A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or the nearby scurrying mouse.
Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there really is a good reason to change direction.
Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters will attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of the cat, where all heat flows to the cat.
Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of nap just taken.
Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.
Law of Cat Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.
Law of Cat Obstruction
A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.
Law of Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant speed, until he is good and ready to stop.
Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.
First Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.
Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.
Law of Random Comfort Seeking
A cat will always seek and take over the most comfortable spot in any given room.
Law of Bag/Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in any given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nano-second.
Law of Cat Embarrasment
A cat's irritation rises in proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
Law of Milk Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.
Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid-section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.
Law of Fluid Displacement
A cat immersed in milk will displace his own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.
Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expend in trying to interest him.
Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
Law of Selective Listening
Although a cat can hear a can of tuna being opened a mile away, he can't hear a simple command three feet away.
Law of Equidistant Separation
All cats in a given room will locate at points equidistant from each other, and equidistant from the center of the room.
Law of Cat Invisibility
Cats think that if they can't see you, then you can't see them.
Given enough time, a cat will land in just about any space.
Law of Concentration of Mass
A cat's mass increases in direct proportion to the comfort of the lap he occupies.
Law of Cat Probability
It is not possible to predict where a cat actually is, only the probability of where he "might" be.
Law of Cat Obedience
As yet undiscovered
Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.