| as told by Matthew, age 2 |
| "There is no Dan fan newsletter. No Dan fan magazine. No Dan anything. Every month Mommy keeps giving me 'Sesame Street Magazine'. It is nice to look at. There is that funny red monster, Elmo. He's okay. But he is not Dan." |
| "Mommy does not always let me bring "FP Dan" along when we go out. She says she does not want me to lose him. Doesn't she know that I always know where "FP Dan" is?" |
| "I really want Dan to get his own show so I can see him every day. Mommy said even that Greta lady on CNN has her own show and she's so liberal she makes Paul Begala look like a preservative." |
| "I got a doggie for my birthday. Mommy keeps telling me his name is Justice but I call him Dan anyway. Mommy said we can call him Justice Dan. She got a tag made up for him that even says Justice Dan. But Dan and I know what his real name is." |
| Reasons Why Its Hard To Be A Dan Fan, as told by Matthew, age 2 1/2 |
| "Now that Dan has his own show, it is really hard to decide every night whether to just watch Dan or play with Daddy. Daddy seems like he really wants me to play but, gee, Dan's on!" |
| as told by Matthew, age 22 months |
| "Mommy can't buy me neat things like backpacks, coloring books, or t-shirts with Dan on them." |
| "Dan doesn't have a video where he sings, dances, and tells funny stories." |
| "He isn't on t.v. the same time every day. Some days he is not on at all. That makes me grouchy. Like the day I got really, really mad because Mommy wouldn't look for him on t.v. so I threw my sippy cup at her. When she got done mopping up the blood from that little bone on the top of her nose, she let me know how really, really mad she was. I won't ever do that again. Ever. But she did look awfully funny for a few days." {Mother's editorial comment: This was a first and last attempt at being an aggressive, monstrous child. Usually, he is sweet-natured and gentle.} |
| "Sometimes, if I scream Dan's name enough times, Mommy looks like she wants to scream, too." |
| "Dan doesn't have a world tour like the rest of my other friend's favorite characters." |
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| "None of my friends know who Dan is." |
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| Matthew on "TAR" |