some entries have been taken from various diaries of mine
I really wanted to tell Sanita today. I was going over that line 'Sanita, I'm gay' just over and over trying to make it come out of my mouth one of the times but it never did. And I so very much wanted to. And I didn't get to talk to Lisa today, all I said was one line and then I left. She was on when I came in my room for my money when we were going to dinner and grociers, so all I could say was I wanted to talk but couldn't. I hate giving up chances to talk to her, she makes my days so much better. But one day it will be her that I go to dinner with and who I buy grociers with so I have a lifetime with her to look forward to.
One day we will have our life together and I won't need to think anymore about coming out cause when she is here it will be a lot easier, I will have much more motivation and desire to be out. Just so I can kiss her when I want, and hold her hand. I will be out when she is here or shortly after.