some entries have been taken from various diaries of mine
I don't know why I am like this.
I keep everything inside and it just festers until I want everything to just be...I don't know finished, over, gone.
I keep thinking that love will make it better, but maybe this is just me, this is how I will always be.
The darkness grows around me, enveloping me in its evil embrace. I can not run, I can not hide, it always follows.
I don't even always know why I feel this way, today it's because of love. Tomorrow who knows what it will be.
Maybe tomorrow won't come. Maybe the world will end tonight and all my pain will be gone.
Will I ever be happy?
I just want to forget my life. Just fly away and never look back. If only I could fly. But where would I fly? There is no escape from my thoughts. I try to hide and they hide with me. I try to run and they run with me. The only way to end my thoughts is to end myself and though I sometimes wish I could, that is not the answer. At some point things have to get better for me...don't they? I'll just have to fight and struggle and make it through to happiness. Sit through the rain to get the rainbow. Plant the seeds to get the flower. Deal with depression to find happiness. And sleep right now to wake up tomorrow a few hours closer to something more, something better.