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| While some of these might be perfectly acceptable to you and even others, most people will proabably agree that these foods do not hold universal appeal, and are therefor probably not the best choices for weddings. If something written below offends you, our deepest apologies, that was not our intention. |
| Meeter's Kraut Juice (Stokely USA, A Chiquita Company) Yes, that's sauerkraut juice, which is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a bit, well, harsh, but KJ is reputed by its fans to have certain medicinal benefits (as a source of vitamin C, cure for intestinal bugs, etc.), which adds up to a classic case of the cure being worse than the disease. (Photo) |
| Guycan Corned Mutton with Juices Added (Bedessee Imports) The best thing about this Uruguayan canned good is the very pouty-looking sheep on the package label -- he seems to be saying, "Go on, eat me already." The second-best thing is the presence of both "cooked mutton" and "mutton" in the ingredients listing, which would seem to have all the mutton bases covered. |
| Armour Pork Brains in Milk Gravy (Armour, a Dial Corporation Company) If you're really looking to clog up those arteries in a hurry, you'll be pleased to learn that a single serving of pork brains has 3500 mg cholesterol (1,170 percent of our recommended daily intake). All the more ingenious, then, that the label on this product helpfully features a recipe for brains and scrambled eggs. Pork brains, milk. Less than 2 percent: Water, corn starch, salt, sodium nitrite. (Photo) |
| Sweet Sue Canned Whole Chicken (Bryan Foods, Inc.) From its size (think growth-impaired Cornish hen) to its overall appearance (it's stewed in a quivering mass of aspic goop), this product may change forever your idea of what constitutes a chicken. Gives new meaning to the old line about meat "falling off the bone." See this page all about Sweet Sue Canned Whole Chicken |
| Musk Life Savers (Nestle Confectionery) You may think musk is a scent, but over in Australia, they think it's a candy flavor. A candy flavor that tastes disturbingly like raw meat, to be precise. But what did you expect from a country where everyone happily consumes Vegemite? (Photo) |
| Blind Robins Smoked Ocean Herring (discontinued by Bar Food Products) Possibly the world's most bizarre prepackaged tavern snack. Interestingly, the product's titular robin isn't actually blind, he's blindfolded -- the better, presumably, to avoid looking at these heavily salted herring strips, which look like giant slugs. |
| Kylmaenen Reindeer Pate` (Kylmaenen Oy) This Finnish canned good may not be particulary tasty, but at least it answers the age-old question of why Rudolph was so eager for that safe, steady job on Santa's sleigh team -- he didn't want to end up a cracker spread. |
| Tengu Clam Jerky (Tengu Co.) Nothing you've ever consumed can prepare you for the horror that is clam jerky. Still, this product does score a sort of conceptual coup: If you're the sort who's always found raw clams too slimy and gelatinous for your taste, these dried, shriveled mollusks will help you dislike clams on a whole new level. (Photo) |
| Yoder's Pork Pudding (Yoders) Ingredients: Pork head meat, Pork, Pork liver, Pork broth, Pork hearts, Pork tongues, Salt, Spice Serving suggestions: Contents are packed in solid mass, which will melt to a soft consistency when heated . . . Delicious with corn mush or pancakes. (Photo) |
| Beverly Bulk Sausage With Natural Juices (Foell Packing Co) The first four entries on the ingredients listing are beef tripe, pork stomachs, beef heart meat, and partially defatted beef fatty tissue. (Photo) |
| Armour Potted Meat Food Product (Armour, a Dial Corporation Company) The ingredients listed on the label: Chicken, Beef Tripe, Partially Defatted Cooked Pork Fatty Tissue, Beef Hearts, Partially Defatted Cooked Beef Fatty Tissue, Water, Salt, 2 percent or less: Natural Flavorings, Vinegar, Dextrose, Sodium Erythorbate, Sodium Nitrite. (Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 3 | Front Photo | Back Photo) |
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Many of these and more can be found in the book Inconspicuous Consumption : An Obsessive Look at the Stuff We Take for Granted, from the Everyday to the Obscure,  Buy It! from Amazon.com |
Copyright © 1996-1998 Steve and Rachel Hauben