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An elderly lady was well-known for her faith
and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout "PRAISE THE LORD!" Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!!" Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted "PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!" The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD." The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didn't." The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said, "PRAISE THE LORD. He not only sent me groceries, but He made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!" |
| One Faithful Elderly Lady |
| The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help. Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. |
| Bloopers in the Church
The following are actual church bulletin board bloopers found in churches across the United States. |