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2001-12-28 - 1:00 a.m.
lost opportunities
To be or not to be that was never the question. To tell or not to tell now that is the question or rather how and when to tell. Once again I have not told Carleen. I thought I would get the chance today but didn't have enough time. I could have told her this morning before Holly came but I didn't want to leave right after so we could talk if she wanted. Same with when she came back from town before Bill came, there wouldn't have been enough time.

Sitting at McDonalds with Melissa, Amanda, and Holly I wanted to tell them. Especially when Holly said that we had nothing to talk about. I could have given them something to talk about. And when Raj was asking what was new I could have told her and Melissa then, but held back. It has to come at the right time for everyone, not when I am frustrated at what is being said or when I want revenge or when I am ready to just blurt it out. This is a touchy subject unfortunately so I have to time it right.
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