All you wanted to know about Team Generic but were afraid (or didn't care enough) to ask.



If you've run any races in Greater Cincinnati over the past several years, no doubt you've seen the black and white TEAM GENERIC uniform. Numbering more than forty strong, the group has been increasing faster than the number of Aids cases in a Haitian bath house, growing faster than a weight lifter's hemorrhoids.
Our weekend runs frequently have more than fifteen runners, so although we all run the same course, the pack usually spreads out to three or four groups, each running at the pace they want. Afterwards, we all eat together and tell lies.

Team Generic is for you if you:
1. want to run better races.
2. have thick skin.
3. have a warped sense of humor.
4. look good in basic black and white.
5. enjoy a good argument now and then.
6. don't mind being talked about when you don't show up.

Knowing what you're getting yourself into and, if you're still interested......Read the Generic Guidelines.

Membership Criteria.
To earn membership a candidate must run with the group three times within a three month period/ Either the Dee-Light's  or McDonald's course qualify. Additional qualifying events include the Seven Hills Run, Charleston Distance, Classic Dayton River Corridor Classic, and Walk America. If you're a real horse's butt, we'll make up a new rule to keep you out, but judging by the characters in the group, our standards aren't too demanding.

Attire.
Once qualified, the new Generic must acquire his/her own uniform which consists of a plain

 white or black top (singlet or T-shirt) with "Team Generic" on the front in plain block letters. Shorts or tights should be black. Any accessories should be black or white only. Silly ass neon or multi-colored shorts and shoes are inconsistent with the true Generic philosophy, but tolerated. Tie dyed or colored shirts and shorts with advertising on them are in very poor taste and border on being sacrilegious. The shirt/singlet must be worn at all races and the Seven Hills Run. It should not be worn at any other time, e.g. training runs, run brunches, car shows, or rasslin' matches. Team Generic jackets and sweatshirts may be worn at any time. the same goes for the soon-to-be released line of Team Generic items including caps, key chains, earmuffs, lingerie, tires, beer, cigars, trading cards (collect them all!) and air freshener.

Dues.
There ain't none! We're counting on the sales profit from the Team Generic items to cover all expenses. In addition, we're expecting to make a bundle this spring when the hilarious Team Generic sitcom is released on ABC (Tuesdays at 8:30 p.m., 7:30 central). You'll laugh 'til you snort when you watch the zany antics of those madcap Generic guys 'n gals as they bumble their way from one running adventure to another, But I digress... Team Generic needs for 2000 include a new team bus for local races and a 40 passenger plan for road trips.

Sponsorship.
I've been approached by corporate sponsors inquiring as to whether any or all Team Generic members can be bribed or run races representing their businesses in team competition. The answer is certainly! If approached by two or more potential sponsors for the same race, we'll run for whoever pays the most or give us the most neat stuff.

 Training Run Schedule.
The basic schedule is:
Saturday - at Dee-Lights in Ludlow.
Sunday - at McDonalds in Covington.<
Starting time at both locations is 7:30 a.m. between Memorial Day and Labor Day inclusive, 8:00 a.m. the rest of the year. That's not too complicated, is it? You'd be amazed at the number of calls I get from Buckeyes with accents and inebriated Kentuckians at midnight asking "wha' time we runnin' tommorra'? or better yet, "whose conin' down"?

The only exceptions to this schedule are:
1. The Sunday before Thanksgiving we meet at McDonalds in Latonia and run the Turkey Day Race course.
2. The Seven Hills Run (always on a Sunday in December) replaces that normal Sunday run.

One days which there is a big race, e.g. Mini Marathon, and sometimes the day preceeding a big race, the turnout may be light, but the course will be open.

Oh, did I mention.... When I say we start at 7:30 or 8:00, I mean 7:30 sharp!
and 8:00 sharp, FTT (Fort Thomas Time). When the timekeeper announces "Time", Team Generic suddenly makes tracks. Come early and be prepared or come late and do your speed work from the git-go.

Meetings.
There never has been one and there never will.

Mark Koenig
Grand Poobah,
10th Degree
 

Home   Up   Group Runs   All You Wanted to Know   Remaining On The Roster   Letter From Egypt   
Houston Woods Marathon   Pfaff's Corvette   Poobah's Barracuda   Mel's Cars
Hammer's Impala   Pit Babe   A Letter From Dave  John's Camaro

 

 

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1