oh and when he does!

the accent! the wit! the boldness!

sometimes he puts his foot in it by saying things that mean one thing to him and another thing to the rest of the world but the character behind such comments encourages some tolerance, and when he's at his best his confidence is a virtue that you can admire, and he has shown/will show some ability to be sensitive and/or tactful and/or appologetic when he needs to be,

AUSTRALIAN EPISODES

TAXED

~*~*~*~
"We were chasing suspects and I lost mine, so I went looking for Luke and I found him, white as a
sheet, hyperventilating, the suspect's legged it and he's got no real account for himself...he's either
let the bloke go, or he's done his pants, ain't he?"
~*~*~*~
"What are you after, a pat on the head?  Like you said, you told me what happened, ok, done.  I'll
work with you Luke, I'll back you up on the street, but if you want to make friends,
go look somewhere else."
~*~*~*~
I've worked two shifts with you, and in just one of them you've bottled it with a suspect,
lied about it, blamed me for something we both got wrong and then kept yourself in the background during an arrest!"
~*~*~*~

CRACKED UP

~*~*~*~
"I ain't had any trouble in the khazi department, but anger, I can relate to that."
~*~*~*~
"No, You've had umpteen chances to say just one word.  One tiny word and you can't do it,
can you?  Because you don't mean it."
~*~*~*~

WEDDED BLISS

~*~*~*~
“It was the same in the army, all the officers are toffee-nosed ponces who haven’t got a clue.”
~*~*~*~
after Kerry's comments on his suit
“Why, what were you expecting?  Cor blimey trousers and a dustman’s coat?”
~*~*~*~

ROCK BOTTOM

~*~*~*~
“I just don’t see the point of sentencing some scrote to a few games of badminton for mugging an
old lady...It’s all part of this ‘victim culture’ - we’ll be calling our prisoners ‘clientts’ next.”
~*~*~*~

INTEGRITY PART ONE

~*~*~*~
Tom  “Not so fast, Josephine.” He reminds Smithy that they’re supposed to be building cross-community relations.
“Oh yeah,” says Smithy. “I wouldn’t want to cause an international incident just by doing my job.”
~*~*~*~
“It’s not my problem, guvnor, I made a legitimate arrest.”

“In this case, we’re going to have to find a way of giving Mr Michaels the benefit of the doubt,” says Brownlow.

“I’m sorry guvnor, but this is a load of rubbish.”
~*~*~*~
On Michaels getting away, “Politics,” Smithy moans.
“Lot of it about,” says Matt, cheerfully.
“It’s about time the guvnors decided whether or not we’re law enforcers.”
“Yeah, well that’s their business,” Matt replies. “You’ve got a point though,” he adds, quietly.
~*~*~*~
To Nick on his first day at Sun Hill.
“Welcome to the real London,” Smithy greets him.
“What’s so unreal about Ladbrooke Grove?” Nick asks.
“Well, it’s all toffs and designer dreadlocks, innit?”
~*~*~*~
“Is he all right?” Tony asks Nick.
“Does he smile much?” Nick asks.
“Well... not really, no,” Sam Harker replies.
“Then I guess he’s all right,” Nick concludes.
~*~*~*~
“Between you and me mate, I had this big juicy block of resin taped underneath my mixing desk. I though they were going to catch me, but... I got lucky.”
Smithy stares at him.
Nick smiles. “Classic face man! Shocked, fading to disgusted!”
~*~*~*~
Smiffy goes to see Mr Brownlow after Nick come back from 'making a phone call'. “I’ve got an important phone call I forgot to make.”
~*~*~*~
“Look, Taylor or whatever his name is, was running after me shouting, calling me ‘pig bastard’. If you’d been there instead of behind your desk having an opinion, you’d have handled it the same way sir.”
~*~*~*~
On Nick:
“Well it’s funny company for a copper,” says Smithy. “Maybe someone should be keeping an eye on old Patsy.”
~*~*~*~

INTEGRITY PART TWO

~*~*~*~
To Nick: “Get lost on the way to the bog, did ya?”
~*~*~*~
“I’ll tell you this, the top brass - they don’t know the meaning
of the word ‘integrity’.”
~*~*~*~
“I don’t believe in breaking the law,” Smithy hisses. “And I don’t believe in taking advantage. You weren’t straight with me.”
~*~*~*~
You’re under arrest sarge!  For perverting the course of justice!”
~*~*~*~
“Didn’t need your advice. It’s a question of integrity.”
~*~*~*~
 

THE THREE SERGENTS

~*~*~*~
helping June with the 'drunk'
"Don't let his shoes scrape the ground, he might ignite!"
~*~*~*~

LOVE AND WAR

~*~*~*~
“I think I’ll wash me hair and have an early night then.”
~*~*~*~

CONSUMERS

~*~*~*~
Matt: "You hold it up and say look at the birdie and take a picture, it really hacks them off"
Smiffy: "I like it"
~*~*~*~
after chasing after a mugger:
"When I say stay - you stay!"
~*~*~*~
to Cass in the pub:
"You can join me underneath the table anytime you like!"
~*~*~*~
Smiffy (aprox): "to Jim Carver for being more effective in absence than he ever was in
presence"
~*~*~*~

LOCK IN

~*~*~*~
'it's sick isn't it' Smiffy on Jim's alcholism. Profound honesty.
~*~*~*~

IN THE FIRING LINE

~*~*~*~
“People lose teeth talking like that, pal. Now d’you want to do business, or do you want to get snotty?” (while undercover, to men complaining he's late)
~*~*~*~
“Any bother in there?” aks Jake Miller
“What’s the matter? Did you forget to bring a comic to read while you were waiting.”
~*~*~*~
“No offence to Jake,” says Smithy, “but you need someone who’s been ‘over the wire’ a few times. Not someone who’s still playing with his action man.”
~*~*~*~
“It’s a bit naughty, but I’ve got an idea,” Smiffy's annouces his idea to get the information they need.
~*~*~*~
“You’re mad!” Stockley yells. “You can’t do that!”
“Yes I can. And when my guvnor from Sun Hill ask, I’ll tell them you got frightened and ran off.”
~*~*~*~

BY EPISODE

SOFT TALKING

~*~*~*~
Andrew Monroe bursts into CAD. “Am I hearing this right?” he asks in disbelief.
“It’s kind of a home birth,” Vicky explains. “And Dr Smith is in attendance.”
“Has he done this before?” Andrew asks.
“The baby will be fine - it’s Smithy I’m worried about.”>
“He hates kids,” Matt explains.
~*~*~*~
“So where’s my flowers?” she asks.
“Shop was shut.”
“You’re so cheap.”
“What the ’ell were you doing having a baby in the street?” Smithy asks.
~*~*~*~
“There’s a lot of blood though,” Smithy recalls the birth.
“Yeah, it’s a bit different when it’s for real,” says June.
“Who’d be a woman?”
“Indeed.”
~*~*~*~
“Well what about what Karen Napier said?” Smithy asks. “He’s violent. He’s got to be worth a tug.”
~*~*~*~
“People have kids, they think they can do what they like with them. My old man used to knock me about all over the gaff when I was a kid,” Smithy recalls.
“Good old days, eh?” Sam asks.
“Well it’s different if you’re a lad innit? You can always hit ’em back.”
“And did you?”
“No... never seemed worth the hassle. It was much easier to go out with my mates... But if I was Hayley...”
~*~*~*~
June thinks it’s unlikely, but Smithy tries to remain optimistic. “I’m not going to let her dump her kid.”
~*~*~*~
“Pc Smith seems to think so,” says Claire.
“He’s got good instincts,” says Chris. “Stick with him.”
~*~*~*~
“Don’t cry,” Smithy to Hayley.
~*~*~*~
“I was scared, you know?” Hayley to Smiffy.
“No. Not really.”
~*~*~*~

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