Dictionary.com defines activism as a policy of taking direct and militant action to achieve a political or social goal. While I am the first to admit that I'm not really militant about anything, I think it is still a decent definition.
I have become the one thing I refused to become even in college. I am an activist. But for what goal would I be pushing? It's simple really. If you have read anything in my site, you know that my main focus has always been to raise awareness. I want other mothers to know that they are most definitely not alone. And I want the world to know that mothers of loss are people too. The babies that we lost were not fetuses or pieces of tissue; they were real little people. They were not mistakes or misguided bunches of cells. They were little babies that we loved and planned for. Mothers of loss are so often treated as though the loss of their precious children was their fault. Surely we did something, said something, thought something, ate something or wanted attention thus causing our children to flee our wombs or shrivel up into non-people in those same wombs. And the thought that we could still be grieving their losses one week, one year or 50 years afterwards is preposterous to strangers, family, friends and yes even sometimes our mates.
The Internet has created such an opportunity for people all across the globe to connect. People have met their spouses over the Internet, and have reconnected to long lost friends, or found new friends. Groups are formed with a common interest in everything from James Marsters (Spike) from Buffy the Vampire Slayer to cancer survivors. Is it a wonder then, that so many women have come forward? Is it surprising that once our eyes have been opened to other mothers, that we refuse to grin and bear the loss(es) of our children, cast them aside as an experience, pretend to be happy for outward appearances, believing that these things are God's will and that everything happens for the best, so certainly we must learn to accept that our children died and just get pregnant again to make up for the loss(es) that really shouldn't have bothered us that much to begin with, because in many cases our children weren't babies yet and why would be so upset over pieces of tissue we really didn't know? The Internet has given mothers of loss an opportunity to scream in the face of these silly little non-truths that have held our ancestors down for centuries, forcing them to grieve silently.
My generation is not silent about anything. We refuse to just get over the deaths of our children. We will grieve and you will listen to us talking. We will educate you that platitudes (a thought or remark which is flat, dull, trite, or weak . . .) simply will not do. Do we anger you, offend you or frighten you? We do not necessarily mean to. We simply want to educate you despite the fact that you have been angering and offending us for ions. You need to realize that babies do die. If you continue to ignore this fact, they will continue to die. Many pass away and no reason is given to the mother as to why her child is not with her. This must end. With education comes answers. And with answers we can work for prevention. We hope that you will join us in our fight to demand a change. It is difficult for us to bend the ear of the public, when you have been taught to ignore us for so long. We use to be you, we know how you think. We have stereotypes to overcome. I have not met a single mother of loss who is a baby-snatcher. In my high school sophmore typing class, however I sat next to a girl who later killed all three of her children. The last thing that mothers of loss want is for other mothers to join our ranks. We are members in a club that no one wants to join. And yet you are confused because we don't hide our lost children from you. If we denied they existed, we would deny a part of ourselves. And furthermore, babies would just keep dieing for no reason.
Maybe for future babies sakes we need to be militant and maybe after thinking about it, I am a militant activist for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness. But maybe we should all be. Because the outcome of the beginning of life should never be an untimely death.
What is being done about Awareness on a (US) national and global scale?
-KotaPress houses an online loss journal and the widely famous Loss Dictionary.
-Mothers In Sympathy and Support (M.I.S.S.) is a nonprofit volunteer based organization that helps families cope with the loss of their children. They have support groups in some areas and appear to be ever expanding. They provide many wonderful services for families of loss.
-Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death (M.E.N.D.) is another support site. They publish a newsletter with over 1,400 subscribers.
-The Remembering Our Babies Campaign works to get all of the 50 states as well as the national government to sign proclamations making October 15th Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I was state leader for a time, and I even have the official proclamation sitting in my home office - waiting for that right frame. But, committments to a past job, made it nearly impossible to keep up with for a second year, so sadly I had to give it up. What an experience though. If you have the time and really want to feel like you have done something for others, volunteer for the this amazing campaign.
If you know of any other organizations that should be listed here, please Email me.
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