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Scarecrow Slayer (2003)

Scarecrow 2
Scarecrow Resurrection


Cast:

Tony "The Candyman can.. cause he sprinkles everything with love..." Todd is Caleb Kilgore
Nicole Kingston is Mary Anderson
David Castro is Karl
Jessica Mattson is Sheila
Steven Schultz is Gavin
Todd Rex is the Scarecrow


What the box says:

When Dave and Karl steal the Scarecrow from Farmer Caleb, Dave is shot and his soul is given new life as the Scarecrow. One by one he dispatches anyone who stands between him and the object of his desire - Mary, his former girlfriend. The Sacrecrow kidnaps Mary dragging her back to the field to resurrect her soul inside a Scarecrow body. Karl races to the rescue but is killed - then resurrected as another Scarecrow! Now, as the two Scarecrows battle, Mary must stop the crteature determined to make her his bride!


Plot:

In a barn, a farmer and his son, Caleb, hear a noise. They look for the dog and discover the scarecrow is gone. Suddenly, the father is killed before the credits roll.

Years later, Caleb is talking into a video camera about the scarecrows because he is an expert on killer scarecrows and written 5 books about killer scarecrows.

In a car, a couple is necking in the front while the couple in the back seat is talking. These guys are fraternity pledges that have to steal a scarecrow for their initiation. The fraternity they�re pledging into happens to be some sort of military frat.

As David and Karl sneak into the field, David reveals he wants to marry his girlfriend, Mary. They are wearing head cams so the frat can watch the mission when they lose contact.

Mary and Judy are talking. Mary set Judy up with David�s friend, Karl.

In the field, Karl relates how scarecrows are involved in ancient Greek mythology.

Caleb is still being interviewed. He has been mocked for years for his studies. However, he has caught the scarecrow.

While the pledges trod on and the girls chat back at the car, Caleb talks about how he caught and imprisoned the scarecrow. Hearing a noise, he grabs his shotgun and runs out.

Frat guys are huddling around the computer waiting for the signal to return.

The pledges find the scarecrow tied to a pole.

Caleb skulks through the fields while the girls get worried and start to look for the guys.

As the pledges untie the scarecrow, the maniacal Caleb opens fire and shoots David. The Matrix-bullet time gag is sued to transfer David�s soul into the body of the scarecrow. Lame CGI ensues with echo reverb, too.

The girls are still looking.

Caleb thinks he has finally killed the scarecrow but realizes he killed a guy, David. Karl grabs the gun. Suddenly, Dave-Scarecrow attacks Caleb. The chicks see the scarecrow walk off and beat feet themselves. Mary is accidentally run over by Judy who gets to the car first.

Later, in the hospital, Mary is a room.

David-Scarecrow is having flashbacks when Karl finds him and offers to help.

At the hospital, Mary is sharing the intensive care room with Caleb who is still rambling. He is glad at least he knows that he hasn�t been crazy his entire life. Though, David is the scarecrow who promptly arrives and kills Caleb. Mary can�t signal help to answer the call light. Mary sneaks out while Caleb continues to ramble.

Elsewhere, a doctor is hitting on a nurse.

Finally, the Scarecrow finishes Caleb off once and for all. Goodbye Tony Todd, maybe you�ll find a better movie than this next time.

The doctor makes a date with the nurse who answers the call light.

Mary sneaks out of the room and the hospital.

The nurse finds the body of Caleb as Mary wanders the streets.

The cops head out to investigate the murder while the scarecrow is on the prowl. Mary gets a hold of some of her friends to give her a ride and some clothes. Vapid valley girl talk ensues. Mary chews out Gavin, the president of the fraternity that David was pledging for his death. Mary realizes that Gavin only cares about the frat and is scum. By the way, they use to date. However, the rugged frat man will take care of the scarecrow.

They drop her off at her car at Caleb�s farm. However, it won�t start. Mary finds Karl. They have to use Caleb�s truck. Karl is sure that David-Scarecrow won�t kill. They decide to pick up Judy from the hospital. She is in shock and finds a bloody drawing on the wall of her room. Karl goes for help while Judy rambles incoherently.

The deputy talks with Mary. He is sure that she killed Caleb to avenge her boyfriend and after her friend to tie up loose ends. She tells him about the scarecrow. He is about to arrest her when the hospital�s power is cut and locks her into the room and goes to investigate.

Power crazed deputy with very pregnant wife deputy see what happened.

Mary takes the opportunity to crawl out through an air vent to Judy�s room.

Scarecrow takes care of the nurse.

Judy is wheeled out by Mary. However, Judy runs off and is gotten by the Scarecrow.

Pregnant deputy lady is attacked.

Mary and Karl get out of Dodge. The Scarecrow is on the top of the car. Mary is able to run over him much to and chagrin of Karl who is still convinced that his friend David wouldn�t hurt anyone. Well, they continue driving away. Mary realizes that the scarecrow will keep stalking her.

She decides to get help from Gavin and is sure he�ll stop the Scarecrow.

Scarecrow gets to the frat house and starts eliminating the frat guys.

Gavin goes to get the ammo and has a short range flame thrower hidden. As Karl, Mark, and Shelia (Gavin�s girlfriend) climb out the window of the house, Mary manages to fall and sprain her ankle.

Gavin and the rest of the disposable fraternity heads for the basement. Some of the terrified frat guys are easily picked off by the scarecrow. Gavin and his elite taskforce head out to frag them a scarecrow.

Deputy arrives on the scene. Mary radios Gavin about the law.

The scarecrow chases the frat guys who discover their bazooka isn�t working. The guys rigs up an electrocution mat for a trap and fries the scarecrow. Gavin has to gloat before the deputy arrives and inspects the scarecrow that starts moving again.

Scarecrow sees Mary hug Gavin. He jumps out of the house and lands on Shelia and goes after Gavin.

Karl gets Mary and the deputy away. The deputy threatens to kill Karl for not obeying him. Mary gets out of the car. Deputy walks off to get his car. Karl heads to the farm and is driven off the road.

Scarecrow kills the deputy.

Karl is with the scarecrow?

Mary gets a ride with Karl who is heading to the farm. When she sees the scarecrow is sitting in the back seat she jumps out of the moving car. Karl pleads to be with David Scarecrow as best friends forever and not to hurt Mary.

Scarecrow carries Mary to the Caleb�s farm while creepy lame pseudo Latin chanting ensues. David Scarecrow has created a scarecrow body for Mary. Karl shows up with a bazooka and rants how he gave everything to Dave. Scarecrow kills Karl whose soul is transferred into the other scarecrow body.

Dueling CGI scarecrows ensue.

Mary unties herself. David throws Karl into a shredder. Mary cannot push Dave into the shredder. Suddenly, an explosion blows Dave up. Mary got the bazooka working. The happy chick walks off to no cheap scare ending which leads into a sequel.


What I say:

Who would think that a low-budget movie like Scarecrow spawn a sequel? Any producer. The Scarecrow franchise is definitely trying to get up there with Chucky or the Leprechaun. Actually, I got both movies on a single DVD. I will have to manage without watching the next sequel. More than that, until it is put on a bargain DVD bin, it shalln't be considered reviewable.

Tony Todd. He never had a lot of big roles but at least they were better than the cameos in low budget movies of today. The man deserves some props for being the greatest Klingon brother on Star Trek: the Next Generation. In fact, he was Kurn, Worf's brother. I can't help but think the prodcers either blackmailed or got him drunk to sign a contract for his role in this movie.

A scarecrow whacking a fraternity. Am I supposed to hoping that a group of member of Future-Alcoholics of America survive? Somehow, I'm rooting for the straw filled being to cap some frat guys. Go ninja scarecrow kill the drunks, prevent them from contributing to the gene OOL (this is the OOL, note there is no P in it...)

This movie has possibly the worst Bill Paxton Hudson impression from Aliens ever. To be snarky, I could have said the worst Bill Paxton impression excluding Bill Paxton's telephoning his performance in Twister. But, one of the disposable frat guy red-shirts was doing a terrible Hudson impression. "I can't take it man..."

Hospitals have been shown to be definitly creepy locations for horror movies like Halloween 2. A long dark hallway with an antiseptic smell trying to hide the odor of disease has the definite unnerving mood. Most people don't have pleasant memories of hospitals. It's pretty easy to through a killer down those hallways and get some cheap scares. Though the spring-loaded cat type should be excluded.

What kind of super-macho militaristic frat would take David and Karl? These guys would probably not even be accepted into Lambda Lambda Lambda by Lamar...Sorry, must throw out the random Revenge of the Nerds reference. If the stereotypical frats guys aren't enough, we get a blonde that is so dumb just hearing her will kill some of your brain cells sort of like Mary Hart's voice being able to cause people to go into seizures.

No "sorry for sending your boyfriend on a prank that killed him." Well, the frat leader guy is sorry about the publicity, head of Greek socities, Student Affairs, etc...I could offer some snarky remarks about how shallow the group is not accepting their fault in the death of the pledge. However, frankly, I don't want to contend with some one writing about how this is a "movie and the wish fulfillment component" etc...

Somehow, the characters from Pinata: Survival Island somehow don't seem quite as dumb compared to the characters in this movie. That movie had the decency to let us leer at Jaime Pressly, which my ten of fans is good thing. The characters in that movie show how truly dumb these characters are in Scarecrow: Slayer. How did they manage to remember to breathe? Involuntary body responses saved their lives for far too long.

We have Karl, a guy who is sure his friend David is good and wouldn't kill anyone. Even though, by this point, David Scarecrow has killed 2 or 3 people. If that isn't bad enough, Karl gets mad when Mary runs over David-Scarecrow and even goes to check on his friend. Later, he wants Scarecrow David to convert him so they can be SUPER-BESTEST-BEST-FRIENDS 4-EVER. Karl seems to be obsessed with David. His was an unknown love compelled in ways that others wouldn't understand.

The best thing about this movie is it is the first horror movie that ends without the proverbial twist ending which leads into another sequel. Granted, there is another Scarecrow movie. However, it is not connected to this one.

David is mentioned as having some martial arts training which is supposed to make the Scarecrow even more dangerous. A pseudo-ninja Scarecrow killing anyone that is between him and his girlfriend transcends just the horror genre and explores the boundaries of romance. The previous sentence was my futile attempt at subtley and biting humor. If you thought it was lame, it was. How could I lie to you? A pseduo ninja scarecrow that wants to convert his girlfriend into a scarecrow but accidentally transfers the soul of his SUPER-BESTEST-BEST-FRIEND into a female scarecrow. A pseudo-ninja scarecrow fighing a transvestite scarecrow?

Scarecrows are soul stealing undead monsters from Greek mythology? I haven't really kept up with Greek mythology since Xena:Warrior Princess was cancelled. Stll, I don't recall any soul-stealing scarecrows.

What kind of college do you attend to become an expert on killer undead scarecrows? I know that some pretty off the wall dissertations have been written. Still, "Killer Scarecrow that Killed my Father" is one of the more unusual ones. The college must be one of those degree mills that award degrees based on life experiences.

While horror movies don't normally have very deep characters especially in the law enforcement field, the deputy guy is so shallow he makes a mud puddle seem deep. In any other movie, this would be the cop that the private detective knows doesn't have the brains to add 1+1. Later, he starts getting even more power crazed threatening to kill people when they don't automatically do what he wants. I know undead scarecrow isn't in the realm of believability. Would a crazy guy dressed as scarecrow running around killing people be a little more believable? Another question is the lack of any physical evidence or even gathering any evidence. With the way Caleb was hacked to death, the killer would have some blood on him. Deputy dawg doesn't even look for any evidence. I'm sure such a small town doesn't have many felonies to investigate so that could justify part of the completely-off-the-wall theories deputy boy develops.

Of things in movies that really cheese me off, the movie that doesn't name its characters is pretty bad. However, one I seem to have stumbled across in quite a few movies lately has been the too dark to see scenes. The very end is so dark you can't tell what scarecrows are doing. Even more, it is impossible to tell which is which.



2 1/2 NINJAS

Quotable Dialogue

"This here Winchester's got your name on it."
"You're describing a serial killer."
"As my dad would say, that's a scary mofo."
"Are you into scary things?"
"He isn't quite dead yet."
"They're not really marines."
"Obssession can be very romantic."
"Code 3, lets go."
"He smells like burnt toast."


Morals of the Story

Farmers always carry shotguns with them.
Kim Little is not Lil' Kim.
Time magazines carries numerous articlaes about killer scarecrows.
Half shirts are very warm.
Police can look people up without arrest warrants or any court orders.
Hospitals don't have any medical professionals.
Fraternities have flamethrowers for emergencies.
Electrocution causes faoming of the mouth.




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