These are thoughts from Alzheimer's patients. Keep them in mind when dealing with your loved one.

Mood swings are part of the disease. I can't control them and they are not specifically directed at you.

I know you think that I should recognize you, but sometimes you may look like my mother, son, sister, or whoever. When that happens, do your best to try to be whoever I think you are for the moment.

I am often frightened and confused so I may create a place of safety for myself in my mind. If I say that I want to go home or back to school, don't keep dragging me back to your reality. Let me stay where I feel comfortable for as long as I need to be there.

My eyesight and hearing are all messed up. So is my body temperature sometimes. Yes, I can be cold on a summer's day. Talk to me to my face, speak slowly, don't yell and screech. Don't keep asking me why I can't see or hear something.

My sense of smell is also going, so that means my taste in foods is changing. Please be flexible about my meals.

My speech is garbled, maybe gone completely, but I can still communicate somewhat with my eyes and body language. Try to pay attention to such signals.

Yes, I probably did know that 'something' was wrong before anyone else noticed or I went to a doctor. I just couldn't explain it, besides I was frightened and upset.

I cannot sit quietly in a chair or stay in bed all day. Sometimes I have to just move physically. Keep my pathways safe so that I can walk around. Remind me to rest on occasion.

Don't expect me to learn and retain new things, my memory doesn't work that well anymore and your efforts will only frustrate both of us.

Please don't feel that you have to insist on telling me the truth about everything, it is not always helpful. Like you, there's little I can do about bad news and telling me about it over and over until I 'understand' only adds to my stress, and stress is very bad for me.

If I am not a danger, I don't have to be medicated just because I am loud and overactive. I know it may be an annoyance to you, but I can't help it.

Don't hurry me. Hurrying me tends to make me forget and then I get confused.

Don't keep asking me questions. This frustrates me and makes me feel like I am being tested.

If I forget something, remind me gently. If I forget that someone is coming to visit, or that I am due somewhere, help me to realize that it is OK if we are a little late or that everything is not ready.

When I forget, either laugh with me or hug me, but please do not try to make excuses for me. When you do that, it makes me angry and I feel that you do not understand what I am feeling inside.

When I say I don't know how to do something, just come and help me. No words are needed and chances are that tomorrow I may be able to do it on my own.

When I tell you something 'dumb' that I did, please listen and try to understand that I am really trying to tell you that I am scared and hurting. I need to be loved and given time to talk about what is happening to me.

Try to understand that some days I almost convince myself that there is nothing wrong with me-and then there are days when I have no doubt that my head is not working normally and that's when you are apt to find me down in spirit.

Please include me in as many functions as possible. If it's something like a wedding, take me, maybe bring a second caregiver. If I act up, walk with me quietly out of the room until I settle down. A few minutes delay won't ruin anything, and if others are upset, it will help them to understand that this, too, is part of life. My behavior may need an explanation, but it is not something to be embarrassed about, don't keep me locked away from the world.

Don't think ill of me for taking off all my clothes. My skin can become very sensitive and I may need a mild pain reliever to help me.

If I'm suffering from depression, a mild mood elevator may help. Don't expect me to 'snap out of it'.

I am not a 'dirty old man' if I make a pass at a young woman. I may just be flashing back to my youth when that was acceptable. Please don't be upset because I find someone attractive. Just tell me politely that it is not acceptable-and be aware that it may happen again.

Don't assume that I am useless because I have Alzheimer's. Don't treat me as a child. Let me do tasks that I can still handle so that I know I am still important.

Keep me active and treat me as you always have. I'm still the same person. I just have a memory problem.

I am still capable of sharing love and affection. Hold my hand, give me a hug, kiss my cheek and tell me you love me-then I know that I still matter to you.

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