Wraith (1986)

Cast:

Charlie "Wasn't I hitting on Jennifer Grey in Ferris Bueller's Day Off?" Sheen is Jake
Randy "Coasting along until Independence Day casts me..." Quaid is Sheriff Loomis
Sherilyn "Boxing Helena isn't a boxing movie..." Fenn is Keri
Nick "Shutup, I was a supporting character in Face-Off" Cassavetes is Packard
Clint "Ron Howard, please give me another job...." Howard is Rughead

What the box says:

He is a phantom - a wraith. He is a mysterious, other wordly stranger. An evil force took his life. Now an unearthly power has brought him back. He has a destiny to fulfill, a woman's love to reclaim, and he's determined to wage a vendetta against the young punks who put him in this situation in the first place. This supernatural tale pits an enigmatic avenger against a bizarre and brutal band of maurauders who have been wreaking havoc on a small desert town. But time soon runs out for the wraith to reclaim his past - and his future - as he is pitted against his eneimies in this action-thriller.

Plot:

An energy globe lands on the ground and forms into an unearthly car. A guy in battle armor stands beside it.

I am the Terminator. Which way to Sarah Connor?

At night, a couple is driving down the road when 3 cars pull them off the road. Packard Walsh, the gang leader, wants to race the guy for pink slips not ladies unmentionables but for car titles. The goons grab the guy�s girl for insurance so he�ll return if he loses.

The race is on. Sparks fly and guardrails are scraped. They return. Packard won the race by cheating. The guy is mad about losing his car but him and his girl walk back to town.

Day, Jake drives up on a motorcycle and meets Keri. Packard drives up to pick her up. Packard somehow gets the feeling he knows Jake. I wonder if that is a plot point. Anyways, Packard tells Keri she is his and his only for the first of many times.

Beach fu ensues. Jake meets Billy who explains that Keri was his brothers, Jamie�s girlfriend before he was killed. Jake can�t keep from staring at the bikini clad Sherilyn Finn. Jarring flashback to Packard killing Jamie.

Packard has the goons watch it Jake or Billy get close to Keri.

In the water, Jake manages to talk to Keri she offers to meet him some night before Packard calls her away.

At the local drive-in, mini-skirted roller-skating midriff baring carhops wheel around as Robert Palmer is heard for the montage. Packard and the goons: Augie, Skank, and Gutterboy, keep Billy from taking Keri home. Packard is about to make Billy race for pink slips when an unearthly Dodge Interceptor pulls up. The car draws psycho leader and the gang away.

They follow the Wraith�s car to the highway. Augie decides he gets to race the Wraith. During the race, they scream down the road by some cops. Suddenly, Augie crashes into the Wraith�s car that is pulled across the road. Augie crashes off a nearby cliff. The Interceptor rematerializes and drives away. The cops find Augie�s flaming wreckage.

Sheriff Loomis arrives and talks with Packard about Augie. Psycho-leader doesn�t even seem disturbed about Augie�s death but demands his right to attorney.

The paramedics show Loomis that Augie�s body wasn�t charred but looks like he died of fright. I wonder if that is a plot point. The goons don�t mention anything about the Dodge Interceptor.

Later, Packard wants Rughead to get the new car equipment ready. Packard threaten Keri again and promises that she will love him or else.

Back at the chop shop, Rughead keeps working on installing the radar jamming equipment for the car. The Wraith approaches and busts inside. Packard warns him to leave or else. Jarring flashback to Jamie�s death. Hemicuda annihilation ensues. The Wraith uses his big effin� gun to blow large holes in the cars in the shop. He doesn�t fill Packard with a few more holes the size of basketballs but suddenly vanishes. The goons are understandably freaked out by the previous events.

The next day, Sheriff Loomis questions Skank and Gutterboy about who raced with Augie.

Back at the drive-in, Loomis spots Packard and his merry gang of idiots arrives. The car stealers haven�t been able to find anything about the Interceptor. Packard finds a note on his car where the Wraith will be.

The Wraith�s car streaks by, Jock boy wants to race his recently repaired Hemicuda against the unearthly vehicle. The cops pull up. HOT PURSUIT (huh-coo-coooo, sorry Dukes of Hazzard reference�) to a 80s rockin� song. Down the road, Jock sees that the Wraith�s car is parked across the road and Jock crashes in it. Exploding cars ensue. Wraith�s car rematerializes and drives off. The cops chase after the Wraith. He crashes through their road block. The cops still chase after him and suddenly, the Wraith�s car has disappeared.

That night, Jake drives Keri home. Skank and Gutterboy spot them together and decide to chase after them. Gutterboy accidentally tries shooting out Jake�s tires but misses. Skank crashes the car.

At her house, let the suckin� of face ensue. Jake tries to convince her to stand up to Packard. Jake asks her on a date to the beach the next day. Packard watches the 2 of them.

Packard follows Jake when he rides off but loses him. Psycho leader finds Skank and Gutterboy. Suddenly, the Wraith�s car crashes Packard�s car into the nearby cemetery. The goons try to hunt down the Wraith. Packard finds a tombstone with his name on it. He gets out of boot hill posthaste.

The next day, in the chop shop, Packard and a random blonde strumpet are getting it on in the vernacular of Mills Lane. Sheriff Loomis busts in unbothered by the couple in flagrante delecti. He finally has a warrant for Packard.

Jake and Keri ride to the beach. She tells him about her dreams of Jamie. Jarring flashback to the goons grabbing Jamie ensues. The couple begins swappin� spit before let the love ensue to an 80s soft rock song.

Police station, Loomis can get Packard or the goons to talk.

Jake drops Keri off at her house.

At the chop shop, Skank and Gutterboy are working on some cars. Rughead wants to get out of town and leaves the shop right before the Wraith pulls up. The Wraith guns his car drives into the chop shop and explodes. Rughead sees the Wraith drive away.

Loomis and the deputies are on the scene. Rughead is sure the Wraith is Jamie and that Packard killed him.

Loomis visits Billy to learn more about Jamie. The good sheriff learns that Keri was his girlfriend. She was knocked unconscious and doesn�t know what happened. Jake drops Keri off at the drive-in. She warns him not to confront Packard. The motorcyclist reveals he only has a short time left.

Packard pulls up and drags Keri off with him. Billy tires to come to her rescue and is beaten for his trouble.

Packard drives off with Keri. He plans on going to Californiaaaay. Keri finally realizes that Packard killed her boyfriend. Wow, how could she come to such a deep jump of logic? She promises never to love him. The Interceptor pulls up beside them. Packard will race him.

The final race ensues. The deputies are in HOT PURSUIT PURSUIT (huh-coo-coooo, sorry Dukes of Hazzard reference�). Excellent car trailer crash ensues. Wraith is still heading down the road.

Packard sees the Wraith standing in the middle of the road and as he hits him the Dodge Interceptor hits psycho-boy�s car from the opposite direction. The Interceptor wreckage disappears.

Keri hears the wreck.

Loomis gets to the scene of the crash and finds Packard. He is sure that it is all over now. There is no left in Packard�s gang to kill.

That night, Keri finally walks back to town when the Interceptor pulls up beside her. The armored driver gets out. A light show converts the Wraith into Jake. Keri realizes he is actually Jamie. He has one more errand before they can leave town.

At the drive-in, Jake hands the keys to Billy and leaves. Billy finds the Interceptor and realizes that Jake was Jamie.

Loomis in watch and spots Keri drive off with Jake into the night.

What I say:

I've been looking for a good 80s movie to review. Not good as in gripping. I've been trying to think of a movie that is good definition of the 80s. Something that oozes 80s kitsch and since I still haven't gotten around to watching Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo yet. A Miami Vice type cop movie would work. However, I'm not going to search that hard for Band of the Hand have it on VHS somewhere around here. A movie that clearly looks like it came out of the 80s that captures its essence like the characters in Return of the Living Dead had the punker, mohawk guy, jock, valley chick, etc...

Man is killed and returns as a stranger to seek revenge on the gang that killed him. Why that plot sounds so familiar? If I were making a movie with that plot, I'd include a midget, frame the story as a Western, have Clint Eastwood star in it, and call the movie High Plains Drifter. Wait, that is a bad idea. Who would want to watch a movie like that? Well, we set the movie in current time with a group of goons that are extremely different: punk, jock, etc...and have them slowly hunted by a guy that resembles he's wearing a cross between an astronaut suit with some sort of pseudo-exo-skeleton. By the way, since Knight Rider is really popular, let's give the guy a supernatural car to hunt down the villain with, too.

I first remember watching this on cable off one of the superstations. Does anyone else remember when channels actually played movies instead of totally annoying and insipid sitcoms like "Friends"? Remember when channels like USA, TNT, and TBS showed movies on Monstervision, Up All Night, or 100% Weird?

This isn't the first car movie I've reviewed. Fast and the Furious and Hot Rod Girl were made in the 1950s and seemed to have more a time capsule vibe of that decade. Not that the Wraith is lacking in that department with the blaring soundtrack featuring Billy Idol, Stan "Transformers: the Movie soundtrack" Bush, Robert Palmer, Ozzy Trick or Treat Osbourne, among others that just need Huey Lewis and the News for the mid 80s super hat-trick.

OK, Packard besides being a raving nut-job in the vernacular of mental health profession. He steals Jamie's car through trickery, later kidnaps him while boning the sweet Keri, and later kills him. The part that Keri was knocked put and didn't see anyone until she thought that it was Packard at the very end reeks of plot desperation not that anyone in the audience missed the fact that Packard is hateful and violent so he is automatically the villain and must be responsible for everything since it is gang that is being hunted down. Fearless psycho boy isn't even very angry that the Wraith is killing off the members of his gang. How crazy is he? Any guy that cuts the palm of his own hand while promising not to let her go should be in a nice rubber room having several Thorazine big-gulps a day. Packard is so insanely jealous that he can't stand the fact that any guy even talks to Keri. However, the double standard is applied when he is bonking the random blonde chick.

The big question of the movie I'm not sure if Packard is crazier than Keri is dumb. She apparently doesn't know this guy that is stalking her is responsible for the death of her boyfriend. At the very end, she finally realizes that the violent psychopath who terrorizes teh town killed her boyfriend. They try to imply she wasn't sure or couldn't believe he was that evil. I'm sure Halfy, the blind, deaf-mute, quadripalegic would have deciphered that mystery far sooner than Keri.

Sherilyn Fenn definitely fills a pair of cowboy boots and her drive-in uniform. The bikini is a given. Those are her best points. You're not going to consider her acting ability. For a low budget 80s movie, she's not that bad. However, she's not that good either..

How Sheriff Randy Quaid isn't able to arrest a group of guys that force people into racing for pink slips is a mystery. He knows they are behind it though the gang may scare most people into not filing complaints. With the way Packard beats people in front of 20 witnesses says more about the lack of civic responsibility. I'm sure that will get a dissertation about this review. Randy Quaid comes across almost identically as Mickey Hargitay in Lady Frankenstein. He shows up now and then knows that something is going wrong but not what is causing it. High Sheriff Quaid doesn't try to help Keri against Packard.

I can't let any such a car-centric movie from the 80s escape without a pointless reference to the truly under-appreciated cartoon series, Turbo Teen. The Dodge Interceptor in this movie looks a bit more unearthly than say KITT in Knight Rider. Plenty of Trans Ams in 80s movies but not as many Interceptors.

While this movie isn't quite the ultimate personification of Nepotism Theater but is awfully close. Clint Howard is brother to Ron Howard. Nick Cassavetes is son of John "Dirty Dozen" Cassavetes and Gene Rowlands. Griffin O'Neal is the son of Ryan O'Neal and brother of Tatum O'Neal. Randy Quaid is brother to Dennis Quaid. Charlie Sheen is brother to Emilio Estevez and son of Martin Sheen. That is quite an impressive list of actors related to far more famous and talented actors. Unfortunately for the uber-family-tree-double-chocolate-fudge-hat-trick-brownie points for Nepotism Theater, the director Mike Marvin isn't related to Lee Marvin.

How one guy gets reincarnated as someone who looks completely different is a good question? Supposedly, in 2 days, Keri has realized she has a deep emotional connection with Jake. Or she heard the 80s pop love song it was time for the tasteful love scene

Deep philisophical point:
Any soundtrack with Billy Idol, Robert Palmer, and Stan Bush rules.

Quotable Dialogue
"I'm tweeking dude."
"Lot of duckbutter out at the lake today, hey Pack? "
"We do thinks my way, Skank."
"We got a snuffed kid up here."
"I'd put that kidney buster downif I were you..."
"I dreamed the man in the moon was laughing at me."
"Roadblocks won't stop something that can't be stopped!"
Morals of the Story
Men wearing purple eye shadow is very masculine.
Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love" is a great song to grill burgers to..
Cutting your hand is very romantic.
Hydraulic fluid is very tasty.
Sheriff's cars look more authentic without any decals on the side that say "Sheriff's department" on them.
A group of Park rangers with badges can look like a group of deputies.
Attempted vehiucular homicide isn't a crime.
Clint Howard resembles a nerdy Tomas Dolby with electrified hair.
Kidnapping someone is possession and possession is 9/10 of the law.
Supernatural cars have instruction manuals.