Jennifer's Grave
 |
This is a picture of the entrance gates to the Christian Memorial Cemetery.
Jennifer was laid to rest at Christian Memorial Cultural Center in Rochester Hills, Michigan. She is in plot #692 which is as close to her grandfather as she could be. Her headstone got in last spring. To get to the Cemetery from Southfield (where many of those who will be reading this are from) take Fourteen Mile Rd north until you reach Rochester Road. Turn left and take that until you reach Hamlin. Turn right on Hamlin and take that for about half a mile. You will then see the Christian Memorial Cultural Center on your left.
 |
This is a picture of Jennifer's headstone.
The first time I went to visit her at the cemetery, I went not knowing what to expect. I hoped that by going I would have some sort of cathartic overflow of emoions which would make all the pain end. I also hoped that I would gain some sort of revelation which would explain why she had done this. But, standing over my friend's grave, I didn't have and epiphanies or fall to my knees sobbing. It still hurt as much as before and I still had no reasons as to why she killed herself. There was this strange sort of calm that wasn't there before. I don't really know why it was but somehow I felt centered, as if the worst was over and it was time to heal. Going there since has not been a traumatic kind of event. I can stand over her and a mix of emotions and memories will come to me. After my visit, I will leave with different fellings each time. Sometimes I will leave with good memories about the times that we had. Other times, I will leave feeling cheated and bitter. I'd be angry at her for doing this to herself, angry at God for letting her believe that she was so alone that this was the only solution. But for the most part I would be angry at myself for allowing us to grow apart as we did. Then I leave and go home while my friend lies in the cold ground.
 |