ON BEING TWENTY - SOMETHING They call it the "Quarter-life
Crisis." It is when you stop going along with
the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about
yourself that
you didn't know and may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a
year or two,
but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe,
those friends
that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest
people you
have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some
of the most
important ones.
What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too,
and aren't
really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused
as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you
thought you
would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing
that you
are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing
and find
yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize
that you have
certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things
to your
list of what is acceptable and what isn't.
One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh
and cry
with the greatest force of your life.
You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the
enemy and
you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize
that the
past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing
to do but
stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could
do such
damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet
anyone decent
enough that you want to get to know better.
Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too ! and cann
ot figure out
why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad
person.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting
wasted and
acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the
same
emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends
about the
same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for
yourself...
and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just
like to be a
contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates
to it. We are
in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as
we can to
figure this whole thing out.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials
to make you
strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you
happy. |