We lived within walking distance of each other and would spend hours at the other's house. Our families loved their new additions and didn't mind the time we spent with each other. Our friends thought that there might be something of a romantic nature between the two of us, but both of us had significant others at the time and we truly thought of each other as brother and sister. I remember the times that we spent together and how I didn't have to put on an act to deal with her.
I also remember that she was so easy to talk to. Whenever I had to tell her something, I would want to talk to her because she would actually listen. When you try to talk to most people, they turn the conversation into a contest, trying to best your ordeal with one of their own. Or they will try to give some solution that will miraculously solve everything. Jenn just knew how to shut up and listen to my problems. I did the same for her.
I know that you are asking yourself, "If they were so close and told each other everything, why did she kill herself?" Well I am getting to that.
We stayed really close throughout sophomore year but about halfway through junior year, we started to drift apart. It is easy to see that now, but at the time we didn't really notice too much. We just gradually grew apart. We had fewer classes together and saw each other less. When we did see each other, we still said hello and smiled warmly but that intimacy wasn't as strong as it once was. We started to treat each other more like friends than like siblings. Eventually, just talking to each other was a rare occurrence and when we did talk, it was a little distanced. In a life with many mistakes and few regrets, I regret allowing our relationship to wither and fade. I have been trying to replace that friendship with another, but there has been nothing close. She was one of a kind, smart, funny, warm, caring, beautiful and possessing a great sense of humor. I will always remember and cherish the good times we had together.
