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This page is incomplete because it will contain reactions emailed to me from those who view this site. Please feel free to email any thoughts to me at [email protected].
On December 14, Meredith Roberts wrote:
What to say? I didn't know jenn very well... I don't understand death, nor do I understand suicide. but, this is a beautiful reflection of her life. It's terrible how she died, and it's worse to know that she felt completely alone... But she has taught us all something and you brought out that point- friendships can fade... But they don't have to- and that really made me think. I'm going to add my current address and number to the "comments" list so if anyone wants to get a hold of me, they can in one way or another. I am all ears-
Meredith
408 W Vine
Kalamazoo, Mi 49001
(616)552-4362
On 12-14-99, Keisha wrote:
I really don't know what to say. I totally was not prepared for what was on the website. I guess I had been trying to put everything in the back of my head and focus on studying. But, once I looked at it, the pain came back. I began picturing all of the fun times Jen & I had in Mr. Pound's class and even senior year when we would joke around. I began to realize just how much I miss her. I guess the saying is true that you never know just how someone meant to you until they are gone. Jen was someone that I had known since the 6th grade. We were friends, but we weren't really close. All of my friends mean a lot to me, but I guess they just don't know how much. Even though we weren't that close, losing her did affect me. It kind of makes you want to not get close to anyone if they are just going to end up leaving anyway. I know that isn't the best attitude to have and I'm not saying that I'm living by that. It actually makes me want to be closer to some of my high school friends. Just to let them know that I do appreciate their friendship and to know that I do care. It's kind of difficult to do that while in school which we all know, but it is important to make an effort. I think you did a wonderful job on the site. Here is my contact info:
phone (734) 763-0858
[email protected].
On 12-14-99, Emily wrote:
I don't know if I believe in God but I hope that you will be able to heal around the special space that Jenn will keep forever. This whole thing makes me want to kick something. For whatever reason, we all go our separate ways. It sucks and it's sick and maybe Jenn is the poster child for this. But I never knew her to be any different than any of us. It could have been any one of the friends that we know that couldn't handle it any more or didn't feel worthwhile anymore. It makes me feel queasy. She's really lucky to have a friend like you. Please include my email address ([email protected]) because, like Meredith, I would definitely want to hear from anyone who might want to say anything.
Em
On 12-27-99, Jimmy wrote:
Great job on the site...This is for the reactions page...
I don't know what to say, or if what I might say is even appropriate, but here goes... Jennifer was a very loving person. She was there for me on many occasions. I knew her for what would have been 7 years, since i was in 6th grade and she was best friends with a girl named Chairity. I became close with her when I got into my first year of highschool. Many times we would get on the phone in the evening and not get off till the sun was coming over the horizon. I don't know what to make of her decision, but I do know that the world is forever a little less bright than before.
Jimmy 'Bus' Baldwin
[email protected].
On 2-1-00, Pratheep wrote:
I didn't know, Jenny very well at all, I had a few classes with her, and she seemed happy to me...a really nice girl, normal, but happy. I know one thing for sure is that Jenny was a great loss to this world, and it is such a tragedy to hear about it. I just want to give my condolences to her family, her friends, and especially to by best friend and Jenny's close friend Tom. It was a real honorable thing you did, by making this website, I'm sure her
family appreciates it much. I didnt know you were so close to Jenny, or that her death affected you so much. But I wanted to let you know, it hurts me to know that you had to suffer through this. I feel bad that I have been in school, and away from you through all this, becuase I know you would have been there for me if one of my closest friends had died. You have been through alot these last 2 years, and the fact that you can go on so strongly is really incredible.
Pratheep
[email protected].
On 2-10-00, Bryan wrote:
Wow
She was one of us...needless to say I was shocked, upset, and somewhat scared all at the same time. Jen and I had our moments. There was the whole group, Lauren, Tom, Faye, Jen, Me, Mer, Nesa, and many others. I know as of late, we haven't all been that close but to come to the realization that one of us is missing (physically at least), doesn't sit well with me. Keisha said it best (at least i saw it mentioned in her letter) when she said we don't realize how important something or someone is until they are gone. Its unfortunate that it takes something like this to bring a bunch of us back together. I know we all promised to stay together and in touch and I really feel awful that i haven't been doing the best job of that. Jen was one of those people that no matter what, always had a smile to share. Tom - this page is incredible. She was very lucky to have a friend (brother) like you. You have always been one of the strongest of us, this page and what you have done for the rest of us is extraordinary. To everyone else - it sounds like you are doing well. Keep up the hard work. I miss all of you. Tom, please pass my condolences on to the family. I only met them a few times [which i will never forget :)] but they were very nice. Hang in there everyone.
Here is my contact info:
1301 S. Washington; Room 208
Mt. Pleasant, MI 48858
(517) 774-5442
[email protected].
Love,
Bryan Burnstein
On 2-11-00, Robert Martin wrote:
The website is fantastic! What a loving tribute of friendship and
kindness. It is so obvious you constructed the site with care and excellence! It is difficult for me to accept Jen is really dead. It is like a distant dream, that I keep thinking, "this will be over soon..." I'm not sure I have the words to adequately express my feelings to add to the website. But I will continue to meditate about the appropriate words.
Mr.M.
On 2-25-00, Lauren Silverstein wrote:
It has taken me many months to reach a point where I could even begin to attempt to put into words an appropriate sentiment to give you as a reaction. I'm sorry for the nonsensical order it's all put in, but it's the only way. My only hope is that through this all, we can learn something- about life, love, and friendship. Anyone whose life Jenn touched learned this from her-
I'm sure she'd wish us to never forget it.
I met Jenn in sixth grade. We were in choir together at Thompson, but it didn't go much beyond that. We were just friendly. We became a bit closer once we got to high school. By tenth grade, Jenn was one of my dearest friends. We had English together. What a class that was. 9 of us.... Bry, Tom, Faye, Jenn, Keisha, Courtney, Lauren, Tony Westover, me, and Mr. Ogden. What a trip. That year was one of my favorite years of high school. The five
of us, Bryan, Tom, Faye, Jen, and me, became an inseperable team. These were the people I called every night (much to their dismay often), these were the people I went to the movies with, these were the people I loved as my own. Jenn and I formed a truly special bond. We were in choir together, so we saw each other multiple times during the day. She became my best friend. She also
incited quite a rotten streak in me, but I love her for it. When we turned sixteen and I got a car, Jenn and I developed an early case of senioritis. We skipped school- went to the mall, to the park, to her house, to have a banana split at ray's for lunch- everything. She was the first person to ever dye my hair. She confided in me, but nowhere near as much as she did with Tom.
I was always jealous of that. At least they had each other though.
Regardless, Jenn and I were together a lot. The summer after sophomore year, I spent almost every day at the Smith's house, in their basement, watching movies and giggling. Smitty took us fishing one morning that summer. Jenn and I got so sea-sick that we spent hours on the shore sleeping and eating chips to try
and calm our stomachs. But God, did we laugh. Jenn always made me
laugh. The picture on this page, of her with a face mask on and sticking up her middle finger- I took that picture. That's how I'll always remember Jenn. Silly and sweet and always making me smile. That year was trying though. She always had a tendency to "fall in love" with the wrong people. That was the year she
fell for Kowan. We all went to Austria together- that's where Jenn and I had our first fight. She and Kowan became a couple there though. That summer, her heart was broken. She called me in the middle of the night and asked me to come get her. She hopped out the window (another way I'll always remember her) and we went to the park to talk. That was the most vulnerable I had ever seen her. The tears flowed for what felt like hours, but she came through it. She always did. I wish to God she had the last time. Sometimes I'm angry with her for being so selfish. How dare she take her life and leave us here to deal with it all. But then I think about all of these memories, and there are so many more than I listed, and I remember how much I loved her. How much I still love her. I shed a few tears and then I smile up at the sky and
tell her so. I'm not one to believe in Heaven or Hell, but I still think she's up there somewhere, looking down at us, watching over us. It makes me feel safe to know that. I hope and pray she is at peace with herself now, and the she can finally experience the happiness she deserves. I'll always remember you Jenny- my friend, my sister, my confidante, my Jenn. I love you sweetie.
Lauren
[email protected].
On 4-12-00, Delince Pierre-Louis wrote:
When I found out Jenn had commited suicide,the day became gray. It was overfilled with sweet memories of her. I met Jenn her junior year. I had just become a freshmen. She was good friends with my cousin. So we ended up friends too. Jenn was really there for anybody. As a freshmen, she often guided me in my new high school career. Jenn really made you feel comfortable around her. I remember the day she graduated. I remember clapping and cheering her name. The last time I saw Jenn was at Hart Plaza. She was so happy to see me. She hugged me with a very tight and
loving grip. She was so happy. She was young, and she looked like she wanted to live with a never ending passion. I can't believe that was the last time I saw Jenn. Now she lives in my thoughts. Love...
Delince Pierre-Louis
[email protected].
On 4-21-00, Tina Tappy wrote:
I saw your dear friend Jenn on the 1000 Deaths website. It is so sad to loose someone that you care about in a tragic suicide like that. I am touched by your memorial to her life. I also lost my only sibling to suicide on the 3rd of January of this year. I know the pain and feel it deeply. My brother's name is David A. Dill. His picture appears on page 36 of the 1000 Deaths website. I just want you and Jenn's family to know that we share in your grief and painful loss of a loved one. My brother suffered from depression, but would never seek help. Again my heart, sympathy and prayers go out to all who knew Jenn. With love and kindness,
Tina Marie Tappy... A survivor of suicide
[email protected]
June 3, 2000 Rochelle wrote:
I was one of Jennifer's closest friends we laughed, hung out, ate each other's food, and took care of each other for three years. I met her in my sophomore year and we made fun of each other everyday in every kind of way. It took up to our senior year to really be close and do everything together to really get to know
one another. I think that she was a warm-hearted, gentle, silly, loving, compassionate, and a beautiful lady. When I was told that this had happened I asked her father to stop playing and when he said he wasn't I broke. Every part of me broke into pieces and my mind was lost. I lost it twice because knowing she killed herself wasn't enough it was knowing how that caught me off guard. I admit it I cussed her out because she left everyone hurting and scared. After lashing out I realize for my friend to think she was alone she didn't realize who and how much she had hurt us to leave us the way she did. I miss my best friend Everyday, because I'm reminder of her every day in every way. No matter what comes along and no matter how my life goes I know she was my first good best friend and no one could ever take her place. I have learnt a lot this year without her, I know family is everything because there love is untouchable. The other thing I learned was that people can judge your life but you have to live your life the way you want to and not for anyone else. Jennifer and I said when we got forty we
where go to Jamaica and do what Stella did in the movie. Trust me I'll see my best friend and when I do we'll do everything we promised one another to do. I love you Jennifer Elizabeth Smith and my family misses you. To my lovely new family, I was asked to keep in touch and I will. If I move or not I will keep in touch
with you, and to the Smith's I love you for being there, talking and laughing. Thank You and I wish you all the best.
Rochelle Curry
[email protected]
On 8/21/00, Lauren Silverstein wrote:
How is it humanly possible that a year has gone by. How is it possible that my heart, that all of our hearts still ache with a pain nothing can subside. How is it that life has gone on for me but not for one of the people I love so dearly. Rarely does a day go by that I don't think of Jenn- sometimes with a smile, but often with tears.
These last few weeks I've been reflecting on my life and on hers more and more. And I've learned such a valuable lesson from it all: Friendship is so intensely important and dear- and it should always be cherished so that it never disappears. I know that some of the people in Jenn's life feel responsible for her death; so many of us lost touch- especially after high school. If nothing, to replenish our guilt, I think we should all take heed to the lesson emmolating from her death: Let not our friendships die in vain. Let us come together and support each other- now more than ever.
One of my favorite quotes from Jewish scripture reads: If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, who am I? And if not now, when? I think it's an important message for us all to carry within us each day. Take that, and the memory of Jenn, and let your heart be filled with love and friendship.
Jenn- I will always miss you and always love you. Everyone will. Forever.
[email protected].
On 7-24-02, Rhonda Polk wrote:
This is Rhonda for SL.� I was roaming on the internet trying to find an obituary for Jennifer and I found your page.� I know it's like 3 years later but it would really mean�a lot to me if I could contribute in some way.� So if you can include what I write I'd really appreciate it.
I know it's 3 years later and I am really�late but I had to say something, whether it was for her or for myself, I just had to.� When I found out Jennifer had died I was really stunned.� I actually found out the day before the funeral.� Ella had called me at school and she's like I have to tell you something about Jennifer.� I thought she was pregnant or getting married, but she was dead.���Since I was in Ithaca, NY I got up at 6am and jumped on the road so I could just be there.� The whole drive I didn't believe it.� I just knew that my friend would never do something like that and something else had to have happened.� Maybe and ex or something had killed her, but never did I believe that she had taken her life.� She was just so pretty and you just wanted her to be happy.� I knew she didn't like being home, but she was a teenager and who does.�
Jennifer was versatile.� She had friends in every circle.� Whether it was choir, volleyball, or Chavonne she was a friend to everyone.� Jennifer and I became friends Freshman year when we played volleyball together.� My brother had the biggest crush on Jennifer.� We were always giving each other men advice that we never took and that always got us in some kind of mess.� I think my favorite phrase was "Oh Jennifer!"because she�always fell for the�wrong men and it took forever to get that in her head (Vanessa, you know), but that was Jennifer and I loved her for her drama. � I remember getting in my car ready to go beat up some guy that hurt her feelings.� She was just my friend and I loved her.� Our plan was to go to Times Square for New Years since I was moving to New York, but we lost touch.� Everytime I read "we'll always keep in touch" on the back of her senior picture I just feel so quilty.� All I had to do was call more and I didn't.� I was so caught up in what I was doing and I will regret that for a long time.� Jenns suicide was hard for me because I was so angry.� I was just so mad because I didn't understand it.� She could have called me and stayed with me in NY, but everytime I talked to her she seemed okay.� I just spent years being angry.� Angry because the person in that coffin wasn't half as pretty as Jennifer was and she was so thin and her face was so unreal.� I went to the cemetary last summer to go visit her and I half expected that she woudn't be there and it would have just been a dream, but it wasn't.
Jennifer I miss you a lot and it just sucks that I'll never be able to tell you all of my drama and what hurts even more is that I'll never know yours and I'll never know why...� I guess I just miss you.
Sorry if it's jumbled but�it's still kind of hard to put things into words.�
[email protected]