Week 13

I have begun work on my web page. I knew from the beginning I wanted to weave a dressage theme into the web page for my teaching portfolio. I’ve missed dressage since arriving in Muncie.  Sometimes I think the only time I have ever been completely relaxed is when I’m around horses.  Working with Frontpage at BSU and Comcast trying to upload my web pages was a struggle—I didn’t understand FTP, or a file would upload, but the images wouldn’t appear.  That process was frustrating, and there were several nights I worked until after midnight and woke up at 4 a.m. to work on the web page again.  During this time, I was also working on a Powerpoint presentation for my critical book review in 605, as well as creating a writing prompt for my Ivy Tech students’ final essay, finishing a research paper for 690, AND working on a research paper proposal for 601.  The proposal was the one item put on the back burner until I could give the project more thought and time.  Thoughts of Christmas in Missouri with Dan keep me going, but I also have to stay focused on what I’m trying to accomplish before the end of the semester. 

In the course of working on the PowerPoint presentation for the book review, I posted on the WPA list serve to try to elicit responses from the “old veterans” on memoir in FYC.  I wasn’t entirely convinced that memoir was appropriate for FYC, and I needed additional input.  This is what I wrote:

I am a doctoral assistant working on a presentation of memoir (writing and
reading) in the FYC.  I would be interested in learning what you feel are
pros and cons for both faculty and students with this particular genre in
FYC. Is it beneficial?  Detrimental?  Would you teach memoir the entire
semester or only a portion of the semester?

Thank you for your input.

Cindy Fletcher

 Ball State University

I received this response on my private email account from Shane Sullivan:

Cindy--
First of all, you aren't a doctoral assistant anymore, are you? 

I went through a 4 week session of teaching memoir in Kris F's class.
Let me tell you the pros and cons:  pros:  they learn something about
themselves they haven't gathered before--and this takes lots of more
work for the TEACHER--which I don't think you are anymore, are you?  I'm
confused as to why you are asking this question?  It isn't detrimental,
but, you really have to care about the students and their feelings if
your are going to teach memoir.  I noticed on your syllabus that you had
students write about who they wouldn't want on the earth anymore or
something like that.  I wouldn't teach memoir if I were you.

The cons of teaching memoir:  if you fuck it up, you do more harm than
anyting else--you might as well teach spelling.
           S.
  

Well.  That was interesting.  I had to mull the message over for awhile.  My first response was to send an automatic “fuck you.”  I sent this response:

Shane:
  I am confused as to why you are so concerned regarding my status as a
doctoral assistant.  As far as I am concerned, I am a doctoral assistant
until the end of the semester.  Just because I am leaving BSU does not mean
I will no longer teach.  I asked these questions as I am presenting tomorrow
in 605 on memoir in FYC for my book review, and I wanted to gain some
insight from faculty members.  I hope this meets with your approval.

 Cindy

 
Shane responded to my response:

I didn't mean to sound so gruff.  Really.  My approval isn't required,
allthough it should be mandatory for everyone!  I think memoir is one of
the most challenging things to teach for two reasons:  1: even if they
get it, they have a hard time putting it to practice and 2: when they do
get it, and use it well--they have a hard time looking at the face they
find in the mirror.  Teaching them spelling would be easier, I think
teaching memoir is a "be careful what you ask for kind of moment."  Good
luck to you Cindy.  If you ever need my approval, I'll get you a note!
That's a joke!  Shane.

Followed by a second response:

 I suppose as a member of the list-serve, and since I know you--I do have
the right to be able to guage if you are who you choose to represent
yourself as (probably bad grammar).  I won't split hairs because it
isn't worth our time, but if I quit a program one day I would have a
hard time sending my credentials out over the world wide web on that
same day.  Like I say, I don't mean to waste your time or mine, but it
struck a bad chord in me--I still do wish you the best of luck though!
I have a better understanding of it now that you have your presentation
today.  You were simply seeking information. 

 Shane.

I’m still not quite sure what his argument was.  For some reason, the way I worded my posting on the WPA list serve struck a nerve with Shane.  I’m not sure what else I could have done.  I’m not quitting before the semester is over—every assignment will be done to the best of my ability, and I don’t believe it is Shane’s prerogative to question my completing the semester or how I complete the semester.  This is not the first time he has questioned something I have done.  I don’t know what he has done with the other students in the class, but I certainly don’t feel I have to answer to Shane. This is one of the reasons I am not following through on a doctorate—I don’t want to jump through the hoops anymore.   

Week 14

Frantic, frantic, frantic.  I may be able to post week 14 at a later time, but right now, I am desperately trying to save myself from drowning. 

Week 15