I Dedicate this page to my friends at…

Intelligent Idiots!

This is my page to idiots. Those of you that are idiots get made fun of right. (ha ha ha LOL) Well this is for idiots with a high IQ. I made this page and any idiotic thing I find I will put here for your enjoyment. If any idiots read this do something stupid, tell me, and I will probably post right here. Home Page Here

You can find my e-mail if you visit the rest of my site. So here they are all the stories I have gathered and some quizzes. The quizzes are done sorry I forgot about them. Read carefully on some. NEWS UPDATE IDIOTS ON THE LOOSE!! Also REDNECK DRIVERS LICENSE APPLICATION here today and Things to do at WALMART! Yo! Things to do or not to do! There are about 5-6 stories on this page here and I keep adding them good or bad so keep sending them and come often!

Hey look MONEY!!

1 A man goes into a café and sits down. A waitress comes to take his order, “What’s the special of the day? ”The man asked. “Chili” she says, “but the gentleman next to you got the last bowl.” The man says he’ll just have a coffee, and the waitress goes to fetch it. As he waited, he noticed the man next to him was eating a full lunch and the bowl of chili remained uneaten. “Are you going to eat your chili?” he asked. “No, help yourself,” replied his neighbor. The man picked up a spoon and eagerly began devouring the chili. When he got halfway though the bowl, he noticed the body of a dead mouse in the bottom of the bowl. Sickened, he puked the chili he had just eaten back into the bowl.

The man sitting next to him says, “Yeah, that’s as far as I got, too.”

LOL okay I think the worst is over here comes the next, but you got to admit idiots can be funny.

2 A ‘Bunny Hugger’ is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but… unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what became of the rabbit (mistake!) Much to his dismay,

The…

Rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry. L A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man what’s wrong?

“I feel terrible,” he explains, ”I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it.” The blonde says, “Don’t worry.” She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. (Do you know it yet)? She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit. The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops turns and waves again, hops ten more feet turns and waves, hops another ten feet and waves, and repeats this again until he hops out of sight. The man astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, “What is in the can? What did you spray on that rabbit?”

The woman turns the can and read the label. It says-

(Are you ready for this?)

(Are you sure?)

(This is good)

(You know you could click off and not read the punch line)

(You know your gonna be sorry!!)

(Last chance)

(Okay here it is)

It says, “Hair spray-Restore life to dead hair, adds permanent wave.”

I’m sure you heard it before. That’s it so e-mail me more stories or jokes or quizzes.

A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a

cave. Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols, in

this order of appearance: A women - A donkey - A shovel - A fish and the

Star of David.

They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at least

three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archaeologists from all over the world came to

study the ancient symbols.

They held a huge meeting, after months of conferences, to discuss the

meaning of the markings. The president of the society stood up and pointed

at the first drawing and said: "This looks like a woman. We can judge

that

the race was family oriented and held women in high esteem. You can also

tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol resembles a donkey, so,

they

were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.

The next drawing looks like a shovel of some sort, which means they even

had

tools to help them. Even further proof of their high intelligence was in

the

fish, which means that if a famine had hit the earth, whereby the food

didn't grow, they would take to the sea for food.

The last symbol appears to be the Star of David, which means they were

evidently Hebrews. The audience applauded

enthusiastically.

Suddenly a little old man stood up in the back of the room and said:

"Idiots! Hebrews read from right to left.

It says: Holy Mackerel, Dig the Ass on that Woman!"

The Amish Elevator

 An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this, Father?"  The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button.  The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.  The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the  walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in

 the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous,

voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.  The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Go get your Mother."

This is a sad story because it just isn’t a very good day.

There's this guy on at bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and gulps it down.

The poor man starts crying.

The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outraged, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police, they say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison!!!"

Thank you for comin I add new things to this page every so often. Come back soon.J

Do not copy any jokes listed unless it is your joke and you are the one that gave it to me and for people that came here through the Intelligent Idiot web ring you know stupid people are not Idiots just natural comedians GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE Ó 2000