Frequently Asked Questions

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When is the due date?

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The doctor says August 9. Mike thinks August 14-16. Christy says the sooner, the better.

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Is it a boy or a girl?

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We�re not sure, but we think a boy is more likely based on a combination of scientific evidence, pseudoscientific experimentation, and witchcraft.

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How is Christy doing?

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She�s doing great. She is having no difficulty with daily activities, other than sitting, walking around, and sleeping.

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How many pounds did Christy gain so far?

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There is a simple formula for this. Take your IQ, divide by 2, add 40, and multiply by 1.6. The answer is what your IQ would need to be for you to know not to ask that question.

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Did you pick out a name?

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We are leaning towards Peter for a boy and Holly for a girl. You can vote for a middle name by clicking here. You can only vote once from each computer. If you use these names for your baby, we will hunt you down until the sweet lord takes our last breath.

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Will my vote in your middle name poll be given any consideration?

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Absolutely. We will give your opinion at least as much consideration as Dan Quayle�s opinion in the Bush White House.

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How is the nursery coming?

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It�s pretty much done, except Mike needs to put up the ceiling fan. He may wait for the baby to arrive first, since this spectacle is likely to provide hours of amusement. For some pictures of the nursery, click here

Can I send a gift? What do you still need?

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In lieu of gifts, we would prefer you make a donation to our favorite charity. Please send your donation in unmarked bills to our home address and we will forward it to the appropriate charities as needed.

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If you insist on a gift, we are all set on bibs and receiving blankets. Clothes are good.

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You better get a lot of sleep now while you can! LOL!! ;-)

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First of all - that is not a question. Second of all � gee, thanks, we�ll make sure we do! (you rat bastard).

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How can you bring a baby into this cold world filled with cruelty, famine, and Microsoft?

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None of these things exist in our made-up town of South Riding. We believe that a virtuous child can give back more to the world than he/she takes through a combination of benevolence and integrity that we will instill. Also, we need free help with the yardwork.

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