positions of power fear what society will think of them if they support gay marriages and so love is frowned upon unless you fit a certain set of standards. Divorce isn't looked down on now, but rather it is not even give the chance to be overcome by a long lasting love. We may be a minority, 11% or there abouts, but in a world of five billion people we comprise more than five hundrend million of that population. How can any sane person think that, that many people have chosen to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual? And how can anyone think that the rights of so many people should be taken away because we are a minority and in society minorities are reduced to second class status who don't rank high enough to be given the same rights as upper class citizens?
Homophobic individuals do much harm to other individuals, but homophobic societies do much harm to populations. |
