Victoria: It tastes like happiness!

Leigh: Yes, that's nice Victoria. The next candy... Is Hello Kitty 'Lips Candy.' So named because obviously, they do not in any way resemble lips.

Courtney: Do you have any idea how long that is?

Leigh: 730 days, unless you're on a leap year.

Courtney: ...You sit in your tower and naysay...

Victoria: Do you know how many packets of hummus that thing will outlive?!

Leigh: We are NOT doing middle eastern foods! That's next week. Now shut up, because I'm about to blow the roof off this thing with my important discovery. The caramel hamsters, to my ignorant gaijin eyes, appear to be the same brand of squiggles as the pocky hamsters. In other words, they are manufactured by the same hamster-loving company. However, look closely:

Courtney: ... I see... That you're losing the plot.

Leigh: No! This! This M-design!

Leigh: You'll notice that this so-called "Morinaga" company is making BOTH Kitty candy and everyone's favourite hamster brand!

Courtney: Ye-es...

Leigh: Don't you see! The M is a design with the head of a lady at the apex! She must be a prow! Prows come on ships! Therefore, Hello Kitty was created by pirates!

Victoria: That's the dumbest thing I've ever -

Courtney: Great Hammer of Thor! You're right!

Leigh: I know. I always am.

Victoria: Whatever. All I know is, my genetic gleam vulnerability theory - the GGV theorem - still stands. And this so called 'grape flavour' of boiled candy, covered in confectionary sugar, tastes like a poke in the eye with an anime grape.

Leigh: That's great, but why are you covered in confectionary sugar?

Victoria: As far as I can tell, I did it with my mind.

Leigh: ...Is 'did it with my mind' code for 'when I opened the tin, it exploded all over me'?

Courtney: I've had enough of your naysaying!

Leigh: ...Argh! Oh god, get her off me! Not my ear! I need that to hold up my Goku earring!

Victoria: COURTNEY! For the last time, put down the pillow!

Courtney: Hey, I just thought someone ought to say something, that's all.

Victoria: Well, we speak with out mouth-lips, not our pillow-hands.

Courtney: ...Fine.

Victoria: I think you're both missing the point. This exploding candy powder is obviously some kind of weapon.

Leigh: Oh Christ...

Victoria: Call on your god, for he cares not! Foreign gods rule the fair islands of the east, and they have unleashed upon me a powder designed to attack my own genetic strands (aka D-N-A) and make me more susceptible to cute little animals! I must have one of those Juice PoPsicles! GIVE THEM TO ME!

Courtney (enigmatically): How now brown cow.

Victoria: Sweet, pastel-coloured, frozen juice bars! Mmmm!

Leigh: You do know they're not frozen yet, right? We have to put the in the freezer before they'll solidify. I like to picture Mum's face the next time she opens it and sees the happy little penguins playing under the cartoon squiggles.

Courtney: ...Wow. That is a good image.

Leigh: Yeah, and the lightning bolt hits her and she shouts WHAAAA? and falls over like a cardboard cutout?

Courtney: That's the one.

Victoria: These Juice PoPsicle things are pretty good. They taste like a pastel rainbow of smiles.

Leigh: ...Maybe her genetic confectionary weapon idea had some merit afterall.

Courtney: I'd just like to know how she manages to pronounce the PoP spelling on the package.

Leigh: Wouldn't we all?

Victoria: So far your 'gee, all these packets don't have cute little animals' argument isn't holding up so good, Leigh. I mean, look at this penguin smile!

Leigh: I didn't say they didn't all have cute things on them, I said the hamsters were -

Courtney: It's too late to change your tune now.

Leigh: It's the same tune!

Courtney: Oh-ho. Sure it is, Leigh.


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