Prior to Scotland’s independence, in the closing days of the twentieth century, a disenchanted group detached themselves from Clan Fraser. Notable amongst this rebellious band taking to the hills were Che MacSimidh, Comrade Eve MacSimidh and Fidel MacSimidh (none of whom are related). This wasn’t long after the Fraser Gathering, which was more a fair, than a gathering. The schism wasn’t due to the hereditary chiefs. One, of whom in the House of Lords, declared metaphorically that Scotland was a damsel in distress and England, it’s knight in shining armor. Also reported were some unethical dealings with feudal land titles. Then there was rumour that the new lad lord of Lovat was planning to earn his fortune and buy a castle through growing grapes and producing wine. In Scotland? Well, what do expect when birthright supercedes merit over the generations.

What stuck in the craw of our heretics, was sept-nic cleansing. Certain Frasers, particularily of the North American persuasion, arrogantly denied that the septs are true members of the clan. (Except when raising money.)  Yet, without the septs, Fraser history would be another tale entirely. These fantasists, inebriated with Hollywood romanticism, deluded themselves into believing they were feudal royalty.  Who needs them? They’ll not look down their snooty noses at us, by golly.

Furthermore, back in the 17th century, our parthenogenesis was prophesied by Coinneach Odhar, the Brahan Seer. This prophecy was recently discovered, hastily scribbled on a soggy beer mat.

In more recent times, the United Nations offered Clan Simidh territory as a homeland. All the way over on the eastern end of the Mediterranean. They reckoned the locals wouldn’t cause any problems if we moved in and took over. Nah, cheers.

Clan Simidh Liberation Navy

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