some entries have been taken from various diaries of mine
I have been talking to my girl and we have finally decided to exchange addresses. Funny, we gave our hearts in the first weeks of talking but not our addresses until now. We are going to exchange gifts, but I have no idea what to send. Something that only I can give her. I will think on the later.
She has also been saying that she is saving money now to come to be with me. She is going to leave Australia and come all the way to Canada so we can be together. I'm scared. What if she gets here and we just don't get on as we do online? Does she go back home? Does she stay in Canada? Do we stay friends? Do we make it work cause she came so far? And what if she comes, and for a while it works but then it goes sour, then what? She will have given up so much, and done so much so we could be together and for what, to discover that it, that I wasn't worth it? Honestly, how I feel right now, I'm not worth it. Going across your own country to be with someone, I can see, but leaving your country all together, going across oceans and entering a totally foreign country for love, that is a BIG thing. And a lot to go through if it doesn't work. If she comes we might be great together, but if we fight will she use the fact that she came to me as a form of guilt because I was too chicken or not committed enough to go to her? I don't think she would do that, but I know there are a lot of things I don't know about her and she doesn't know about me.
I should go, try to sleep, but if I do that I know I will just lay there trying to analyize everything and doubting something.
Oh, if only I could fly away for a moment, see my life from someone else's eyes, perhaps this would all seem clearer.
Goodnight all.